


A Tarot A Day Keeps The Death Away

by danyachuu



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gang World, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Blood and Gore, Bottom Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Cheating, Drug Dealing, Emotional Manipulation, Felix is Immortal, Felix is a Tarot reader, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lee Minho | Lee Know is a Sweetheart, M/M, Minor Character Death, Physical Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Swearing, Tarot, Time Loop, Top Bang Chan, Verbal Abuse, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:42:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 82,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26091337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danyachuu/pseuds/danyachuu
Summary: Felix disguises his immortality with a simple job such as a fortune teller. Apart from his current job as a taxi driver, he reads people’s Tarot cards for living as well.Chan deals drugs around the district and occasionally, but just occasionally, he breaks bones and noses when things don’t go his way. Or at least he used to do that until he met his guardian angel.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix
Comments: 114
Kudos: 287





	1. Felix

**Author's Note:**

> No notes, head empty.
> 
> [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/zivkovicdanica_?s=09)

Felix had always been much into hand, cup and Tarot reading. The mere thought of his future being bright and full of new opportunities had brought smiles on his caramel-tanned face. Flipping the cards and finding out what they're hiding behind the pretty pattern had woken desperation and intrigue among his senses and had kept him awake for way more than he should have stayed. 

However, there was this one card that bothered him the most. He had spent most nights crying and being scared because he had just never managed to pull that Tarot card with his own two fingers. 

'The Lovers'? No, not that one, although that was the other card he hadn't managed to pull out. Seungmin was his 'The Lovers' card; his best friend. Nights spent in his embrace, having him wipe the tears away and whisper soft reassuring lullabies for Felix to sleep had felt like a God's gift for the icy blonde. What could Felix do without Seungmin? 

'Death'? Many thoughts had lingered through Felix's head about that one. What did it feel like to never wake up with a restarted day after dying? What did it feel like to close his eyes and enjoy the nothingness in his head after the last breath? Felix would never know for he had always woken up in his bed the same, eyes as wide as the Nile River. 

As a child, he had thought that the Gods gifted him immortality, however later on he had doubted that it had been a gift. It was more of like a trinket in life. Accidentally die? Just restart the day and make sure not to make the same mistake ever again. 

"Wow, you're awake and it's not even 12pm," Seungmin giggled after opening the door to their room, hands full of food-holding plates. The food was clearly made for Felix as a breakfast for it had strawberries and blueberries at the side which was symbolic for someone like him. 

"I was shuffling the deck," the icy blonde responded with a forced smile. "Want to get a read?"

"After you eat," he placed the plates on the desk, shoving the papers aside for it to look more aesthetically pleasing. 

Felix sat down and briefly started eating his oatmeal. Frankly, it wasn't because he was hungry, but because he wanted to read Minnie's weekly cards. If he could, he would read them to him every day, but it ruins the special feeling if it's done every single day. Plus, the cards weren't made to be read like that, if so, they could be read only once in a lifetime and perhaps have a better effect on mentality. 

Soon enough, he grabbed the empty plates and returned them back to the kitchen. Speaking of which, it was quite modest. The whole flat was quite modest, actually, because its primary purpose was to protect their heads during college, not give satisfaction. Felix didn't mind it one bit for he wasn't home most of the time, and when he was it was mostly for the purpose of sleeping. However, Seungmin did find it irritating when they would prepare homemade food as a duo. He hadn't had any space for himself to chop veggies and Felix could barely squish his shoulders to wash the dirty dishes. 

But change wasn't as option they had. And they both knew it. 

The blonde sat in front of the kitchen table and called Seungmin for his weekly read.

While he was reading he could feel himself get excited at the thought of knowing what his best friend deals with. It made him feel useful in a way. He started tapping his fingers impatiently on the table while his best friend dragged himself to sit at the opposite side of the table. Seungmin smiled at the excited blonde. "Shall we begin?"

Felix told him to focus on the cards for the accurate income, so he took a deep breath and placed his hands on the table.

"Would you like to shuffle it again?" Felix asked while offering him the deck.

"No, it's fine."

"You sure?"

Seungmin nodded and flashed a smile as Felix slid all of the cards in a long line for him to choose from. He knew he was supposed to tap three cards: past, present, future; and then wait for Felix to tell him the 'story'. He did so easily and glanced at him while cupping his own cheek. He was probably more happy to see Felix do what he loved so much rather than actually believe in the cards. He thought Felix was the cutest thing alive when he smiled, which he barely did nowadays, so it felt like a ray of joy hit him in the face while the other laughed and grinned.

Felix's lips kept curving upwards when he separated the special three from the rest of the deck and when he finally flipped them his cute smile disappeared in a second - like he wasn't satisfied with the results. A sharp, yet deep breath entered his lungs before he started speaking. 

"You need to speak up if you have a problem with something or someone," Felix tapped the reversed 'Strength' card, "Because you're definitely right about it."

Seungmin nodded without actually having the suggestion sink in. He thought Felix looked ten times more intriguing when being serious.

Felix's fingers then traveled to the other two cards: 'The Magician' and 'The High Priestess'. "But observe it first before speaking up to get a clearer idea about it. Don't mention it until you fully know what its cause is." 

"Do you think this might be about college?" 

"Nah, this is more personal. Maybe a friend or somebody you like," Felix pointed out as he frowned more to think about it. 

However, Seungmin thought the whole point deserved a lighthearted laugh. "You, Lixie?" 

"Well, do you think there's a problem about our friendship?" the blonde returned a cheekiest giggle. 

Oh, there were plenty of problems according to Seungmin. Felix coming home at 1 am and entering the flat like an intruder, without knocking nor a simple 'I am home!' was the major one. He remembered being scared to death once at 5 am because he thought Felix was driving the whole night, but he just happened to come early. God, he almost stabbed him with the kitchen knife that night.

Seungmin frankly didn't know why he had been doing so because he was positive Felix knew how easily he fell asleep. But of course he didn't want to point it out, especially now that the cards also said so.

"No, Lixie," he smiled, "Everything's alright."

"Ah, oka-" 

"I just wish you were home a bit more," his smile faded into just the curved corners of his lips. 

To this Felix didn't know how to respond. He knew what kind of a boss he had, always strict about the working hours, always 8 hours because he couldn't bother to hire more people to drive at night. And who could've thought taxi drivers had an exhausting job when it was basically sitting and turning the wheel? 

But, again, change wasn't an option he currently had. So complaining was pretty much pointless. 

"I'm sorry, Minnie. I couldn't have stayed in college - it was driving me nuts," he pouted a little. 

"No, I understand," Seungmin pouted as well while the blonde pushed a card in front of him. 

'Strength'. Felix was telling him to stay strong, as always.

He took the card in his own two fingers and analyzed it slightly. He thought the lady on the card petting a lion seemed very well designed and drawn. The lion actually seemed more of like a dog in that context, which he found funny because his favorite animal is a dog. He always wanted one as a kid, but never managed to persuade his parents into adopting one, let alone buying.

Seungmin's eyes lingered back to Felix, who had a rather troubled expression on his face as well as crossed arms. 

"What's wrong?" he asked in a cheerful tone to get the thoughts out of his head. 

Felix pressed his lips into a thin line and started gathering the cards and putting them back in one deck. "I don't know. I don't feel good about this..." 

"Good about what?" Seungmin's smile completely faded away. He was now suspicious if Felix actually told him the right reading since he had this tendency to hide the truth to avoid being judged or causing drama. 

"All of your three cards are from Major Arcana," he worried. "That means there's going to be a major change in your life."

"Maybe in a good way?"

"I don't want things to change, Minnie... I want to stay like this forever," Felix's face melted in sadness.

Seungmin's hand travelled to his friend's to hold it and reassure that everything was going to be okay in the end. It always was.

He squeezed twice to keep away the incoming melancholia, caressing Felix's caramel skin with his thumb.

And suddenly, he felt that only a handhold wasn't enough to keep Felix distracted, hence he stood up and approached the blonde. He didn't want to think about his shiny dark eyes and the sprinkled freckles on his cheeks, but he thought those were his charming points. Every time he had had to describe Felix to someone, he had always pointed out the myriad of freckles and pristine eyes. "Almost like he's crying," he added most of the time.

The icy blonde stared at him in confusion, until Seungmin lowered himself to share the chair and hug his friend dearly. Felix sighed loudly and almost deliberately, so the other could feel his breath full of worries against his neck.

"I'm sorry I overthink about the cards," Felix mumbled into Seungmin's hoodie when he felt his hands press harder onto his back.

"There's nothing to feel sorry about," Seungmin smiled, "Find your passion and let it kill you."

Felix thought about it for a moment before a shy smile appeared on his face. 

He did have a passion for reading everyone's future and being able to tell what kind of people they were because, frankly, his life wasn't as interesting as theirs. It's the same classic story - he had been bullied in high school because he was that one loner kid who always seemed unbothered by their comments and blabbering, but truly, he had been as fragile as everyone else. So he had hidden in the armor shell, waited for the hate to pass by and then over thought when he came back home. It had been a ride to hell and back, except for the back which was also hell, but just a mild form. 

However, Seungmin's words kept poking his brain in a way which irritated him. What if he truly has no passion and therefore keeps coming back alive? And what if Seungmin secretly knows about his immortal life-trinket? 

He pondered for a couple more seconds with his face buried in Seungmin's hoodie and then decided that over-thinking just ruins his health. 

Seungmin had an excuse to take a shower before his college hours started. Considering how fast he was when getting ready, his classes were probably starting in an hour and Felix had only 3 hours of free time before heading to work. 

...

Those 3 hours flew by in an instance.

He hadn’t been able to pick himself up from those ponders. And he had also wondered whether the bullying caused his anxiety to start peeking or it had been just his fragile mind from the day he had been born. 

He had started panicking an hour after Seungmin left for classes and had went out to the bathroom a couple of times to puke just because of the stupid pieces of nicely decorated paper. He had been terrified of change, of mere thoughts about Seungmin not being by his side for the rest of his life. He had thought about his first accountant with Minnie in high school to keep himself calm. And it had helped. 

He couldn’t recognize himself in the mirror from all the cold sweat and heavy eyelids, so he briefly turned the faucet and waited for the water to get ice cold. He then washed his face lightly slapped himself to stimulate the blood to run through and make him look less dead.

An hour later and he was ready to drive people to their desired locations in front of a club. What better location could he get other than an endless nest for teens and young adults like him? What better location to make him feel self-conscious and unsatisfied?

He watched the gleaming lights of various colors dance to the suppressed music. And it was only 4:26 in the afternoon.

Apart from the background music, Felix found himself overhearing the conversation of other three 'colleagues' of his - all elders, all men. Their way of bragging about success and healthy families was roiling tension in him. He didn't like the word family when Minnie was out of context, so he turned himself to lean on the taxi he was driving. It was somewhat rusty and not-so-clean, but it was acceptable. The yellow paint was deliberately made to be more neon so people could spot it better and, therefore, give them more profit. It also had a number on the top - four. 

Felix wanted to fall asleep badly from how boring the waiting part is, but he was pulled out of it by an approaching man. 

"You working?" the man spoke openly. He had deep hazelnut-colored hair, all dressed in black - pants, t-shirt and sneakers. His neck and upper chest were decorated by a couple of necklaces, one of which was a chain and the other was of feminine silver. All about his face was sharp while he was a few centimetres shorter than Felix. 

"Yes, sir," responded the blonde. He wasn’t sure whether the man was seriously pissed off or it was just his facial features that made him look intimidating, so the term ‘sir’ seemed the most appropriate for the circumstance.

Felix opened the door and sat to his place while the passenger chose the farthest possible seat. “Where to, sir?” he kept the conversation simple.

“District 9.”

“Excuse me?” Felix turned around with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

The man sighed and pulled up his phone to show him the location, which Felix knew well enough to drive off to. He knew that that area was drug friendly – plenty of deals going back and forth every day – and he didn’t feel comfortable one bit to enter it.

He looked at the brunette in a concerned manner.

The man narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“Are you sure that’s the right location, sir?”

“Absolutely,” he flashed a smile which brought chills to Felix’s spine. 

He felt utterly unsafe now with the man in his backseat to the extent where he started imagining various scenarios at the back of his car. Something akin to the man pulling a gun to his head or, even worse, a knife to his throat to drive him to the location without paying.

“How long will the ride be?” the brunette asked, merely for the sake of breaking the silence. 

Felix felt the sweat drip from the side of his face. “Roughly 15 minutes, sir.”

“Perfect.”

Felix was midway through the route and he most certainly couldn’t stop getting frightened every time the other moved to readjust himself. If Seungmin was with him, we would’ve told him that he’s over exaggerating. But Felix knew he wasn’t. He knew the man was either a seller or a buyer for he called the area ‘District nine’. Nobody called it ‘District nine’ except for the acquaintances. So, maybe speaking up and covering his uneasiness was the best way to save himself from getting killed. “How was your day, sir?”

He thought for a brief moment while glancing through the window, “I would say well, but I’m not at finished with work to call it a day.”

“Oh, excuse me, I lost track of time,” apologized Felix. “I’m not sure if anyone can call it a day at 5 in the afternoon.”

“I’m sure they can, although they must be really fortunate to do so.”

Maybe after sharing a few sentences he didn’t seem as intriguing as he was at first glance.

“Very, very fortunate,” Felix whispered under his breath, loud enough for the man to hear him.

The man smirked at him, “You seem a bit young do be a taxi driver, kid.”

Felix grimaced at the nickname. He might look younger than his age because of his soft features, but it certainly wasn’t a reason to call him ‘kid’. “Life led me to it, sir.”

“How so?”

“College shook me hard, so I had to drop out. Money became a problem and this was the first job I got,” Felix faked a smile to the brunette’s reflection in the rear-view mirror.

“What major?”

“Psychology.”

He nodded in respect, “So you understand emotions well, don’t you?”

“No, sir. That’s why I dropped out.”

The man smiled to himself from his witty response, mostly because only he thought it was witty since Felix thought it was painfully sad to both him and his poor parents whom he never managed to satisfy.  
The day he had told them had probably been the most heartbreaking moment of his life for he had never expected them to act that way. They had completely painted the whole kitchen in broken porcelain and tears, or at least his mother did. The screams and crying had been the most traumatizing part, her exclamations that her son was a failure with no future and no morals. As well as his dad’s yelling and endless lessons on life, telling him how he was never going to find a wife and have future because no one would ever want to marry a man with no education, money nor job. 

Poor Felix didn’t need a psychology diploma to tell apart their mentality from a healthy one. He only needed support which he only got from Minnie. However, he knew Minnie could never empathize on a higher level for he was born in a happy, wealthy family. He spoke for himself and protected others along the way, his words oftentimes felt like a lullaby compared to Felix’s parents’. And Felix admired the idea of him being a lawyer, but only when protecting the innocent ones. He just couldn’t imagine Minnie speaking up for a criminal.

“You okay, kid?”

Felix was pushed out of his thoughts in mere seconds, realizing that his hands were drastically shaking. “Yes, yes, I’m fine sir. We are almost there.”

The man kept silent after his affirmation, his dark eyes were tracking their surroundings as they passed by. Felix appreciated the man for being considerate and not seeking the truth of untouched waters.  
Felix killed the engine a couple of minutes later and took a sharp intake of breath before glancing at the count screen. “12,600 ₩, sir,” he said calmly.

The man opened his wallet and properly handed him the money, all in hasty movements. Then, the man just simply opened the door and started walking away, greeting him beforehand. 

Felix couldn’t wait for the man to turn around the nearest corner and vanish because he couldn’t pick himself up for the sake of god. His fingers’ movements were now reminiscent of sea algae during storms – they couldn’t become stiff and calm. The air kept getting stuck in his throat over and over before every inhale and he didn’t know how to calm down. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned his studies for they often led to him thinking about his mom and dad. Nonetheless, he would’ve thought about them even if he lied to the man, hence his panic was clearly inevitable.

This wasn’t the first time Felix was hyperventilating. He had taught himself to focus on something else and calm himself down for the sake of staying useful for the jobs and dodging the chances of Seungmin finding out and worrying. So he started glancing around that neighborhood of so-called ‘District 9’.

I was frankly dead – lack of greens and noise, other than his own stuttering breath and the wind, made him think this was a horror movie scenery. No one was even walking down the narrow streets and little-to-know cars were parked in front of the houses. Was that really the drug-dealing area or had Felix mistaken himself?

His breathing managed to pick up a normal pace and he partly felt proud of for knowing how to help his own self. He sensed improvement in this and decided it was the time to start driving back.

Right as Felix was about to turn the car keys, he saw a figure – all in black, again. This time it wasn’t the man he had just finished driving, but rather a different man with black hair and dark blue undertone to it. He was eerily paler than the other one and had somewhat softer features on his face. And he was rising his hand in a stop sign for Felix to wait for him.

Oh boy, he wished he had started driving on the man. Another druggie in the car and Felix might start calling himself a dealer too from how much drugs he’s been trafficking today.  
Before he could realize it, the man was knocking on the window of his passenger seat, so he waited until it rolled halfway down. 

“Are you perhaps going back to the center?” the stranger’s face remained the same, but Felix was able to analyze it a tad better up close. He was looking tired, really tired and his lips seemed plumper when they were loose and free from speaking. 

“Uh… yes, sir,” Felix mumbled. As much as he had wanted to say no, he couldn’t reject customers. Besides that, they oftentimes left him the change.

The man sat on the passenger seat rather than the backseat, which Felix thought was unusual and 10 times more uncomfortable now that a potential drug dealer was just a few centimetres of his right. “Where to, sir?”

“Chevalier Club,” he raised an eyebrow and gave Felix a long smile.

“A-alright,” Felix broke the eye contact, but he felt the other man still looking at him which gave him more paranoid shivers. His passenger looked rather comfortable in a car that was not even his – his legs were spread wide and he didn’t bother to fasten his seat-belt.

Felix wanted to admonish him, however, his intuition kept telling him to keep it shut because this man seemed a lot crazier and fuller of himself than the previous one. 

The engine purred after Felix arched his keys, hoping that his shaking hands weren’t as visible as they appeared to himself. Taking a deep breath was almost impossible if he wanted to stay unbothered – which he sincerely did with all his brainpower. 

“Why are you so scared, huh?” the man shook his head and chuckled as he turned to look upfront.

Felix cleaned his throat, “I-I’m not scared, the weather is just… uh… hot.”

“Hot?” he chuckled again and swung his arm in a conversational way which made Felix glance at it. He felt another drip of sweat roll down his forehead when he realized how much the man’s hands were muscly and veiny. Now he only thought about saying one wrong word and how his jaw would get broken if he did so in a matter of seconds.

“Just so you know, I don’t deal drugs,” he hummed. “At least not to the people who don’t pay for them.”

Felix took a loud gulp, “I didn’t assume anything, sir.”

“What’s your name?”

“Uh… Felix.”

“Felix,” he turned around again. “Do me a favor and stop lying to my fucking face.”

The blonde’s pale face now rivaled his customer’s. He would have crashed if he looked him straight in the eyes, but now his heart was just occasionally skipping a few beats.

“So, why are you so scared when you have nothing to do with me and my job?”

Felix wished he could just open the door and jump out of the car from how scared he felt, although his body didn’t react as badly as to the other stuff that was not as scary as this. God, the story about his parents felt like a lullaby compared to this. “I don’t know, sir.”

“Err, wrong answer,” the man mimicked the wrong buzzer noise. “Try again.”

“I sincerely do not know, sir,” he repeated once again, this time a bit more slowly.

The man left a brief chuckle wander in the air. Felix was wondering whether he should’ve answered because his customer was now far more angry than satisfied. He thought that should have been the end of the conversation, however his lips started speaking on their own just a hasty moment after the man cracked his knuckles. “Because you come from this area, sir,” he uttered.

“I’m not even surprised,” his eyebrows raised however, same as the corners of his lips. “I’m grateful for your feedback,” he smiled. “It helps us prevent being caught.”

Felix’s thoughts were all over the place when he wondered whether he should stay quiet and make this man even madder or chat with his to keep his mind away from threats and ideas. God, the instructions of his mother were roiling back to his brain – how it’s the best to build friendships based on empathy so the kidnappers wouldn’t just coldly kill him. But that was just a lesson that applied if he was in such crappy situation.

“Must be tough to worry about how you appear to the outer world, sir.”

“It is,” the brunette sighed. “But I can’t tell the same for you. You love attention, don’t you?”

Felix scowled to his comment. “I hate it.”

“Why’d you dye your hair blonde then?” he mirrored his grimace.

He had never associated dyed hair with a dire need for attention. Hair was just like an accessory to him - wear it and make it look pretty. Frankly, he enjoyed seeming a bit different to other people when they looked at him. "Uh, I guess I wanted to look different from other people." 

The man nodded slightly. "You've been badly hurt before?" he quit having amusement spread all over his face. 

"Just a little bit," said Felix. 

"I can tell. You seem like you pay a lot of attention to what you say," the man smiled. "You'd make a perfect tutor." 

"I've got nothing to teach, sir. I've never been good in anything particularly." 

"Oh, I'm sure you do," his customer's eyes traced the passing environment. He didn't seem arrogant and fun anymore. "Everyone does. And I'm sure you do too." 

Felix suddenly got this urge to say 'thank you', although there was surely nothing to thank the man for. He was just speaking facts, but they seemed like mental support to Felix. A complete stranger was sure he was good at something. Actually, he didn't feel like a stranger anymore. He felt like an acquaintance now, even though he was probably carrying a ton of drugs on himself right now and Felix hated the thought of it. 

He quickly smiled to himself instead of speaking up and the man did so too. 

Silence never felt more calming to them. Felix had no need to break it and keep himself comfortable. He rather enjoyed hearing his passenger randomly start humming and tapping his fingers to the rhythm on the armrest. 

In little but no time, they were back to the club. The man saw the price on the counter himself and refused to take the change. 4500 ₩ wasn't a fortune but Felix often thought people left him the change when they liked him and enjoyed him as a person. Apart from one of his occasional customers - Hyunjin. That guy was to rich and busy to take it. 

"Till when are you working?" asked his new acquaintance. 

"Midnight, sir." 

"I'll see you later then," he flashed a smile before turning around and walking to the club entrance. 

However, Felix didn't really know if he wanted to see the man later. Maybe he took a liking to him, but that didn't mean he was supposed to become friends with a dealer. No, Felix didn't need any more drama in his life. 

…

Admiring his Tarot cards was the only amusement Felix could find at his work. Most of his colleagues were dowsing off in their cars while he was getting prepared to leave 10 minutes early today. He leaned on the door of his car and randomly pulled cards from his deck for his colleagues without their consent. Maybe it was unfair, but wasn't everything in life unfair?

"Hojun, sir," called Felix. "I'm leaving." He pushed all of the cards back into the deck. 

"Already? It's only 11:45 pm," his comrade mentioned. 

"My turn to leave early today." 

Felix didn't want to seem rude talking to the older man who was happily married and had two daughters waiting for him home. Apart from that, Hojun was always nice to him comparing to other stressed men his age. He greeted him every day, never raised a tone when he got angry, refused to argue with other people and preferred calling fights disagreements. Truly, to be around him felt like being around nothing. And Felix gladly appreciated his comrade's sense of personal space.

"Go rest, kid." 

"Thank you, sir!" 

Right when he was about to start walking home, a familiar figure was getting close to him step by step. He noticed that the man was wearing all black, once again, and he immediately thought of his last accountant with Mr. Crazy. 

"Going home so early?" he recognized the voice. It, indeed, was the man from before - the one who looked friendlier but seemed mad from the way he talked. 

"It's not that early, sir."

"No? I thought you'd wait to give me another drive," the man raised his brow and effortlessly sat onto the passenger seat. So far, he's never failed to make himself overly comfortable around strangers and their cars. 

The bags under his eyes were slightly tinted purple and his voice had an odd exhausting echo to it. He sure overworked himself.

“Where to, sir?” asked Felix for the millionth time today and sat on the driver seat.

“Main parking lot at Mapo-gu,” the man sighed.

“Not going home?” Felix asked quite surprised. It was almost 12 am and this man was still working, which he found quite sad and tiring. He could relate to the man with all his heart for how much he worked himself every day. Seeing other people struggle wasn’t Felix’s favorite.

“Do I look like the type to go home this early?” his voice kept echoing tiredly.

Without any more questions Felix started driving slowly. He didn’t really have a need to rush because he wasn’t scared of the man anymore. If his friend in black had a need to kill him, he would have done it the first time they met.

Felix kept himself relaxed until he realized that his customer had grabbed his Tarot cards to examine them throughout the ride. Again, he wanted to admonish him not to take what isn’t his, but it seemed like such a hard job to open his own mouth.

“You read this shit?” the man sneered.

“I do, sir. Just as a hobby, though.”

“You couldn’t have found a less bullshitting hobby?”

“It’s actually quite useful, sir,” corrected Felix. He felt utterly uncomfortable with the man spitting lies on something dear to his heart.

“Yeah, yeah,” he laughed. “Are you, perhaps, going to tell me how my day went and how much money I’ll earn tomorrow? Or maybe when I’ll get married and have children?”

“No,” Felix admitted. “But I can tell what’s going to happen in your near future.”

He man left out an awful laugh, clearly mocking Felix’s intentions. “Oh, please tell me!” he added dramatically.

Felix cleared his throat, ready to show his customer that these were not just nicely painted pieces of paper, but a product of greater force. He took the deck from the man and shuffled it with only one hand, mostly to show off his skills which he secreted from everyone else. It surely wasn’t easy to mix it, but Felix was proud of himself for making it seem effortless.

“Take three cards and flip them around one by one.”

The man took them with a disgusting grin glued to his face. He flipped them around. “Like this?”

“Yes, but don’t turn them around, sir. They have different meanings if they’re upside down,” Felix calmly claimed.

The first card that his customer lifted up to his face was an upside-down ‘Emperor’. Felix narrowed his eyes and quickly glanced at the man before focusing back on the road.

“You are very powerful, sir,” he pointed out. “But you lack discipline.”

The other man was now the one who examined the card. “I actually think I’m very, very well disciplined.”

Felix smirked again. “The cards say otherwise,” he shrugged. 

His customer laughed a little and shrugged as well.

“You also like being the one in control, maybe even too much,” Felix grabbed the single card back and stuffed it back into the deck. “You’d make a perfect leader.”

“Oh,” he felt a heavy arm fall on his shoulder. “I’m sure I would.”

The next card he showed was ‘Eight of Swords’ – a beautiful woman with a blindfold on, surrounded by swords.

Felix nodded firmly. “Are you an air sign, sir?”

“What does that mean?”

“Are you a Libra, a Gemini or an Aquarius?”

The man frowned and shook his head. “I don’t know. How Am I supposed to know that?”

“When were you born?” asked Felix.

“October 3rd, 1997.”

Felix thought the man looked older than his age, definitely. “You’re a Libra, sir. That’s an air sign,” he explained. “And although you are not disciplined, you tend to go harsh on yourself and drown in negative thoughts a lot.”

“Yeah, right,” the man doubted. “Like you couldn’t have just made that up.”

Felix felt his blood boil because he just nailed his Zodiac sign and the man didn’t even realize it and even accused him of making that up. But what could he do to prove it? They call it cheating, Felix calls it skill.

“I didn’t, sir. That’s what the cards say.”

“Well, fuck your cards,” he shoved the third and the final card into Felix’s chest before even looking at it himself.

And maybe it was for the better since the last card was the worst one as well. It was Felix’s favorite card.

‘Death’.

Speaking about this card and what Felix saw in it was most certainly just for Felix’s ears. He saw real death inside of it which made him stiffen up. In little but no time, his breathing got heavier and dryer as well. He didn’t know how to caution the man without scaring him, but he also didn’t know how to keep such an information inside his own brain without panicking.  
“Uh, do you have any fears, s-sir?”

The man’s smile was long lost and replaced by a frown and crossed arms in front of his chest. “No.”

“Fear of dying maybe?”

The man gave him a death glare. As scary as he seemed, Felix saw him actually get frightened just a second before he asked him the last question. He was positive the man was scared of dying.  
“No, I’m not the one that fears,” he corrected. “They fear me.”

Felix tapped his shoulder a couple of times. “It’s alright. We are all scared of something, sir.”

“Shut up.”

Felix did so since there was no point in talking the man into something he doesn’t believe in, let alone despises.

His customer was now very, very bothered next to him and he had no idea how to change the atmosphere for good. Maybe leaving it was the best choice he could’ve made today, however he was too empathic for the man’s frantic personality – he couldn’t let it end there.

“I apologize for making you mad, sir,” he spoke up quietly.

Felix only heard a long sigh and random taps on the hand rest.

It didn’t matter anyways because they were already at the desired location and the man didn’t care one single bit for his apology, but rather getting away. Felix eyed him open the door and rigorously slam it back in a confident motion.

Yeah, the man was definitely a sly type of leader which Felix deducted just by his manipulative personality. He managed to flip the situation to his hand and make Felix feel like he horribly wronged when he was the only one in charge for ridiculous acting. 

Felix shook it off and was prepared to head home when he heard a completely unfamiliar voice yell from the outside.

“Ah, the one and only Bang Chan is here for the run! You got old, homie!”

Felix eyed the situation through his car’s window. His customer was approaching a group of younger men – three to be exact. Two of them had their face covered with a medical mask and the speaking one was smoking classic cigarettes. They were all dressed in black and had either beanies or caps on their heads. The guy who spoke had a blue bandanna tied around his upper arm in a tight perplexity and Felix thought it might be a gang symbol or something akin to that.

The man who was sitting next to him just a few seconds ago, was allegedly named Bang Chan and he had his jaw firmly clenched in place while getting closer to them.

“Money,” said Chan.

“Wow, you’re not gonna greet me?”

Chan chuckled amused and pulled out two envelopes out of his backpack while the other man pulled out one and they exchanged briefly. Felix thought that was gonna be the end of it and so did the three men, but Chan ripped out the envelope open without dropping the gaze. 

“Everything is secured and certain, Chan. You don’t have to double check,” the man laughed. “Besides that, I don’t have time to deal with your shit-gang.”

Chan pulled out a hefty amount of money out of the envelope and went through it.

“100,000 ₩,” Chan called. “Where’s the rest?”

“There’s no rest, friend. You said 200,000-“

“I didn’t say shit, we agreed on 300,000. Where’s the last third?” Chan raised his voice.

The man shrugged playfully. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Chan boomed. “Quit fucking around and give me the fucking money.”

“That’s all I’ve got, friend.”

Felix was certain that would’ve been the end of it, but his thoughts were shortly claimed wrong when he heard something akin to an apple being cracked. His tongue went numb when he realized that his customer knocked dead one of the men out and then he was positive it was the man’s jaw rather than an apple.

He quickly got out of the car to check if the man was okay. However, he regretted it the exact second Chan spotted him.

“Get the fuck away!” Chan yelled at Felix and gestured him to hastily go inside again.

But it was too late for Felix to do anything.

His pupils shrunk to barely visible dots when he realized that his brunette acquaintance dropped unconscious on the dirty ground after getting smacked across the head with a baseball bat. He wanted to rush over to Chan and ask him if he’s okay, but he stood frozen on the spot – unable to neither speak nor think of what to do.

He thought that was the end of it, but the two other men thought otherwise. They planted two more rib-cracking hits to his chest, frankly to make sure he isn’t coming back up. 

Chan didn’t yelp, hiss nor scream, but rather lied long lost on the ground while blood poured from the back of his head and tinted it a scarlet shine. He searched for his fingers and waited for them to twitch, but nothing seemed to move apart from the mild curls of his brunette hair. 

It got windy and gloomy all of a sudden and the other two men clearly didn’t care about his dead body on the floor when they were picking up their comrade’s. It was just a slightly extraordinary day to them.

When one of them stood up and picked up a knife to approach Felix, his guts swirled and tied into his stomach. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t beg for mercy and that’s all it took for him to fall on his knees and soak his jeans in the same scarlet liquid, just his own this time. 

Shortly, his vision got patchy and he knew it would take approximately 30 seconds for him to completely black out and die, hence he looked around and examined the men’s faces better – knowing that he’d meet them again today.

Just through a completely different story.


	2. Chan

Ah, a headache - Chan's biggest, yet most irritating companion through the years. 

He woke up quite unwilling and unmotivated to cooperate with other, although that was the most important part of his job. No sun shined through the petite windows of his monotonic room and he was partly glad for it. He hated being woken up by the blinding light from the outside, but he enjoyed realizing it's another day, another potential to have fun and probably ruin someone's life along the way. 

Chan moved his hand, feeling the bed and trying to understand what's around him during these early hours. To his surprise, he found nothing rather than some extra pillows and an additional blanket to his side. He knew well Minho sneaked into his bed while he was asleep and spent the night there, just for the sake of being in Chan's presence. Minho liked the warmth and attention, even though Chan could provide him none due to being overly busy and also a cold-hearted asshole, but that still didn't stop Minho from finding Chan and clinging onto him. 

Frankly, Chan didn't mind it as long as it did no harm to his job and ego. 

He slipped into one of his relatively new shorts and headed into the kitchen to find who is still in the house and who is long gone for the work. Apparently, the only person he found was Changbin - his loyal accomplice throughout the years of being the head of this district's drug deals. 

Being at such position, Chan needed way more than just two arms to keep himself from getting injured, and Changbin seemed like a perfect right-hand to do so. Most of his mass was from muscles and all of the fats he consumed seemed to go to his brain for he was not just a well-trained goon, but also a quick-witted mind. Definitely not as good as Chan himself, but their intelligence rivaled most of the time. 

"Good morning, Chan," Changbin said casually. "Are you ready for today?" 

"Do I look like I'm ready?" Chan pointed at his bare chest, constructed from mere muscles and decorated by a simple tattoo - a skull. It was planted a bit under his collarbone in black ink and it looked fresh, even though he got it almost 8 years ago when he started joining the chaotic gangs. 

"No, sir," Changbin responded confidently. "But we have plenty of work today at Chevalier's." 

Chan sat on a chair opposite of his companion. He didn't feel like having breakfast because he knew it wasn't prepared by Minho. Those breakfasts were genuinely delicious to both his eyes and tongue, but it was such a shame only he knew how to prepare a perfect omelet and toast the bread just enough for it to be crunchy on the outside, but impeccably soft on the inside. 

"What business at Chevalier?" Chan asked while he leaned back on the chair. 

"Kim said that he was free today and you could get him the order around midnight." 

Chan scowled. "We don't deal with 'arounds' at this fucking district. Tell him to either keep to the plan or set a specific time for the deal. Nobody's got time for his fucking games." 

Changbin nodded obediently. "When, sir?" 

"Be at the club at 4 and don't take more than 20 minutes, understand?" 

Changbin nodded again and proceeded to turn around and leave. 

Although Chan loved being alone from the bottom of his heart, he really needed someone this morning to keep him company while arranging statistics from this week's work. He needed a voice to listen to that would keep him calm and relaxed prior to getting annoyed by the little things and he knew just the right person to do so. 

"Changbin," he called. "Could you call Minho for me?" 

His right-hand turned around in surprise. "Minho is currently working in the lab with Jisung new attributes, sir."

"New attributes? You found them already?" Chan said out of disbelief. 

"I did, but on the streets though. They've pretty much got nothing to lose." 

Just the way Chan wanted new members of his gang to be - vulnerable and deathly loyal. "Well done. Now, send Minho here and tell him it's important."

"Yes, sir." 

Changbin politely closed the door behind himself after heading to scout for Minho.

For the first time in months, Chan excused his work to have a few minutes alone in the immense kitchen they had. The room was built to match their house, hence everyone who lived there could fit into in for a quick family dinner, which they barely even had.

Chan also didn’t consider anyone here family. They were just his partners and henchmen, including Changbin, although he was the closest of what Chan deemed as a brother. The man was young enough for Chan to have authority over his decisions and beliefs. He was a perfect cookie that Chan could mold to his own liking. The way Changbin obeyed everything he said made him satisfied and, more importantly, safe around the younger boy to the extent where he could sleep in the same room as him without any weapon to protect himself.

That’s how much he trusted him.

Minho was a different topic to be talked about. He didn’t listen to Chan, he talked back, laughed when he wasn’t supposed to, didn’t knock on doors and took stuff without permission. 

Of course, those weren’t everyday cases, however if they were Chan probably wouldn’t do shit about them. Something about the way he talked was very precious to him, but he had always refused to acknowledge it.

Minho and Changbin’s personalities were very opposing, but mesmerizing to Chan for he could never find a boy who obeyed him more than Changbin and a boy who listened less than Minho. And he protected both of them.

His train of thoughts was quickly disturbed by someone entering the room - Minho. The man had gingerly tinted hair and a childish pout on his lips. His body was wrapped around a lab robe that prevented his clothes from getting ruined by chemicals and also kept his skin untouched in case he used any acidic products.

“Hey, baby,” Chan looked over to the man, a mischievous smile spreading across his face. “Did I disturb you?”

“You always do,” Minho sighed and glanced at Chan’s half-naked body. He didn’t find it weird to see him walking around the house without a shirt for he was always surrounded by people he well knew. “I was in the middle of scaring the new members away.”

“Why would you scare them away? We want them here, not running away,” Minho approached him and sat on the chair where Changbin was previously sitting on.

Minho finally smiled after scowling for two solid minutes. “I was telling them about you, Chan.”

“Oh is that so?” a wide grin spread across Chan’s face as he heard the words. The fact that he enjoyed knowing people were scared of him made him feel far more powerful. Oh, the anticipation was building inside his guts as he imagined seeing their faces while he walked into the lab – the infamous Bang Chan right before their feet.

Minho sniggered to himself. “Apparently, they hate you.”

“Frankly, I hate myself too, baby.”

“But you love me,” Minho smirked and leaned back on the chair.

Chan refused to open his mouth to that and instead just walked across the room to grab some documents he was apparently supposed to check before meeting with Changbin again. He sat back again and tapped his thighs prior to hovering over the papers. “Come,” he called Minho. “Tell me a story.”

“What are you? Seven?”

“Unfortunately not,” he smiled and tapped his left thigh again.

This time Minho stood up with the amused smirk on his lips and came to Chan’s embrace with no hesitation. He circled his arm around him and brought his face closer to his head. Chan’s hand grabbed a pen along the way and started subconsciously checking and signing where it was needed.

“Once upon a time,” Chan indicated Minho to start speaking.

“Once upon a time, a very pretty baby boy was born in a surprisingly wealthy family,” he almost sang the story. “He always had everything he wanted – healthy body and mind, great school marks, a good father to look up to, a nurturing mother to take care of him.”

Although it was hard for Chan to multitask by listening and working, he never got distracted from Minho’s stories and listened to them until the end.

“However,” Minho’s voice gloomed. “He lost it all by a simple mistake he made when he was little. He started hanging out with boys who were older than him, who influenced him to start smoking and become interested in things he shouldn’t.”

“Like?” Chan asked.

“Like drugs and alcohol,” Minho added. “Soon, his acts began to affect his family along the way. His mother thought his father was the one to smell like cigarettes, and his father thought the same about his mother. They argued every single day and the boy had no courage to confront them.”

Chan’s eyes traveled to find Minho’s, and then he frowned and pressed his lips into a thin line. “And?”

“And they got divorced. The boy who used to have everything was now left alone to be forgotten about. And nobody cared about him anymore,” Minho brushed Chan’s cheek. “The end.”

This one left Chan angry with the end. His hand was tightly clenched around Minho’s wrist, more with the intention to hurt him rather than care for him. His face was furious, too – jaw clenched and eyes piercing through his friend’s.

“What’s wrong, Chan? You don’t like the story?” he smiled rather amusingly, although his hand was starting to turn bluish from circulation stoppage.

“When I asked for a story, I meant a fucking fairy-tale! Not something inspired by my personal life, for fuck’s sake!”

Minho giggled and brushed Chan’s hair away from his face with his free hand. “How am I supposed to know that, Chan?” he said calmly.

The more Chan tightened his hand, the more Minho gently caressed his face. It was driving him insane, so he just let go.

“Don’t bring this stuff ever again or, I swear, I’ll butcher you up and sell your organs.”

“No,” Minho corrected. “You’ll keep them to yourself, Chan. Because it makes you feel powerful, remember?”

“And it makes you dead, so who’s the winner here?”

“There’s no winners with me dead and you unhappy,” Minho circled his arm back like nothing happened.

Chan’s face finally relaxed and turned into a small smile. “That’s true. But don’t tell me stories like that again. Now go and continue scaring the children,” he pushed Minho from his lap and gestured him to leave.

“No,” he refused and sat back. “Who the fuck hangs out for just 10 minutes?”

Chan chuckled to himself and grabbed his pencil back to continue on with signing. Neither of them knew why he was signing the papers when nobody values them in the first place. They liked to trust words more than letters.

Minho sighed and leaned his head back to Chan’s, so his cheek was touching his temple. “Is that for Kim?” he hummed tiredly.

“Yeah,” Chan didn’t bother to part his eyes from papers.

“Can you remind me once more why Kim would ask for our drugs? His requirements don’t match our prices,” Minho hissed. “Last time he was 30,000 ₩ short on payments and you refused to care. Why?”

Chan smirked and looked at his dark brown eyes. He found it a bit amusing to see Minho interested in this business when he was just a lab worker for their gang. Yes, Minho was a chief chemist, but not a leader. And he shouldn’t heed in something he wasn’t a master at.

“Why?” Chan thought about it too. “Because nobody likes Kim and we are the only ones left who he could profit from. Their district might be full of goons, but it takes intelligence to win, you know,” now he was the one brushing Minho’s hair away. “I’m tripling the prices because I know he has no other choice than us. And if he doesn’t pay-“

“We start a war.”

“We start a war,” Chan repeated. “Atta boy.”

Minho brushed his face into Chan’s hair after that compliment. He was feeling proud of himself because Chan almost never encouraged him, but when he did, it felt like he was on cloud nine. He’d start acting like a cat and clinging onto Chan whenever he felt so, and Chan enjoyed having Minho like that not because he liked seeing him being happy, but rather because he felt in control.

When you come to think about it, all of the things Chan did was to make him feel powerful and manipulating. If they didn’t, they clearly didn’t belong here, let alone to Chan.

“When are you gonna be done?” Minho whined and left a burning mark from his peck onto Chan’s temple. His lips brushed a couple more times against his skin before he leaned back to look at him.

“Not soon, baby,” he looked completely unaffected from Minho’s charms – his eyes were still on the papers and his hand was holding onto the pen like nothing happened.

A whine escaped Minho’s lips once again. “How can I know when ‘not soon’ is when I don’t even know when ‘soon’ is?”

“I would’ve told you if I knew myself,” now he was really pushing Minho off of his lap. “Come to me when you’re done with your work and I’ll free myself for some time, understand?”

“But there’s too-“

“Do you understand, baby?”

Minho’s eyes pierced through Chan’s head for he wasn’t even looking back at him at this point. Those methods Chan used to get him going. Attention and empathy was what Minho needed to be close to somebody, and when Chan refused to show him any he had no requirements to stay. Thus he left without a single word and eyes filled with despair and loneliness.

…

The last 5 hours Chan spent with little to no breaks. His eyes were bloody from reading and his lips were dry from silence. He refused to stand up and drink a glass of water, although he knew Changbin was about to be here in a matter of minutes.

The first time his eyes fixated on something else other than papers was when he heard a short buzz from his phone – a message. His hand quickly hovered over it and brought it to his face.  
Changbin 16:44, he read.

“Kim wants you at Chevalier around 5. Says he’s made up his mind.”

Chan scowled at the message and started writing hastily.

“’Around’ and ‘made up his mind’ don’t go together. Tell him that I’m busy at 5.”

He dropped it back on the table only to grab it back when he heard another buzz.

“Can’t, sir. I’m in a taxi, 5 minutes from here.”

Incredulity was getting to Chan and he found it hard to believe of how luck just wasn’t on his side throughout his whole life. He wanted to break something prior to leaving, but that’d leave Minho terribly scared when he comes back home.

Soon enough, he left the house and began jogging to the closest park – where most taxi drivers considered a final destination. Right as he took a swerve to the left, he spotted Changbin walking towards him with a serious expression on his face. His hands were in his pockets, however Chan didn’t mind it one bit because it was just Changbin after all. He had no intentions of harming the leader.

When they passed next to each other, Changbin pulled Chan’s shirt and brought his face closer to leader’s so he could whisper something.

“Taxi next turn to the left,” they parted their own ways.

Changbin was indicating him to catch the closest taxi so he didn’t be late for the meeting with Kim. And he was extremely helpful by it.

Chan was approached the taxi when he found a timid boy, rather than an old man, sitting at the driving seat. His hair was toned blonde and he had beautiful brown eyes pierced to something through the window. 

The boy was about to turn on the car when their eyes met for the first time, Chan’s somewhat glad and driver’s somewhat disappointed. Chan didn’t want him leaving so he raised an arm to initiate that he’s willing to have a ride. However, the boy sat frozen, eyes glued to him.

As Chan came to the car, he knocked on the window to get driver’s attention for he seemed quite lost in his thoughts. “Are you perhaps going back to the center?” he asked.

The moment he answered, Chan knew he was scared. Very, very scared of him. And it brought pleasure to his chest with every stutter he made. “Uh… yes, sir.”

Oh, all of the potential satisfaction Chan wished to have was coming to his conscience and he finally decided to sit next to the driver. A smile urged to peek his lips, but he needed to hear the driver’s voice one more time.

“Where to, sir?” he spoke.

“Chevalier Club,” Chan couldn’t help but smile.

“A-alright…” the scaredy-cat stuttered and began driving. But Chan didn’t bother to look anywhere else apart from his face. He examined his features with great wariness and couldn’t stop wondering whether he was extremely scared or just obnoxiously introverted. The boy’s hair was actually the final point of determination for it was dyed blonde which meant he was seeking attention of some kind.

Chan didn’t bother to keep his manners because he knew the blonde was too afraid to tell him anything, and he knew exactly why he was acting that way. He just wanted some fun for himself.

“Why are you so scared, huh?” Chan asked prior to chuckling.

The boy seemed extremely uncomfortable all of a sudden. “I-I’m not scared, the weather is just… uh… hot.”

“Hot?” Chan chuckled again.

He was well aware of the fact that he comes from this district and he was even better aware of how this blonde was trying to avoid answering it. His eyes even moved to glance at Chan and he didn’t seem dare to look at him again.

“Just so you know, I don’t deal drugs,” Chan hummed. “At least not to the people who don’t pay for them.”

“I didn’t assume anything, sir,” he gulped.

And he clearly did assume a lot of things, which were mostly true.

“What’s your name?”

“Uh… Felix.”

Beautiful name, Chan thought.

“Felix,” he resisted a smile. “Do me a favor and stop lying to my fucking face,” Chan turned around. “Why are you so scared when you have nothing to do with me and my job?”

He watched Felix with intention to soak pleasure, but he didn’t. He just sat there with no expression to his face which took Chan by surprise. 

“Because you deal drugs, sir.” he finally opened his mouth. “Lots of them.”

“So?”

“So I can’t trust your sanity,” Felix explained calmly. Now Chan was the one with no words left. He didn’t expect him to answer so honestly this early into his games.

“But you trusted me enough to let me sit next to you?”

Felix shook his head. “I had to, sir. Your future seems dim,” his voice darkened.

“Dim?” Chan scoffed and leaned his head back. “You sound like a clairvoyant.”

Felix flashed a quick smile to him which he utterly hated. He hates seeing anyone except Minho smile and take satisfaction from Chan. It should always be the other way around.

Felix grabbed Chan’s hand and turned it to take a quick look at his palm. Chan hated that too. Any other hands than Minho’s seemed forbidden to his brain.

“Death?”

Chan looked at him confused. “Are you scared of death?”

The question sent shivers down Chan’s spine. Yes. He hated suffering, and therefore, he hated death. The mere thought of feeling pain and being under his enemies or allies brought revulsion to his guts.

If Chan came to think about it – he hated more than he loved.

And he loved that because his mom didn’t raise a softie.

“I’m not scared of death,” he spoke. “Death is scared of me.”

Felix smiled to his announce. “I’d suggest avoiding today’s job.”

“And who are you to suggest?” Chan boiled.

The blonde hushed for a few moments, like clearance is finally getting to him because Chan really didn’t want to cause a scene in the middle of the road.

“No one, sir. I’m just here to help.”

“Why would you help me?” Chan wondered. “I did no good to you.”

His driver didn’t say anything, however his lips moved a certain way which seemed odd to Chan.

‘You did.’

And after that, his lips just pressed into a thin line and spoke no more, eyes fixated on the road and hands stuck to the wheel.

However, Chan wanted more answers. Who was he working for? Was he perhaps one of Kim’s men trying to convince him into something out of his interest? Or maybe a madman speaking his own sick mind? Was he dangerous or a pacifist?

But none of them dared to speak up for the rest of the ride.

…

The interior of Chevalier Club was pretty dark and dim, and now that Chan was left confused with what Felix had meant it seemed even more so. He had forgotten how crowded the podiums were although it was barely 5 pm. People were mostly talking and throwing random gestures at each other, and Chan had no idea where Kim could be hiding. 

That was until he reached the separated tables. They costed more to reserve and Chan knew Kim wasn’t planning on sharing his work with the rest of the world, especially now that he was crooked with it.

His eyes met a pair of people – one older with a dozen of tattoos on his left arm, and the other a bit younger with none whatsoever. The older man slightly raised his hand to get his attention, and he approached them willingly. They didn’t seem unfriendly, but they also didn’t seem easygoing. 

Chan wasn’t scared of either of them for he knew the older one was Kim, although he never saw him in person, and the younger wasn’t a goon but an assistant. 

“Good day, Kim,” Chan cooed after finding a comfortable seat for himself.

Kim chuckled lightly. “What happened to sir, Bang? You’ve been feeling a little over-confident lately?”

“Or you can’t acknowledge the fact that we are of equal position now?” Chan backfired.

Neither Kim nor his running dog liked what Chan had said for their grimaces quickly shifted to something more revolting. And Chan felt very, very proud of himself.

He lifted a hand and mouthed ‘Cola’ to the waiter as one of his legs crossed the other, still wide and comfortable. He knew Kim was getting provoked and he didn’t give a care.

“I heard you made up your mind,” Chan leered.

“I made up my mind long ago.”

Chan chuckled once again. “I don’t know, Kim. You seemed pretty uncertain by your arrangements.”

Kim looked at him, glare so tense to the extent where Chan thought he was gonna spit on his face in seconds. But he kept his manners.

“12 am,” he rustled. “Mapo-gu main parking lot. My man is going to wait for you.”

Chan nodded. “300,000 ₩.”

“What about 200,000?”

“300,000.”

“250,000?”

“I’m not changing the price, Kim. Drop it or be it.”

Kim leaned back to his seat, defeated, and his assistant began speaking. “We can offer you one of our goons for a lower price, Bang.”

Chan chuckled. “I don’t need your dogs. They are gonna betray me as soon as they can and we deal with no traitors at my district.”

Kim smiled to his response. He was starting to get back to his usual manipulative self. He guessed they all had that in common.

“I saw your guard dog, Bang,” he leaned forward, a few inches from Chan’s face. “He’s weak. He might have muscles, but he’s got no technique to protect you. Trust me on this – I’ll get you a new right-hand and you can lower the price in return. What do you say?”

Chan was debating whether he should laugh out loud or break his jaw for speaking such bullshit about Changbin. However, a grin seemed the most appropriate for now.

“Changbin? He’s a jewel,” he said confidently. “Let an army of your men fight him and he’ll break their necks if I say so. Now, you trust me on this, Kim,” he also leaned and spat every word for him to hear clearly. “No one is as good as Changbin. No one.”

Kim pulled back and looked at his own assistant, eyes saying ‘you aren’t good enough’, but the younger didn’t seem to get the message. Chan knew how much Changbin was better than both Kim and his right-hand. And he was glad he was on his side, under his hand and voice.

“How much are you selling him for?” Kim dared to ask.

“I told you – he’s practically priceless.”

Sour spread on Kim’s face and he soon stood up, gesturing his assistant to get going. “Alright, 300,000 then, Bang.”

He didn’t run, but walked firmly to the exit door. Chan reached for his phone right after he left and messaged Changbin.

“12 am, Mapo-gu main parking lot. I’ll pick it up.”

His phone buzzed. “I’ll get you the delivery. Are you at Chevalier’s?”

“Already got it with me. Go check up on the new kids.”

He opened the new chat and decided that he’d stay at here until it’s time for the delivery. His fingers quickly pressed the letters on his phone.

“Jeongin, you here?”

…

Hanging out with Jeongin definitely felt calming because the young college dropout was everything but reminiscent of Chan. He was in fact a bookworm and willing to listen to everyone, whereas Chan found books boring and he just couldn’t deal with others’ problems. And speaking to Jeongin felt refreshing to his soul, reminding him that there’s various people of different beliefs all around him.

But right after he exited the Club, Chan started to feel sick. Had it been from liters of Cola or from the man standing before his taxi, he wouldn’t have known. He saw Felix speaking to one of his colleagues, about ready to head home. Something in his guts was telling him to get back to the driver, but he wasn’t sure if he was willing to spend another 15 minutes in his presence. 

Maybe he just wanted to glance at his eyes one more time before going back to his house.

Chan approached Felix who was in the middle of shuffling his deck of cards. 

“Going home so early?” Chan pondered out loud.

Felix glanced at Chan, sparkles of gladness shining through. “It’s not that early, sir.”

Chan smiled and opened the door to sit next to him, legs spread like he owns the world and arms slacked back. 

“Where to, sir.”

“Main parking lot at Mapo-gu.”

“Not going home?”

“Do I look like the type to go home this early?” Chan almost sighed. He didn’t intent to seem tired, if anything he hated looking weak. But he couldn’t pretend forever, and this boy was approachable enough.

Felix didn’t answer, but rather began driving. His hands were shaky and his movements were brief. Chan wasn’t familiar with the way he acted, however he knew something was off.

For the first 5 minutes of the ride, they didn’t utter a word. But after those 5 minutes, the boy asked for a quick favor.

“Sir,” he said worryingly. “Can I see your hand?”

That caught Chan by surprise, hence his mind protested thinking for a brief moment. “Uh… Why?”

He sighed. “You give off bad aura.”

Chan chuckled at his affirmation. “Stop with the bullshit.”

“I am serious, sir.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Chan lifted his hand and Felix’s fingers traced the lines on his palm. Chan wanted to pull it away, but he oddly admired the sensation of it. Or that was so until Felix was the one to pull away and quickly grab a card.

His eyes opened up from surprise and then he dropped the card back to the deck.

“Sir,” he worried. “You’re gonna die.”

Suddenly, the air in Felix’s taxi became thick and hard to breathe for Chan. His heart randomly skipped a few beats and an eerily breeze panged his head. God, he hadn’t felt this scared in a while, and now this boy was telling him about death.

“Aren’t we all?” Chan’s thoughts rioted.

The boy left out an annoyed sigh. “Today. You’re gonna die today.”

“Yeah, right.”

“You’re gonna meet someone at Mapo-gu, aren’t you, sir?” he asked. 

Chan didn’t want to share any of his work information with the blonde boy. He didn’t trust him anymore, he was skeptical.

“Three men,” he continued. “Face covered with masks, either beanies or caps on their heads, one’s smoking a cigar with a blue bandanna around his arm.” Chan looked at him confused.

“They are gonna be short on money,” Felix cocked his head. “By 100,000 ₩.”

Chan shook his head and refused to believe it. What did the blonde know about dealing anyways? He was scared for his life just a few hours ago and now he was telling Chan how to act at situations he knew the best.

“So what do you want me to do?!” Chan exploded. “Kiss their hand and refuse to let them pay?!”

“No, sir,” he continued calmly even though Chan was blasting his ears. “Just get back in the car after the exchang-.”

“Cut the bullshit, kid, will you?!” Chan was now throwing hands around the car, furious from the fact that Felix was daring to give him advice. His hair was disheveled from the head shaking and his veins popped from the blood pressure.

However, before he could ruin anything else, he felt a warm seize on his left wrist – light, yet affective. Felix’s eyes were still on the road, but his hand was holding Chan.

“Chan,” he said softly as Chan’s world began to freeze. “Please, come back to the car right after you get the envelope.”

He sat frozen on the seat, mind dim from the sudden confusion. His hand couldn’t pull from his grip although it was light and Chan was far stronger than Felix. But he couldn’t.

They pulled away next to the parking lot and Chan looked outside with eyes full of terror. His breath hitched when he saw three men – the exact way Felix described to him. He opened the door and Felix pulled his hand one more time before letting go. 

“Come back.”

Chan didn’t respond. He rather approached them, now back to the usual cocky self.

“Ah, the one and only Bang Chan is here for the run! You got old, homie!”

Chan was done with everyone’s bullshit. “Money.”

“Wow, you’re not gonna greet me?”

Chan remained silent and pulled out the two envelopes he had while the other man pulled out one. They exchanged briefly and Chan was now left in a situation that he hated from the bottom of his heart.

He had to check the envelope - that was his usual routine to see whether his customers were lying. His hands urged to rip it open and count the money.

But today he didn’t. Instead he nodded and walked back to Felix, hands shaking and breathing itchy. He opened the door, sat back and told Felix to drive. As he did so, he finally ripped it open and counted it.

50,000… 100,000… 150,000… 200,000… And that was it. Exactly as Felix said.

He glanced at the young man who was fully paying attention to the road and he didn’t know what to do with him. An idea came to his mind, but he suppressed it.

There was no way Felix was one of Kim’s men. But it made sense that he was. Felix knew how they looked like, he knew they were gonna be short on money and he knew Chan’s name. Nobody knew Chan’s name apart from his henchmen and customers.

Thus Chan did what he felt like was the best thing to do – he pulled out a knife and put it to the boy’s throat.


	3. Felix

Felix didn’t like the situation he was currently in, no. The cold edge of Chan’s knife sent shivers down his spine and he thought he was already bleeding to death, although Chan was barely toughing him. The shake of his hands affected his driving, but speaking and moving was likely to get him killed faster than the car crash.

Besides him was Chan whose breathing aggravated as well. He was really, really pissed and Felix remembered the last time he saw him like this – slamming the door shut, fleeing off to break another man’s jaw and getting himself killed with a baseball bat. Oh, he wished he had unseen it.

“Who are you working for?” Chan’s works stung with the same degree of his blade. And Felix’s hands almost flew away from the wheel of how terrified he was.

His mouth couldn’t get the courage to open up, however his mind clearly didn’t want to re-live this shit of a day for the third time. “No one, sir,” he trembled.

“Then tell me how the fuck do you know this!” Chan’s other hand grabbed him by the hair and dragged his body back onto the seat, almost ripping this thin bleached locks. “Stop the car,” he demanded just afterwards.

Felix would’ve done so either way, for his vision was getting blurry from the forming tears. He just wanted to bawl his eyes out to Minnie and hug him at this point instead of being glued to the seat of his own taxi with a knife to his throat.

As he killed the engine, Chan deliberately moved to the backseat of the car and let his hair go. His hand reached for a phone, however Felix wasn’t certain since he was starting to get dizzy as addition to the prior blurriness. 

“Changbin?” Felix heard him speak on the phone. “Yeah, I’m at Mapo-gu. Half a kilometre away from the main parking lot and…” he smiled eerily just above Felix’s face. “I think I’ve caught a rat.”

God, Felix badly wanted to correct him, but he had no strength for doing so. Instead, he lifted one of his arms and placed his hand on Chan’s, hoping to loosen him with the knife. And Chan did so just after ending the call. He even leaned it against his cheek to wipe away the falling tears, then retrieved it back to the place.

“Y-you are making a mistake, sir. I just wanted to help you,” he mumbled between sobs.

“Help me what, Felix? Let the third of the deal slide by?” Chan jeered back and buried his hand back into Felix’s locks, this time only slightly pulling him back.

“No, I saw you die!” he fought back. “The cards told me you were going to die and I had to do something about it.”

Chan didn’t flinch at this, but he pulled his hair back to the seat. “Can you hear yourself?! You sound like a fucking lunatic!”

“I might be a lunatic, but I’m not working for anyone, sir!”

Felix was sure Chan could see the droplets of his tears dampen his trousers and he felt furious at the thought of being stuck in such a position for what he’s done. He really did have no other ambitions that to save the man, because he felt responsible for distracting him during the fight and, therefore, killing him.

“I just wanted to help,” he mouthed the last sentence and let his head rest on the seat in defeat. Chan’s grip finally loosened to the point where he was barely touching him. He let Felix fulfill the room with his eventual sobs as they both waited for Changbin to arrive.

…

Chan had managed to persuade Felix into calming down as soon as his car was parked next to the taxi. When Changbin saw him, he had been oddly surprised that someone like Felix could pull out a joker card on his leader. And the blonde had been sure he wasn’t playing poker, but reading Tarots.

Chan’s hand had rested onto Felix’s shoulder the whole ride back. He didn’t know his intent, but it surely wasn’t of friendly nature – more of a caution to stick to the plan.

Speaking of which, the two gangsters agreed on arriving back to the Chevalier’s so Felix could park the taxi and call it a day like nothing happened. Then, keep them company until they decide what they should do with him. Chan hadn’t given him any threats, additionally, but had rather told him to stick to the plan.

Which he obediently did. He parked the taxi, greeted his coworkers with the fakest smile in history, walked away to wherever they had told him and got into the car. Changbin was the driver and Chan was sitting next to him on the backseats. Felix wanted to get out of the situation with all his might even if it costed his life. He surely didn’t want to be there, and his guts conceded.

“Sir,” Changbin turned around right as Felix felt Chan’s hand on the back of his neck, “home?”

Chan nodded in agreement. “Tell Minho to prepare something to eat.”

He was messaged as soon as possible, although it was almost 2 in the morning and Felix doubted he could feel his appetite growing for the next few days. Instead, he felt his eyelids get heavy and, soon, staying woke seemed like the hardest job in the world.

Well, that was until he felt the hand around his neck seize a couple of times. “Don’t sleep,” he heard Chan demand. The random pokes on his neck were too harsh to be considered a massage, yet too light to make him in pain. However, it was sure better that a knife against his throat.

“Where are you taking me?” Felix wondered out loud.

“Didn’t you hear Changbin?” he cocked his head and smiled eerily. “We’re going home.”

“But your home isn’t my home, sir.”

“Do I seem like I care?”

Felix pressed his lips together, not daring to answer Chan’s rhetorical question. Instead, he lay back, letting him do the most terrible massage of his life while they traveled back. He listened to them talk along the way, but keeping up with the names was too much for him.

“Have Minho and Jisung finished the job?” Chan kept his tone simple.

Changbin was the one to reply this time. “Yes, Minho even asked about you, sir.”

“What’d he say?”

“He was whining about how you’re almost never home and, when you are, you’re always working and short on time,” Changbin sighed. “He couldn’t stop-“  
“Don’t you think he’s annoying?” Chan interrupted.

“I do, occasionally, but I think that’s his tactic.”

Chan chuckled in disbelief. “To make everyone annoyed?”

“Yes, until he gets what he wants.”

Felix thought about what they mentioned and it instantly reminded him of one person who comes to have a drive to work – Hwang Hyunjin. He didn’t get to meet him well, but regarding the way he spoke on the phone during every drive he seemed like the type of a person to do so. He always seemed annoying while repeating the words to his employees to the extent where Felix felt irritated for those people. But considering this situation, he wondered if he’d ever get to see the man again.

Chan’s hand stopped squeezing his neck. “I think Minho would like him a lot,” he looked at Felix while Changbin adjusted his rear-view mirror to glance at him as well.  
“He might,” the driver added.

At that point, Felix couldn’t process everything well. His thoughts were on the verge of consciousness and his lids got so heavy to the degree where he couldn’t open them up when he heard someone call him. And Chan’s caresses just enhanced his tiredness.

…

Felix woke up not a while after to someone lifting him up bridal style and closing the door just after. He thought it was the same man who put a knife to his throat, yet his senses decided to freak out from a different cause. Now that he had fallen asleep meant he wouldn’t wake up in his own bed after dying, but this car instead. 

He jumped from man’s arms in panic, his vision sprinkled with grainy patches from the sudden rise in blood pressure. The man held him straight up by the arm, and he soon realized it wasn’t Chan but one of his henchmen. Changbin was his name?

“You okay, kid?” he asked in a worried manner, but his face didn’t change a bit.

Felix wasn’t able to answer it, but rather allow the man to drag him inside the house. Speaking of which, the exterior of the house quite matched the neighborhood. It wasn’t kitsch – it had a creamy façade, little but no decorative plants in the small garden and surprisingly small windows. And it certainly looked as it was built for a great family of more than 6 people.

As he got dragged inside, the interior was in contrast to what was outside. It was clean and everything looked fresh bought from the store.

Felix waited for Changbin to lock the door three different times, all various procedures. The first was a digital code, second one a code lock and the third one was just a key lock. He wondered what kind of a place this must be to have 3 different locks and a whole alarm system attached to it.

As he got shoved through the door, the first thing that attracted his eyes was Chan sitting on a chair with food placed in front of him and another man by his right, who was relishing the sight. He saw a pair of brown pearls under the ginger bangs of his hair, rivaling the room light as they shined brighter that the stars.

The other things he noticed were his surroundings - the glamorous vases behind the glass of their showcase, the paintings and the furniture. Particularly, one painting took his interest as he acknowledged greater beauty of its behold. He saw a forest and a wolf, howling to the moon as the stars enhanced the sky's allurement. That's a loner wolf, Felix thought. The animal was reminiscent of Chan in a way, but he shook the idea away for Chan didn't look like a loner. If so, he was the most extroverted gangster he had ever met. But also the only gangster he had ever met.

"Come," Chan gestured him to sit while also pulling him out of his thoughts. "Sit."

He did so without second-hand hesitation, and was soon accompanied by Chan's right-hand behind him. The thoughts of getting threatened by a knife were reaching out to him in a matter of seconds and he soon felt uncomfortable by Changbin's appearance.

Chan effortlessly slapped the air a couple of times and the ginger male was off to his feet, now preparing another portion of food. The man placed the plate in front of Felix, gave him a fork and a knife and sat back to his place next to Chan.

Although Felix hadn't eaten much all day, he felt no hunger whatsoever, merely because of the knife to be exact. The sight of it brought revolting roiling his guts and he didn’t wish to be near it.  
Chan seemed to know why he had no appetite, hence he cupped his face before the plate and savored Felix’s fright rather than the steak. He lightly smiled to him. “How have you been today, Minho?”

Minho scowled in confusion because Chan wasn't looking at him, but Felix. "Me? I've been fine. What about you?" he asked back unconfidently.

Chan's eyes traveled around the table, suddenly examining every single flaw it had - scratches, stains and burned wood. It felt like a drugged fairy had possessed his body for his eyes glowed and his lips shaped an odd smile. "Today," his eyes fluttered, "I've met a boy who claimed he had saved my life." 

"This boy?" Minho's head bobbed to Felix.

Chan nodded in agreement as his body leaned back to the chair, lips still spread in an amused smile. He admired Felix for a few moments before his face completely changed - face now mirroring repugnance and arms close to his muscular body. "And then I realized he might be one of Kim's men."

Minho's face scrunched in disgust. "Ew."

"I am not," Felix barely protested, voice still tired and shaky. He was still slightly panicking from how he managed to fall asleep in Chan's car, because now he couldn't rewind the day unless he wanted to wake up in Changbin's arms.

Maybe he should've started driving that day instead of waiting for him in the District 9. Maybe he should've even told his friend to seek his colleague if he wanted a ride instead of playing Mother Teresa. However, he was certain this situation was a mistake.

“Can I go home?” he panted.

“Let me think,” Chan pretended. “No.”

“You might get into trouble if you don’t let me go,” Felix dared although he probably shouldn’t. “I’ve got a best friend. He’s going to call cops and they are going to track your location with the GPS we have built into the taxis. Hence, I suggest letting me go and we can pretend this never happene-“

“What part of ‘no’ did you not hear?! The ‘N’ or the ‘O’?” he was now throwing hands at the table, knocking the glass over and making it shatter into pieces on the floor. It made an obnoxious crack which turned Felix into a flinching mess.

He wasn’t keen on watching people burst out of rage and express it via physical abuse or any kind of physical violence. Mental abuse was a different thing. He’d been acquainted a long time ago – early teen he had been. Perhaps his mother threw a few tantrums while he was a child, but he most certainly couldn’t remember it for the sake of his life. If words could kill, both his parents would’ve faced a death sentence.

As Minho stood up to pick up the glass pieces, Chan remained still and silent. His eyes pierced through him and jaw clenched.

A wolf, Felix thought. If there was nobody in the room he would’ve sank his teeth into the throat and hold him until he couldn’t breathe anymore. Or maybe watch him bleed until the last drop.  
Felix’s eyes got teary at the thought of Minnie being home alone and worrying. “Please,” he mouthed. Chan looked the same, but now he stood up, passed before Minho and Changbin, unlocked the door and stormed out. He felt a bit at ease, however he knew it wasn’t going to be for long.

He looked up and his gaze met Minho’s. He looked exhausted by this scenery. “Don’t worry, he’s not going to hurt you.”

“Don’t talk,” Changbin interrupted, but Minho continued either way.

“If anything, I think he likes you,” he showed a sweet smile. “And I know you might be thinking ‘if this is how liking looks like, how would even hating be feeling?’. So trust me on this – listen and do as he says because Chan’s on the verge of doubting his first impression.”

He turned around to throw the pieces as a loud bang echoed through the whole house. Chan was quick to be seated back on his chair, a bit less pissed off, but still damn mad. He pushed something in front of Felix and leaned back as soon he was done.

His brought Felix’s Tarot deck. “You want me to read your cards, sir?”

“No,” Chan denied harshly. “Minho’s.”

Minho, who was in the middle of soaking the spilt water, turned his head briefly with joined eyebrows from confusion. He stopped cleaning and sat on the table so all of them could see him properly.  
“Do you want me to take a look at his future or try and guess his personality?”

“Guess his personality,” he affirmed. “Two cards.”

Felix shook his head. “Three would be more accurate.”

“Two,” Chan repeated boldly and Felix nodded. Although Minho wasn’t someone he could trust, let alone his friend, Felix wanted to take his advice and do as Chan says.

He shuffled the deck, spread the cards and hovered his hand over them, stopping where he felt certain pings of aura and probability. But sometimes the pings weren’t enough to make him certain, so he reached out his hand and asked for Minho’s to which Chan approved by a nod. Felix squeezed Minho’s soft and small hand a couple of times before he felt a burst of something from one of the cards on the right. He separated in from the rest and then squeezed again. This time it wasn’t as impactful as the first pang, but it still carried a good amount of aura. Both of the cards were now by their own and Felix flipped them as soon as he cleaned the rest of the deck.

The first one was an upside down ‘The Fool’ card. Felix let go of Minho’s hand as his head cocked to the side. Minho surely didn’t look like a fool, and he certainly wasn’t naïve. 

“You’re not that innocent when it comes to life,” Felix began. “But you like to take risks out of spite – because people can’t stop you from doing them.”

Chan looked at Minho, a surprised grin on his face and he tapped his shoulder. “That’s true, baby, isn’t it?”

Minho shrugged and let Felix continue. “You are also reckless when it comes to some of your actions and other people’s opinion.” Now he flipped the other card and this one took him by surprise. 

‘Page of Cups’.

“Are you a Cancer, a Scorpio or a Pisces?” he wondered regarding the ‘Cups’ cards. They represented water – emotions and love in other words. Felix wondered if this young man was actually a thoughtful individual, but that seemed too cliché to mention so he wished to keep it to specifics rather than things in general.

“I’m a Scorpio,” Minho replied as he looked at Chan, quite astonished from what he’s heard. The grin on Chan’s face remained the same – he loved to see Minho out of usual.

“And you’re perhaps a man of art. You enjoy arts that involve either eyes or ears to satisfy,” Felix examined the young man painted on the card, holding a cup. “Based on your appearance, I believe you enjoy music and therefore dancing,” he finally looked at Minho and smiled. “And you’re very good at it.”

Minho's lips peeked a slight smile. "I am extremely good to be precise." He pulled back to his chair and kept oddly smiling to himself, but suppressing the giggles as soon as he felt like expressing them.

Felix loved these kind of sights - where he left the customer satisfied with their somewhat generalized answers and predictions. But one thing made him jubilant to the extent where it couldn't be compared with the previous. And that was Chan looking all smiley and excited to see Minho choking on giggles.

He cupped his cheek and turned to Felix just as his ginger friend seemed done. "That was pleasant to hear," he admitted.

"Do you believe me now, sir?" Felix asked in anticipation to hear him say 'yes' and let him hop home happily while Seungmin was still asleep and unaware.

However, a rather mysterious expression painted Chan. He was still smiling, but it wasn't for the same reason as before. His eyes went a shade darker as they gleamed in something likewise lust.

"You know, my mom had always taught me not to play with my food."

Felix smiled at him, finally letting his wishes deeply sink into his brain. He had this urge to shake Chan's hand although he was seriously hating the man just mere seconds ago.

And he should've, perhaps, gone back to his old intuition about Chan.

"But I never seemed to learn the lesson."


	4. Seungmin

Seungmin didn’t know which was worse – the fact that Felix was extremely late once again or the fact that his homemade tteokbokki had gotten cold from the waiting. Frankly, he needn’t bother where this best friend was for he knew he was at work. However, being two hours late made his blood boil. At the end of the day, Seungmin just wanted to see his friend, hug him tightly as he entered the flat, throw a couple of inside jokes while they cook dinner and complain about their days until exhaust kills them to sleep.

But he got none of that. 

Pushing the thought away seemed impossible, so he had called him a couple of times, but nobody answered. Sometimes his boss would pick up just to tell him that Felix had to work an extra hour, although that also wasn’t today’s case.

But at what cost he had to stay longer? His salary wasn’t getting higher regardless.

Seungmin reluctantly shoved the food into his mouth. He had lost all wish to eat after realizing he was supposed to do it alone once again. The once soft rice cakes became hard and stiff and it didn’t taste pretty anymore. He sighed before grabbing his phone again to try and call him for the third time.

He didn’t answer. The thought of Felix’s phone dying crossed his mind, but it wasn’t likely. He would’ve gotten a voicemail and a message the exact moment he was back online. Felix surely didn’t let his phone breathe and he would’ve gotten it charged as soon as he could.

2 am seemed like a reasonable time for sleep and Seungmin wasn’t complaining. Yes, he did worry about Felix and he did stay up awake for another hour just to check whether his friend was back, but he knew Felix would come as soon as possible. Hence, he fell asleep.

…

“Why are you crying?” Seungmin kneeled down next to the boy. His eyes were swollen and red, his lips trembled and his cheeks had a glossy sheen of tears smeared across them.

The boy couldn’t answer, but he finally remembered his name.

“Felix?” the boy’s gaze shifted abruptly.

“How do you know my name?” he asked between sobs as his arms circled his knees.

Seungmin didn’t know where he’d picked up his name. Everything seemed dim and unusual. He couldn’t think straight.

“Uh, we’ve already met at the locker-room. Remember?” 

Felix shook his head and only then did Seungmin start to recognize his once dark brown hair. He looked young. Middle-school, he thought. “No, I don’t remember.”

“You must’ve forgotten. I’m Seungmin, your best friend,” he cooed while his hand leaned on Felix’s back.

“I don’t know you.”

“You know me. I was there when you cried.”

“I don’t know you,” Felix repeated again. “Go away.”

For a second, Seungmin really thought about turning away and leaving, but the chaos in his semi-conscious mind said otherwise. What was he saying? Why was he pushing him away when he's all Felix's got? 

He looked down at the boy once again, guts filled with panic. No, Felix couldn't forget this after all those years of staying near each other. He couldn't leave him confused like this, they are basically brothers - if not by blood, then by soul. 

"I'm your best friend," Seungmin whispered hopelessly.

He didn't know what was happening in the first place. The length of his arms unintentionally travelled around the boy as he leaned his head on his brown hair. However, Felix didn't return the hug, let alone a reassuring word. Panic soon turned into fear and Seungmin was on the edge of confronting the boy about his unfunny acts. 

"Why are you alone, Lixie?" he held him tighter. "Why are you alone?" 

If it weren't for the seize of his arms, he wouldn't have noticed his skin get fragile. It felt like every touch broke Felix into dust and, when he pulled away, he sure saw it. The reds of his eyes disappeared, tears got dry and his body was practically frozen. 

"Felix?" 

His hand went for the shoulder, but the only thing he saw after he tapped was it breaking off of his body. Like a plastic figurine. 

Nonetheless, the last thing he heard was it falling on the ground. Tap, tap. 

... 

Tap, tap? 

His body jolted upwards from his bed, analyzing what had happened just mere moments ago. And then it hit him. A dream. No, a nightmare.

And he heard it again. Tap, tap. 

Who dared to knock on his flat door at 6 am, when most of the people weren't even ready for work? He rubbed his eyes and pushed away the tremor in his barely woken muscles, feeling his way through their small flat as he got to the door. 

"Who is it?" he asked. 

Nothing. 

His voice became harsh, which was unusual for someone like Seungmin. "I said, who is it?" 

Again, nothing. 

He jacked the door open and waited for his eyes to fixate on whoever had decided to bother him this early in the morning. 

His eyes med a familiar pair. "Felix?" he tilted his head. "Why are you knocking?" 

Felix had this odd gaze to himself, he looked kind of lost and tense, his eyelids were pink and puffy and all of his movements seemed twitchy. And why was he knocking? He didn't do that often, and when he did something was completely off. 

"Sorry I'm late," he stepped in and kicked his shoes off. "Mr. Park needed me to replace a colleague for this shift." 

Seungmin helped him get the jacket off his shoulders. He eyed Felix as he made himself comfortable once again. 

"I'll take a shower and go to sleep right after and we can talk when I wake up. I'm really tired," he sighed and went into the bathroom, dragging his feet along the way. 

That was odd. Felix wasn't fond of knocking when he came home late, let alone this early. He also avoided eye contact when Seungmin was eyeing him deliberately to see what's up with him. He should've asked him before he disappeared into the bathroom.

Though, as he was about to walk away and fall into a deep sleep once again, he heard something unexpected from the other room. Something he wished he hadn't heard. While he was leaning on the door to eavesdrop, he swore he heard Felix sob a few times. Was he crying? Seungmin's heart ached. 

"Are you okay?" he knocked on the door while he waited for him to answer. 

It took him a few seconds. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

He wasn’t fine, and Seungmin knew that well.

However, it wasn’t the crying that bothered him, but the fact that Felix wasn’t willing to share his problems with him. He started doing that ever since they became friends. Felix would bawl his eyes out in front of him, hug him while he talked and explained what he deemed wrong in the situation, ask for advice or reassuring words and give a bright smile after his crying session. And Seungmin knew it made him feel thousand times better. Feel loved, he thought. After all, he had always searched for love from every word he got, be it hateful or actually benevolent. Frankly, Seungmin was just scared that one day he’d confuse hate for love and get himself into a hole full of unwanted goods.

He waited for Felix to finish washing up in his own bed, wrapped up in two different blankets and lying only on the left side.

Fully dressed in pajamas, Felix entered the room. His face wasn’t swollen anymore and his eyes, surprisingly, weren’t red. However, his movements and gestures still had a weird kind of twitch to them. While packing the clothes, his arms kept retrieving back to his chest and his fingers were shaking, though not as drastically as before.

Seungmin raised his head to speak. “Felix,” he cooed beneath the thick layer of blankets. “Come sleep with me tonight.”

Felix nodded without a doubt and gave him a small smile before joining his well-built warmth beneath the layers. He rested his head on the one pillow they had and turned around so Seungmin could circle his arm around his waist, which he did so naturally. His hair was still damp from the shower, so Seungmin lowered a bit to keep away from the wetness, but closer to his chest.

Although he knew it was already morning and the sun was starting to peek its way up the sky, Seungmin buried his face between the bed sheets and Felix’s body right after he whispered a soft ‘good night’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/zivkovicdanica_) <3
> 
> I follow everyone back ^^


	5. Chan

Chan had woken up, yet again, with a headache pounding in his head. Perhaps he should treat himself one day and sleep for more than those pathetic 4 hours. He didn't care for the blood in his eyes, but the instability and lack of focus he needed every day to properly work.

However, he was sure his wishes wouldn't come true anytime soon now that he'd almost been made to look stupid in front of a whole another gang. Besides that, living as a rock sounded amazing at this hour. But if he were to choose, he'd like to be seated somewhere far away from the sea or any type of water. Maybe an evergreen forest with plenty of sun protection to suit his requirements, but this wasn't the time to wonder about it. He had to save his philosophical thoughts for later in life, when he gets old, rusty and hopeless with plenty of time to spare and waste like plastic bags and instant noodles cups.

He knew Minho hadn't slept with him last night for he'd be coated in sweat due to the way Minho glued onto his body. But, nevertheless, he needed three proper meals today, unlike yesterday when we had been feeding on Cola. Maybe, he should stop if he didn't want his liver to give up on him while fighting diabetes. But being healthy was pricey and Chan wasn't willing to invest money in something that gave no potential profit at the moment.

His legs swung over and pulled the rest of his body from the bed, not giving a damn about the sheets he bunched up while sleeping. Yet again, he didn't bother to dress up, and he stormed out of the room.

Changbin was whom he needed today. They had plenty of work to plan about the missing third of the full price they hadn't gotten from Kim.

A war, Chan wondered. Was he willing to start a war for such a small sum? A war worth 100,000 W sounded merely pathetic, so he thought about a reasonable plot to lead the man into his game. He wished Kim would just give up on his own damn gang and save him the energy, but regarding what he's done to Chan in the past, oh, he wanted to make him suffer until the very end. And he wanted to make it spectacular.

He entered a kitchen with an already pre-painted smile across his lips. The ideas were making him amused.

As he searched across the room, he found no one to be there other than Changbin, which was to his liking.

"Good morning, Chan," he said between chews after he bit his sandwich.

Chan nodded and sat in front of his right-hand man, eyes searching for food that was hopefully made by Minho. "I've thought about kicking Kim from the gang fields," he got to the point right away. "He was 100,000 short yesterday, and I'm either thinking about making him go bankrupt or erasing him from the game. He has no allies and no money, so it's just a matter of time when we find out he was executed."

Changbin stared at him for a brief moment. "But what about that kid from yesterday?"

Felix? Chan had almost forgotten he let him go home after all those late hours in his house. When they agreed on a deal, he had been positive that Felix was too fragile to risk pissing off a mob, so he had persuaded him to a simple favor. His cards and reading abilities were outstanding, that was for sure, and his hand reading was impressive enough to be used to make minor calls or acts.

Chan hadn't doubted Felix was anything but a gifted future teller. The way he had portrayed himself made him certain he wasn't working for anyone. His appearance was too spectacular that there was no way he had anything to do with gangs. So why not make him his own man when he could?

At the end of the day, that was all Chan did. Collecting them from the streets, he made sure none of the kids were attached to their families and peers, he trained and taught them to be good at either science, management or fighting. Feed the starving dogs and they'll fight for you like wolves.

"Let him join us," Chan said confidently. 

"I don't think he will, sir." 

"Oh, trust me, he will. If not by his own will, then I'll drag him here with my own hands." Chan brought the papers for today and examined what they had for plans. 

There was a lot to be delivered and, although Changbin might be reminiscent of a superhero, it was certainly impossible to finish these tasks within 24 hours. 

"I'll split the work in half - the morning is yours and Jisung can take the afternoon. I need you to make me company at Chevalier's today at 5, understand?" 

"Yes, sir," Changbin responded briefly after placing the last bite in his mouth. 

Chan saw him heading for the door. "And call Jisung here!" he demanded while Changbin had already closed the door, but he was sure he heard it.

Hovering over the papers, Chan already knew there was going to be a lot to do today. Although Jisung was not one of his dealers, yet a trustworthy scientist, he had no other choice but make him trade. 

Jisung, also, didn't look like a dealer. Everything about him was akin to high schoolers - his way of dressing, speaking and throwing random jokes whenever he felt like it. Even his face looked younger than half of the kids here at District 9, eyes big and glossy and cheeks puffy like a squirrel.

However, Chan had never liked Jisung for the way he looked, yet the way he made drugs like they were instant noodles. Everything that was cooked by his hand was worth far more than any other scientist from another gang, and therefore a reason for Chan to buff the prices.

The moment he had learned about Jisung's abilities, he knew going to college had nothing to do with knowledge because Jisung dropped out of it just after 6 months. He had suffered financially, with barely anyone to speak to and his mindset had started getting rotten. And that was when Chan found him in one of the few companies to offer people easy jobs for a small amount of money. So Chan had offered him a place at the District and Jisung had gladly accepted it. 

Chan's thoughts were disturbed by a loud knock on the door when he was just done with checking the work. 

"Come in!" Chan knew it was Jisung for no one's behavior was as impactful and loud as his. God, if Chan were to put him and an angry dog into a room, he would have found them competing for who could bark louder. 

A boy with a wide grin entered the room, adjusting his lab uniform on the way to the table. "You asked for me, Mr. Bang?" he goofed. 

"Indeed, I did," Chan watched him take the coat off and hang it on a kitchen chair. "I have some work for you." 

His eyebrows raised. "Woah, more work? Thanks, boss, I thought I was gonna die from boredom!" he exclaimed, voice drowning in sarcasm. 

Cupping a cheek with one of his hands, Chan was sure Jisung had no bad intentions for portraying his feelings in a weird sense of humor. He just liked joking about business, but he had no complaints about the actual work. And Chan wouldn't too if he were in Jisung's shoes. 

"I want you to finish these orders from 4 pm to 12 am. It's dealing, not cooking, so be careful." Chan handed him the papers with a list of customers, timestamps, places and order numbers next to their names. 

"Wait... I'm not a dealer. I'm gonna get beaten up." 

"That's none of my business." 

"It's gonna be when you start lacking in production." 

In his head, Chan admitted that was very correct. There was barely a way to keep their production when Jisung was out of context for he was a genius when it came to mixing substances. 

"I'll get someone to replace you." 

"You can't," Jisung smiled sheepishly. "No one is as good as me." 

Chan smiled back to him, now resting on his chair and intently gazing back at him. "You're right, Jisung. No one is as good as you." Jisung's cheeks flashed a weak scarlet. "But I'll have to persuade you into fulfilling these tasks today. Changbin and I are trying to get one boy to ourselves." 

Jisung's eyebrows raised in excitement. "Really? A scientist or a goon?" 

"Neither," said Chan exaggeratedly. "He's a fortune-teller." 

Jisung frowned and Chan knew he'd have this type of reaction. Actually, Chan couldn't believe what he was saying, either. Having a fortune-teller on his team had never crossed his crazy mind, but there they were, seeking a boy because Chan liked what effect the cards had on him. After meeting Felix, he liked the way he felt after hearing possibilities and advice from another man. It made him feel empowered and capable. 

"Why would you hire a fortune-teller, boss? I thought you were superstitious," Jisung's eyes widened a little as he leaned back as well. 

"Well, you see..." he began, "I don't believe his cards nor him. But I very much admire the boost in motivation when I hear him say it." 

Jisung nodded in agreement, face sinking into deeper thoughts. Chan let him think about the question because he wasn't willing to answer many. Chan preferred being to one who's asking. 

"Where did you meet him? How old is he?" 

Smiling briefly to himself, Chan actually deemed about how Felix had warned him about Kim's dealers yesterday. What a nice thing to do, right? And out of nowhere. 

"Long story, but he's around your age." 

Chan's ears were acquainted with a loud and doubting sigh. "Boss, why couldn't you get us a girl? Just because you're not attracted to them doesn't mean they can't be here," he whined.

"I told you - I'm not specific about their gender. I just take what's on the streets," Chan corrected. "Besides, you can search for Minho if you get lonely. You two can annoy each other during the breaks. 

Now, get out of my face and do your work," he pointed to the door and got back to the papers. 

Jisung rolled his eyes in disbelief, but Chan couldn't see it. "When am I starting?"

"Leave at 4 pm. Changbin will get you the backpack." 

"Right," Jisung nodded. "Have a nice day, boss." 

Chan was about to tell him to stop being annoying and get out of the kitchen, but he heard the door close and he suddenly felt at ease. 

... 

It hadn't taken him a while to go over the documents for he was used to reading quickly during the busy days. Despite that, the excitement kept his senses focused. 

The moment Chan saw Felix, he felt a rush of empathy drive through his body. Seeing a young boy by himself who was clearly having a minor panic attack had made him intrigued and interested in his daily life. He had wondered what other relationships he treasured, what his hobbies were, did he go to school, was he living with his parents, etc. 

Gladly, when he heard from Changbin that Felix was a college dropout, he was determined to drag him into the gang and teach him about management or right-hand assistance, although he could never replace Changbin. 

The fortune-telling was the only thing that surprised him. He legitimately considered Felix as one of Kim's men, but the thought washed away when Chan rested a little. 

The boy was too shy and scared to be one of them. That was for sure. 

After a few moments, a steady knock made him glance up. 

"I'm done, sir," Changbin entered the kitchen, dampened in sweat. He was running late, but Chan didn't bother. 

"Sit down and rest until I prepare Jisung's backpack," he stood up and began placing envelopes inside, all with different names on them. At the end, he dropped an A4 paper to one of the pockets and told Changbin to give it to Jisung.

His assistant was still catching his breath. "Yes, sir." 

"And come back as soon as you're done." 

It didn't take him a while - 3 minutes at most. When he returned, Chan felt a ting of guilt roil down his stomach. He was the reason Changbin looked drained and breathy, the reason he almost passed out.

"You okay, man?" Chan asked right as they left the house and approached the car. 

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," he protested. "I just..." he said between pants, "couldn't sleep well last night." 

Chan poked his arm and gestured him to sit on the passenger seat. He deserved a break after the magnificent job he's just finished. 

"Why?" 

Changbin hesitated to answer it as he sat down and they began driving to the club. 

"Come on, don't hide it from me," Chan reassured him that he wasn't the guy to judge if he had bad dreams or got scared. Besides that, Chan stole money as a job. Who was he to judge? 

"I felt cold all night," he calmed down a little. 

"Cold?" Chan frowned. "I thought it was too hot. Do you, perhaps, have a fever?" 

His hand was about to leave the wheel and touch his associate's forehead when Changbin rioted once more. "No, I'm fine, sir. There's nothing to worry about." 

Although there was no ill thought lingering in Changbin's mind, Chan felt extremely insulted by the way he repulsed to his attempt to check his temperature. His hand lifted once more as he saw the same type of bother flash Changbin's eyes. God, if he did that one more time, Chan would've smacked him across the face rather than touch his forehead. Luckily, Changbin knew that there was no way to bypass Chan's wills, and therefore he let the man place his cold hand on his skin. Debate was spread all over Chan’s face. He wasn't sure if his right-hand had a fever, so he touched his own forehead, trying to figure out if it's of similar temperature. 

"I'm not sure," Chan kept looking at the road. "You either have a mild form or you don't have it at all." 

"I'm fine, nevertheless," he turned to look at the passing buildings and houses as Chan retrieved his hand back to himself. 

Changbin was very much out of his usual. Many would say that Chan was tripping if they heard this, but he had his reasons and beliefs. Something was bothering him, and that something was associated with today's deals he delivered, that was for sure. He had looked perfectly fine when they had woken up, but after all that running and exchanging he thought something had happened and he wasn't aware of it. 

"Did any of the customers bother you?" 

Changbin thought for a brief moment before answering. "One of them was kind of late, but apart from that everything went well." 

Chan frowned. "Which number?" he meant the customer number. 

"The last one - 16," Changbin paused a little. "That woman that buys weed for parties every other week." 

Chan's bulb lightened up. "Oh, her?" he smirked. "Maybe I should increase the price?" 

"Your call, sir." 

The buildings kept passing and passing. They frankly needn’t speak about anything in particular anymore. Most of the problems Chan and Changbin shared with each other without asking about them beforehand. They knew each other better than themselves sometimes. All it took was a strong grip on the pencil or a weirdly positioned mouth and they sensed something was wrong. That was their way of communicating from the first time they met, alone and cold on the streets with no food whatsoever.

As they approached the club, Changbin’s eyes went on a searching spree. They had to find the boy and persuade him into joining the gang. But, all of the parked taxis were empty, which was a problem because they needed Felix alone.

“Where the fuck is he?” muttered Chan under his breath.

They passed by the club to park somewhere not-noticeable. It would’ve been odd to see a pair of guys parking their own car next to a taxi and asking for a ride, wouldn’t it?

When they came closer, they noticed that all of the drivers were grouped together in a circle. They were talking about something light-hearted, but neither of they could hear exactly what they were saying because of the environmental clamor. 

However, spotting Felix had been the easiest task of the day so far. His blonde hair stood out the same way as his pretty face compared to the older men around him. The only thing they needed to do right now was get him away from the small crowd – and that was by getting his attention.

Chan and Changbin both positioned themselves to look exactly at Felix because human brain reacts when it catches another pair of eyes. It was one of the few psychological tricks they mastered long ago and used for their advantage when they wanted someone to focus on something other than them doing the dirty work.

They exact moment Chan’s eyes met Felix’s, they younger boy froze and his lips parted a little. He was surely surprised.

Chan bobbed his head, indicating that he was wishing for a ride and Felix pretended to ignore them for a brief moment. Then, he blonde simply backed away and approached his car, waiting for them to come.

“Don’t scare him away,” Chan barely whispered while approaching, but Changbin heard it for sure.

The boy was already on his seat, prepared to give them a ride. When Chan bent to look at him through the mirror, he saw the boy soaking in tension – posture stiff and breathing perfectly timed.

Chan smiled. “Are you working?”

Regarding his state, he thought Felix wasn’t going to answer before he calms down.

“Uh… Yeah, sir.”

Perfect.

He gestured Changbin to get in as he came to the passenger seat, slacking off as he sat. The usual.

He swore he heard Felix’s breathing hitch. “Where to?”

“Wherever,” Chan hummed. “Just start driving.”

Felix hesitated for a moment, then looked at Changbin, then at Chan and then he was sure he was stuck in a shitty situation once again. He had no other option than to, indeed, start the engine.

Both of the passengers waited to far from the parking lot, so no one could intervene the conversation they were about to have.

“The weather is nice today,” Chan practically sang just for the sake of starting the conversation.

Felix hummed in agreement, trying to seem as calm as possible. However, the string that had been holding his emotions together snapped and disturbed his perfectly timed breathing.

“Why?” Chan looked at discomforted Felix. “Why did you come again?”

“I thought you missed me,” Chan played a little as he almost heard a brief ‘no’ escape Felix’s mouth. “Actually, I wanted to know more about your cards.”

“My cards?” Felix was taken by surprise. “I thought you disliked my cards, sir.”

Chan chuckled lightly. “Well, I do, indeed, dislike your cards. But I’d start loving them if that meant you come to work for me.”

Felix’s eyes widened. “Work for you? Sir, I can barely close the window without falling through it.”

“It doesn’t matter. Skill comes with practice and I spotted a lot of potential in you.”

He shook his head. “I think you are horribly mistaken. I can’t even speak properly.”

“You don’t need to speak.”

“I’ll burn your kitchen down.”

“We have fire extinguishers.”

“I’ll accidentally leak information.”

“We’ll kill the ones who know.”

Silence spread through the car as Felix sighed.

“Stop making excuses and come with us,” Chan placed a hand on his shoulder. “And you can start driving back to the club.”

Felix did a ‘U’ turn and kept quiet for the rest of the ride. Chan and Changbin let the offer sink into his head. They both knew he’d ponder about it all day, and that he’d join at the end. People like him always do.

“Do I have an option?” Felix asked as they reached the exact location where they previously parked before finding him.

“You have an option to come here today after your shift,” he handed the small paper with an address written on it. “Or you can play hard to get and come the next time I see you. Which is probably going to be tomorrow.” Chan opened the door and got out.

However, before he disappeared with his associate, he whispered a few words to Felix which he knew would poke his mind all night.

“Come or not, either way you’re going to be mine, Felix. It’s just a matter of time and indulgence.”

He closed the door and let the silence kill.


	6. Felix

The whole ‘join me’ thing left Felix overwhelmed. Being asked to join one of the biggest gangs in Seoul was definitely not what he had expected.

Apart from that, he frankly didn’t know anything about their big world. He knew it took a lot of connections to lead something like that, and he knew that he was, most certainly, not the type of a person to make friends on a daily basis. Seungmin was the exact and perfect example of his introverted skills – he was the only friend he made in high school.

While he was watching the two of them disappear around the corner, he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. 

‘Either way you’re going to be mine.’ Was he really going to permit this Bang Chan into screwing with his poor brain and mushing it up until he couldn’t think straight anymore? Was he really going to feel wanted just after a few simple compliments that anyone could make up? 

Felix surely didn’t want to, but the little devil on his shoulder said otherwise. He was already planning the routine to the written address that Chan gave him. God, he really felt pathetic.

As he drove back to his position next to the parking lot, he saw a young man of familiar features standing in front of his spot. Hwang Hyunjin, he recalled.

The man was standing in anticipation with a straightest possible posture, gnawing on his lower lip as he scrolled through his phone. Undoubtedly, his suit was expensive and new. For a brief second Felix wondered where Hyunjin pulled the money from, but then he remembered, once again, that he was an heir of his father’s company. 

Frankly, software engineering and web-mastering was something Felix couldn’t think about. It seemed too complicated when he wasn’t really into math and anything that contained numbers. Hence, he was utterly glad people like Hwang’s employees existed for he couldn’t imagine doing their work.

“Greetings,” Felix heard the man call from outside, voice a little harsh. “May you give me a ride to work, Felix?” he asked politely, although he was clearly pissed off.

“Of course,” affirmed Felix. He let the man make himself comfortable at the back of his taxi prior to driving.

Dropping the suitcase on the seat, Hyunjin sighed. “Usual.”

"Yes, of course," Felix affirmed as he recalled the fastest way to Hyunjin's company and started driving to it. "I thought you don't work on Thursdays, Hyunjin." He didn't bother to use any polite names because he knew Hyunjin was his age, and so much more successful. 

His customer sighed, completely pissed. "I thought the same, but, according to my father, there is plenty of work to do and little but no time for personal interests. I was in the middle of enjoying a game of golf!" he spat the last few words. 

Felix imagined the endless fields of grass that was perfectly mowed just for the sake of playing games. How much money did he need for the simplest golf terrain? Probably way more than he currently has.

"Have you tried booking a vacation? He can't bother you if you're not there." 

Hyunjin hissed and threw his head back. "Tsk, have you met my father? I assume he would fly to where I went and drag me back to work if I didn't appear as soon as he desired." 

Felix didn't know what to say to that, but he for sure wondered about a certain person whose acts were akin to Hyunjin's father's. He wondered if Chan would do the same if he doesn't show up after shift. Or would he actually abuse him physically instead of psychically? 

"I hope it will get better after you become your own boss, Hyunjin," Felix said sincerely, a pout spreading on his lips. 

"Will it, though?" Hyunjin shook his head in disbelief. "Or will I just become my own source of stress?"

Felix let the rhetorical question hang in the air as he drove past the huge, influential company buildings among the heart of the city. Hwangs' building was one of the bigger ones, all covered in glass panels that reflected the environment to the same extent as a mirror. Beautiful and expensive, he thought. 

He stopped in front of the building, waiting for Mr. Hwang to open the door and pay for his ride. 

"That would be 13,800 W-"

"Here you go," Hyunjin shoved a 50,000 W bill into Felix's chest without bothering to pay any attention to him. Surprised, Felix called him to get the exchange, but the man was long gone before Felix could even open his mouth. 

Damn, the Hwangs might be crying money after all. 

...

Felix waited for Hojun to replace him after the shift. 

It was time for him to make the big decision he had been deeming about this whole day. Should he go home and enjoy some time with his best friend or get himself into a perplexing maze because he denied Bang Chan’s invitation? There were two options, both with great consequences, but moreover with even greater risks.

He should’ve started driving that day, definitely. He shouldn’t have waited for Chan to hop into the taxi. However, when Felix recalled the way Chan died in front of his very two eyes, he started rethinking his actions. Maybe he did the best? 

In times like this, where Felix couldn’t make up his mind, he required assistance from his long companion – the cards. He pulled three of them quickly, before Hojun was finished with preparing himself.

As he flipped the first card, he sighed out of relief. 

‘The World’.

That card indicated success and a sense of pride. People would praise him for his brilliant ideas due to his god-gifted psyche.

‘The Justice’, reversed.

Felix knew that he would be taken the advantage of. However, it also meant that he did everything in his power for a better future. Karma played a big role in the context of this card.

Frankly, Felix didn’t need to read the third card to tell what the current best decision was. If he joined the gang, he’d definitely be taken advantage of, but also find success and acceptance on the way. And regarding his past, he knew what it felt like for people to use him.

“Felix?” a deep voice interrupted his thoughts. “You can go home, kid.”

He glanced at his colleague before sighing. “Alright, good night, sir.”

As the cold breeze hit his skin, he looked at the starry sky. Connecting the stars felt like a relief.

‘Lead me the way’, he wished. ‘Show me what the best way is’.

The stars were his guide, their magnificent shine was his hope. And he sincerely hoped he’d be happy and glad in the end. 

Step after step and he was coming closer to the District 9. The verdure was gradually dying the more he walked, his guts were tightening and his senses were getting wary. It felt like he was walking into his own death trap, so he hoped Chan wasn’t the one who set it.

Passing the monotonic houses, he kept hearing something other than the sharp breeze. Something that seemed like whining. Felix couldn’t quite figure out where it was coming from, but it was surely close. The more he walked, the louder it became, and at a certain point Felix stopped to examine its source.

“Hello?” he called, hoping he’d get a reply.

Nothing. The noise stopped.

“Is anyone there?” he looked across the street, seeking for any kind of movement.

And then he spotted something in a half-dead bush across the street. There little but no cars in this district, hence he needn’t have looked for them to cross. 

He couldn’t see who was hiding in that bush, but it was definitely a human being. He came closer and closer until he saw a slim figure with no muscles whatsoever, lying next to it and biting his sleeve. 

“Umm… I think dead bushes aren’t a good place to hide, don’t you think so too?” Felix cooed innocently.

The figure let out a suppressed sigh and shot his head toward Felix. Oh, the look on his face when he saw a dozen of bruises painted across the stranger’s own was far more than afraid. He looked far too young to be a punch bag.

“Please let me go,” the boy begged desperately. “I’m no harm to you.” Felix didn’t know whose eyes were showing more fear.

“Uh, I… I’m no harm to you as well…” None of them dared to look away from each other. “Do you need help?”

The stranger pressed the back of his hand on his swollen scarlet eye. There was no point in cleaning the blood from his mouth since it had already dried up. 

“I guess,” he hesitated. “But only as long as you aren’t working for anybody.”

Not yet, Felix thought.

He offered a hand to the boy who was lying on the dirt, assisting him in walking as soon as he stood up. Honestly, he was lighter that he looked for Felix barely felt any pressure on his shoulder. It was only then that Felix could take a closer look at his features. His eyes were big and almost doll-like and his mouth was small with chubby cheeks. Yeah, he definitely looked too young to get beaten up like this.

“Where do you want to go?” Felix whispered.

“There,” the boy pointed to a nearby street. “My friends are there.”

Felix froze as he heard the words. “Your f-friends? In this district?”

The boy had a hard time blinking, but he reassured him by a nod. Felix didn’t want to be nosy, hence they limped across a couple of streets with difficulty. Maybe Felix should’ve started working out because helping this boy walk was too labor-intensive for someone like him.

Almost panting, they reached a house that was strangely familiar to him just mere seconds prior to realizing it was the place he was supposed to come to. To meet Bang Chan.

“T-This house?” he doubted for a second.

But before he heard an answer, the boy was already out of his grip and banging on the door with very last bit of energy he had.

“Open up!” he yelled.

Felix came to the stranger to help him stand up as he heard the front door camera move frantically before them. Suddenly, the door swung open and he was greeted with a familiar sharp face, full of nervousness.

“Chan! We have a problem!” Changbin shouted out before reaching out to the boy. He basically carried him inside like a bag of potatoes while Felix shifted his gaze anxiously between the two of them. 

“Sir, I-“

“You stand there!” Changbin demanded harshly. “Chan!”

Felix’s pose stiffened as he watched them disappear inside. He could make a run for it and get away, but he had no strength nor guts to do so. 

Soon, Felix heard his name be called and then he saw another familiar man approach him impetuously.

"Get in," Chan squeezed his arm and dragged him into the house, typing an alarm password as he shoved him inside. Felix thought this kind of harshness wasn't necessary, especially now that he got scared from what might happen in soon future.

"What sh-"

"Just sit there, don't touch anything, don't speak to anyone, don't wander around," Chan exclaimed clearly. "Do you understand?"

Felix nodded and let him go away while he was left alone in their kitchen - the exact same place he had been sitting just yesterday. Under the pressure, he kept his gaze to the floor and refused to look up and risk pissing anyone off. The same picture of a howling wolf was the only point of assurance that indicated he was seated in the kitchen.

"Get Jisung to a hospital, Chan!" Felix heard a shouting voice from one of the other rooms in the house - neither Chan's nor Changbin's. He couldn’t quite remember if he’d already heard that voice.

"He's fine. Just get him some ice," that was Chan.

"Are you fucking kidding?! He's bleedin-"

"Minho, don't intervene," he heard Changbin say calmly. "If you can't do anything other than panic, then go away and make sure Felix doesn't snoop around." 

As expected, frantic and loud steps kept approaching and Felix already knew who it was. He heard Minho open the fridge, followed by a series of loud pangs. He assumed Minho was getting the ice out for the boy. 

"Don't move, keep looking down," Minho reminded him on the way back to the room. After that he heard very little - just a bunch of hisses and weeping from the room. 

From what he had seen, the boy definitely needed some medical help. Maybe antibiotics or something to disinfect his open cuts? Or maybe he really needed to go to the hospital for Felix hadn't seen if he had any bruises on his body, just his face. 

Just as he got used to the bare silence, he heard Chan from the room. "Who?" 

"I-I don't know..." the boy hissed again. 

"Jisung," he emphasized. "Tell me the number." 

"The last one. 18."

Someone got out of the room into the kitchen and began shuffling the papers and shoving them aside. His movements were hasty. After what felt like a brief second, Felix looked up to see why they stopped throwing the papers so suddenly. And now he had an idea why. 

"What a crazy fucking bastard this Kim is," Chan scoffed in disbelief. "The audacity he has to beat my man AND steal his fucking bag full of money." 

His eyes met Felix's at one point, but he gave it no meaning for he returned to the room, jaw clenched and fists tightly squeezed.

"Call Jeongin and tell him to find Kim's dealing schedule."

"Sir, Jeongin can't hack. He's a manager," Changbin corrected as they both got into the kitchen.

"Then tell him to find someone who can!"

All of this yelling and tension made Felix uncomfortable, but he was able to open his mouth nevertheless. He wanted to be useful for once.

"I know someone who can help," Felix's eyes peeked up, eyes shining like two black pearls.

Chan scowled and asked eagerly. "Who?"

"The Hwangs. I know their son. He comes to take a ride every now and then." He didn't know where he'd gotten the idea, but it seemed like Chan was satisfied with it.

"Changbin, what do you think?" Chan raised an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't get involved with such an influential company," he said honestly.

“You don’t need to,” Felix added. “You can just work with their son.”

“Would he be interested?”

“I believe if you give him a right amount of money, then yes,” Felix kept suggesting.

Chan’s eyes glinted swiftly as a cheeky smile painted his lips – he was pleased by the quick decision they made. “Call Jeongin to negotiate and set the price with Mr. Hwang’s son. Or would you like to do the favor, Felix?”

Felix felt a ting of nervousness run through his body. “I’d prefer not, sir. He’s a frequent customer.”

“A customer?” Chan provoked teasingly. “I thought you’re working for me and he’s not our customer.”

His eyebrows lifted in surprise. “I am?”

“Yes, you are.”

Felix’s eyes glanced around a bit, he was expecting a paper or some kind of document to have signed rather than this. “Do I have to sign anything?”

The two men glanced among themselves and broke into a laugh. “Oh, no, no, Felix,” Chan gave him a warming smile. “A vast majority of our work is illegal. We don’t do no certificates. It’s all negotiation and planning.”

“Oh…” he got a little embarrassed for asking such a thing. “Am I hired then?”

Chan approached him slowly, still having that eerie smile of his. He placed a hand on the back of Felix’s neck and massaged it quite firmly. It reminded him of yesterday, the time when he’d almost gotten his throat cut and he didn’t know if he should be scared or proud. However, it felt like Chan was encouraging him despite all of the previous incidents they had had.

“You’ve been hired the moment you stepped into the house, darling,” he brushed a hand through his hair, almost like he was trying to make up for that time when Felix felt like his hair was getting ripped off. “I knew you’d be useful.”

Felix’s heart fastened from the compliment. 

However, the pride didn’t last long as he remembered something. He was supposed to be home with Minnie, and he knew his best friend wasn’t going to give in another bullshit excuse. He had to go home.  
“Sir,” he hesitated a little when Chan looked down at him. “I have to be somewhere right now.”

Chan gestured Changbin to head out – he wasn’t needed anymore. Then, he tilted his head and left Felix’s skin and hair to breathe. “Where exactly?”

“Home. Someone’s waiting for me.”

“Your friend, Seungmin?”

Felix pulled away from Chan in surprise, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. “How do you know his name?”

Chan grinned and pretended to think. “Well,” he procrastinated, “I know much about you now that you’re under my hand.”

“Yeah, but I still have to go, sir.”

“No,” Chan pushed him back to the chair. “You’re gonna stay here tonight. So go and make up an excuse or I’ll personally visit your friend to inform him.”

“But you don’t-“

“Do you understand?” he smiled and cocked his head to the side.

“Yes, sir…”

In a brief amount of time, Chan completely let go of him. He get to the middle of the kitchen and stretched himself, cracking his neck and knuckles while doing so.

When Chan turned his back to him, Felix found himself get slightly embarrassed when he started taking his shirt off. Before completely flushing, he saw Chan’s muscles flex when he lifted the shirt off and threw it on the floor.

He turned around just before culpability got the best of him, only to hear Chan say calmly. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to take a shower,” he started walking away. “But you can make yourself comfortable in the first room to the right.”

Felix refused to turn around until Chan was completely gone from the kitchen. That man was completely out of his mind, and Felix didn’t know why on dear Earth he started growing a liking to such a madman.

Was he going crazy, too?


	7. Felix

Felix's eyes opened as a result of someone tapping his shoulder. He had forgotten how, when or where he had fallen asleep, and he for sure didn't care at this right moment. All he wanted to do was continue dreaming.

"Someone's calling you non-stop," he heard a voice behind his head, sleepy and hoarse.

"Let them call," Felix didn't know what he was saying.

The last thing he remembered was being it the kitchen and waiting for someone to tell him what to do. Chan hadn't instructed him on anything, hence he had thought that waiting had been the best idea. He hadn't drunk any particular beverage to forget last night and he hadn't consumed anything but water. Perhaps hunger had something to do with his delirium. 

Whoever was lying beside him shifted in place in a bothersome manner. Felix had only realized it was Chan when the man hovered over him to grab the phone and check who was being so annoying at this hour. 

"Answer your Minnie and tell him not to fucking worry," Chan shoved the phone into Felix's face as his expression grew infuriating. "Who the fuck has time to call 16 times?!" 

Felix grabbed the phone reluctantly and slugged his finger across the answer button. "Hello?" he said tiredly. 

"Why aren't you home?!" Seungmin yelled from the other side. 

Maybe it was a mistake Felix answered it without a proper plan for he caught himself stuttering. What was he thinking? He couldn't possibly tell him he was currently lying in bed with a leader of drug dealers from District 9, let alone anyone else other than Seungmin himself. 

Chan peeped up to look him in the eyes while he talked to prevent any kind of blabbering. And it worked - it woke Felix up. 

"Uh... Minnie, I'm fine," he checked the time. It was 5 am. "I'm still working." 

"How?! How could you possibly work for more than 12 hours for two days in a row?!" Seungmin's patience gave up. "Where are you right now?" 

Felix's eyes widened when he couldn't think about any fake location and Chan gave him no hint. He let Felix make stuff up on his own - no intervening. 

"I'll tell you about it when I'm home. You can go back to sleep," he started with a stutter but got confidence along the sentence. 

There was a long pause on the other line and Felix finally heard a sound that indicated Seungmin hung up. He didn't even tell him bye from how mad he was. 

In silence, the two of them lay in bed - Felix was stressed about this whole thing and Chan looked like he couldn't give less of a fuck. A new idea had to light in his head for Felix was going to be in a lot of obnoxious trouble if he didn't start making the shit up right now. Though, he couldn't pick his sleepy head up and do so. Instead, he turned to Chan and watched the man drowse back to sleep in a matter of brief seconds. 

His pale face had a light shine to it and his chest was half-covered with a blanket. If it weren't for the black ink, Felix would've completely missed the small tattoo on his upper chest - a skull. It didn't carry much detail and it was definitely not Felix's cup of tea, but it was cute. Who would've thought a death symbol could be cute? Or it was maybe the fact that Chan's plump lips looked cute while he slept and Felix just mistakenly connected the two.

"Is that real?" Felix waited for Chan's eyes to open up to point at the tattoo. 

"Yeah, that's our gang's symbol," he turned his back to Felix and the younger one felt a ting of disrespect. "Changbin and Jisung have it too." 

"What did they have to do to acquire it?" Felix peeped up over Chan's shoulder.

Chan shook to his touch and buried his face in a pillow. "Go to sleep and stop being annoying. It's 5 in the morning."

He was right - Felix should've turned around and continued sleeping, but instead he kept staring at the man's back. Frankly, he couldn't decide which was more embarrassing to look at: his bare chest or his bare back. Either way, it was too much for his shy eyes.

And how did Felix possibly end up next to Chan in a random bed?

"Whose bed is this?"

To this question, Chan gave up trying to ignore the younger boy next to him. "Mine."

"I don't remember how I fell asleep last night..." a hint of fear tinted Felix's words and Chan felt the need to reassure that everything was okay.

"You fell asleep in the kitchen while waiting for me. I got you here because we have no excess beds right now and I didn’t want you sleeping on a couch."

Felix gave him a swift nod and turned his body around. Something in him seemed off and he couldn’t figure it out. Light pokes of nausea drifted him back to sleep and woke him up in frequent series. Unfortunately, he couldn’t fight it with all his might and he soon knew that he was gonna need a bathroom.

“Sir,” he poked Chan, whose eyelids were already fully closed. “I don’t feel so good.”

Chan frowned, but refused to open his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

The sickness attacks were now starting to hit him harder than before – to the extent where he had to readjust his lying position and possibly stand up if the energy was on his side. However, that looked like the most difficult job to do when his esophagus clenched.

“I have to throw up.”

Right as he was about to start coughing, a pair of strong arms seized around him and dragged him out of the room. No gentle pushes and carrying, more like dragging and shoving.

Chan put him next to a toilet and held his bangs back, thankfully not ripping them like before. He patted his back and let his body do the rest. And, frankly, it didn’t take long for that final obnoxious strike to twist his guts and redden his pretty eyes.

All of that fear that had previously built up washed away in a couple of waves or so. He felt relief as the sweet and sour taste in his mouth became almost unnoticeable. 

That was the way Felix dealt with his anxiety attacks, but right now he knew this wasn’t just anxiety. Anxiety often didn’t have a valid excuse for its existence and Felix knew right this whole gang situation was utterly valid. Fear roiled his thoughts – fear of Minnie being disappointed and fear of being near this man and his friends.

Most certainly, Felix would’ve pushed Chan away if he hadn’t been the only thing holding him up right now. God, he would’ve punched him as well.

“Are you done?” Chan said coldly, like he saw this every day.

With closed eyes, Felix gave him a short ‘yes’ and let those strong arms draw him back up to the sink. He rinsed his mouth and waited for conscience to arrive back into his head. 

However, he only got tears to arrive. Chan didn’t realize he was crying until he took a deep breath and sobbed right after it.

“Felix?” he watched him in surprise. “What’s wrong?”

He turned around and leaned his back on the sink, still refusing to look Chan in the eyes. ”I wanna go home.”

“No, no, no,” Chan wiped the tears away and pulled him out of the bathroom. “You can go back to bed. You’ll feel better.”

Based on the man’s look, Felix knew he was trying to help but he didn’t know how. And Felix couldn’t blame him for the way he was raised and taught to behave for he had always had someone by his side, be it Minnie or his parents. He didn’t know what or whom Chan had, but he knew it had been hard for him just by the way he talked and acted.

He couldn’t learn how to care in a world full of hatred.

After a few short pushes through the hallway, they were back into the room. Chan sat him onto the bed and told him to lie down while he gets another blanket. And Felix did so without reluctance. He wasn't really ready for the day and a couple more hours of sleep seemed like a god's gift right now.

Felix lay down as soon as Chan closed the door and took the advantage to analyze his room. It was just as he imagined it to be - without much decoration and appreciation of details, but with undoubtedly expensive furniture. His bed was the highlight of the room for it was placed in the middle with its back touching the wall. The rest of the things looked quite small, but new and Felix knew Chan used this room mostly for sleeping and nothing else.

A pair of framed pictures caught his eye when he heard the footsteps approaching. Both of them had this weird abstract overflows of paint that matched. In a brief matter of time Felix concluded that Chan loved art way more than people because every single picture they had hanging on the wall had no people on it whatsoever.

The door opened rather politely as Chan entered the room once again with a thicker blanket in his arms.

Felix waited for him to cover his slim body, but Chan just left the fluffy sheet next to his legs without a second thought.

Frankly, Felix did and did not want Chan to do such a generous thing. He was still under the impression of him putting a knife to his throat, although he wanted somebody to be close to him and scare the fear away while he slept peacefully. Seungmin would've been the best at doing so, but there was no Seungmin at this moment. Just Chan and his persuading glances.

…

Those three hours felt like 15 minutes at the most. His eyelids were still heavy and his mouth was dry. 

“Dress up.”

Felix turned his head upwards only to see Chan who was lightly slapping his own face to wake up and prepare his senses for the day. Disregarding the fact that he had barely recognized Chan from the blurriness, Felix stood up without a thought.

In little but no time, Chan gave him some clothes – all black for the matter of being one of their own now. To be honest, Felix didn’t know how come Chan already treat him as a member when it’s only been two days since they had met for the first time. But what did he know about this gang’s treatments? He barely met them as well and acted like he was the most important gem of them all.

Don’t become vain, Felix reminded himself.

Felix slid into the plain black shirt with no problem. The only drawback is that both the shirt and the shorts were a tad bigger than his usual clothes, but therefore they felt a lot more comfortable.  
"Come," Chan gestured him to get out of the room.

As they entered the kitchen, Chan frowned at the sight and Felix didn't know why he was doing so.

"Check the bathroom and tell me if Changbin's in there," he demanded as he leaned on the table and rubbed his eyes.

Felix quickly glanced into the open room and shook his head in response. "No, sir. He's not here."

As he said so, Chan bit his cheek. He looked like he was trying to cool down the boiling blood inside of himself. And, in a short amount of time, he was heading into Changbin's room.

The sight was more than bothering for they found Changbin shivering in his bed with a few layers of blankets covering him. His teeth was chattering. Although he looked like freezing, his face was drenched in sweat.

"Woah, there," Chan approached him hastily. "What happened?"

Changbin was too busy to answer his question. Therefore, Chan stood up and stormed out of the room only to come back seconds later with a sleepy Minho in his tow.

"What the hell? Is he having a fever?" Minho bent over to check his body temperature, eyes narrowed from morning dizziness. "Shit... I'll get him something anti-inflammatory."

"Go."

He disappeared for a moment, but it was enough time for Chan to tuck his friend in with one more blanket.

"Christ, Changbin, where'd you get this?" Chan spoke in disbelief and Changbin only shook his head as if he was saying 'I don't know'.

Right as Minho came back with a tray of cloths, ice and drugs, Chan headed out.

"I have to go over the documents for today. I'll be back soon," he sighed. "Make sure he doesn't die."

Minho snorted. "Stop speaking nonsense."

Before Chan was about to close the door, Felix cooed from the lonely corner of the room. "Uh... Sir? What do I do?"

"Stay there and help Minho," he closed it.

Ever since, the room felt uncomfortably silent. The only thing that Felix could hear were Changbin's chattering teeth and dramatic exhales.

He watched Minho pull the sheets away from the shivering man and give him a small pill. He took it by reluctance and leaned back after sipping some water to down it easier.

"I can help you hold the ice," Felix offered as Minho started wrapping it with cloth.

"I don't need your help," he responded without much of an expression. "Just sit and watch."

He did so without complaining while eyeing his odd methods of lowering the body temperature. Felix had never seen anyone place the cloth-rolled ice behind someone's knees and the crook between their upper and forearm, as well as their neck. He packed the man in ice and just occasionally removed it to dry the cloth.

When Felix was in charge of treating Seungmin's fever, he always placed the soaked cloth on his forehead because he saw other people do it. It might or might not have helped, but it made Seungmin sigh in relief every time he did so.

Felix wanted to intervene and tell Minho to place one on his forehead, but he had rather listened to his first demand and, therefore, stayed quiet. Chan would've hated it if he saw Felix being annoying on his first day here.

Minho rubbed his eyes tiredly. “His brother is dying and he’s going over the stupid documents,” he spit the words bitterly, yet quietly. “Unbelievable.”

Although Felix’s heart was beating faster than usual, he was sure this was not something to panic over. Everyone catches a cold at some point in their life and they usually survive it with no further complications. Apart from that, Changbin was physically too strong to die from such a small thing and Felix didn’t doubt he was gonna be energetically jumping tomorrow.

“Is sir always like that?” Felix whispered in curiosity when Minho dramatically turned his head. He took a moment to process his thoughts.

“Not always,” he sounded hurt. “Sometimes he really cares, but sometimes I can’t tell him apart from a psychopath. He unintentionally plays with everyone’s feelings if you haven’t concluded.”

“Maybe he just has drastic mood-swings?”

Minho scoffed to himself as he wiped the melted ice water from Changbin’s chest. “Fuck his mood-swings, then. I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t cried after yesterday because of his fucking temperament.”

Oh, if only Minho knew how his morning went. 

Felix wanted to tell him about what happened a few hours ago, but his trusty intuition was advising him to keep it for himself. Maybe Minho was saying all of this just to snitch on him later and tell Chan all about it. No, Felix knew better and he didn’t want to judge people this early into the game.

Suddenly, the door swung open and took Felix by surprise. Chan was standing at the entrance, side leaned on the door frame as he checked what was going on.

“Is he better?”

“No, Chan. The drug takes a bit more than 15 minutes to show effects,” Minho responded politely, yet there was a ting of irritation in his voice.

“Then stay with him until it starts working. Felix and I have a job to do.”

“We do?” Felix jabbed his head to Chan.

“Yes, we do.”

The two of them left Minho to nurse Changbin while they got into the car. Chan wanted Felix to be his driver and the younger had no complaints about it. The ride was rather silent, Felix didn't know what this reckless man was up to. Nothing about his posture was odd, nor his acting. Just the fact that he didn't part his still-plump lips to speak. 

They arrived at Chevalier Club in 25 short minutes and that was the time Felix had asked him the question. 

"What are we doing here, sir?" 

"Waiting for Jeongin." 

"Who's Jeongin?" 

And then he saw a younger man approach them, posture straight as a plank. He had a heartwarming smile on his face and feline eyes - almost like a fox. His style of dressing was rather formal, but simple and Felix found himself admiring the younger man's well-shown figure as much as his facial features. 

"Good day, sir," he bowed slightly to Chan and offered a hand to Felix. "You must be Felix." 

The blonde returned him the smile and shook his hand. "And you must be Jeongin." 

He nodded. "Sir told me about you and Mr. Hwang yesterday." 

Honestly, Felix didn't know when Chan had found the time to inform Jeongin about him. Boy, it was starting to get creepy how fast information travelled among gangs and their members.   
"Why don't we continue the conversation inside?" Chan suggested, but it sounded more like a command. 

"Of course, of course," the smile on Jeongin's face remained as Felix wondered where he gets the energy to shine so delightfully. 

Something about the younger boy seemed off to Felix for he barely moved his face to anything akin to serious. Yes, his smile was indeed pretty, but Felix pondered if Jeongin was a rather skilled negotiator or just an utterly jubilant boy. Though, he had to be good at something if he had been working with Chan for long. 

As they entered the almost empty club, all of the present guests shifted their gazes to look at the three of them and Felix hated it from the bottom of his guts. Chan hastily moved among the tables and the two younger boys followed him in tow. He approached one of the waiters and cleaned his throat. 

"Booked séparé for 9 am."

The waiter gestured them to a free table that was further away from the rest of the sitting area. While on the way, Felix used the free time to examine the interior of the club. He had never been inside although he had been working at that place for several months now. And it, indeed, looked as pretty as people hailed it - black walls with a few neon lights at every crook and corner. And the separated sitting area looked exactly like its price - big and bourgeois. 

They all made themselves comfortable after Chan had insisted on Felix sitting next to him and across Jeongin. 

Chan tilted his head slightly and gave Jeongin a warm smile. "I'm all ears." 

Felix felt at relief when he was the other boy's face shift to something other than a dumb smile. As a matter of fact, he looked professional. "I contacted Mr. Hwang as soon as I found his email address. I tried not to seem suspicious while composing the email and he seemed interested in cooperation from what I've got as a response." 

"Did you mention anything about us?" Chan leaned back, thoughts focused on what Jeongin was saying. 

"No, sir. I gave him a link to a fake company and confessed that we have a problem with one of our ex-workers who stole company's private information." 

Chan chuckled lightly. "You've always been a creative liar." 

"Always will be, sir," he shifted in place rather comfortably. "Also, I've asked his manager if all of this could be secret to the public world because the situation was rather embarrassing and they told me not to worry." 

"Perfect." 

Felix couldn't help but stare in awe for how easy making an agreement seemed when Jeongin talked about it. He wondered if he could perhaps beat the lie detector test if he was ever put against one. The only thing that amazed him more than Jeongin's abilities was the fact that Chan was able to talk him into doing this gang's dirty work and what kind of a manipulator Chan had to be to succeed in such a thing. 

“Oh, and also,” the youngest turned around to grab his small backpack – the one akin to something college students would carry to their classes. “This is yours.”

With eyes full of confusion and mouth with little but no words, Felix asked. “What’s this?”

He carefully examined the stapled paper in front of him. He had to get used to seeing such documents for they were all over the table in Chan’s room as well as the chiffonier in corner of their kitchen. He swore Chan would throw those papers as roses at his funeral if he ever had one.

“Fake job documents with even faker signing,” he smiled sweetly. “Chan asked for one since he knew your best friend would cause unnecessary drama. You can show this to him when you go home or-“

“Don’t show it to him,” Chan advised. Now that Felix was looking at his new boss, everything started getting into a deep hole of tension. The man’s gaze was almost persuading – every aspect of it told Felix to listen and as he said with no further complaints. 

“Let him find it,” Chan moved his hand onto the table as he explained. “I know people who are like Seungmin and I’m sure he’ll find it suspicious if you directly show him the documents. Thus, place them rather casually somewhere in the house, maybe your desk or a table, and let him find it. Tell him you’ve found a better job than your previous one and quit it today.” Chan gave him smile, but it seemed more of like a smirk to Felix. “From now on, you are my personal driver.”

Those words woke a shiver into his body and stopped him from taking a breath. “As you wish, sir.”

Soon, all of them left the club. Jeongin headed to the city center, saying that he had another meeting with someone else, and Chan and Felix went straight to the car. 

Felix realized that the more time he spent with his boss, the less scared he felt. He had never felt uncomfortable or judged when he was with Chan, although, he felt this ting of unexpectedness wander around Chan like a guard dog. He never knew when he was going to feel like putting a knife to his throat yet again, and he most certainly didn’t want to experience it again.

“Your flat,” Chan told him the location as they seated themselves and Felix shot him a confused glare.

“My flat?”

“Stop repeating my commands and do as I say.”

Without a further thought, he started driving toward his and Seungmin’s flat, afraid that something was going to happen. The last thing he wanted on this Earth was Seungmin getting involved in gang activity and feeling what he had felt these past few days – terrified for his life.

Although Felix knew he would’ve woken up brand new if he had died, he was still scared of it for no apparent reason other than pain. That’s what he had felt this morning and that’s what he would continue feeling as long as he had business with Chan.

As soon as they were in front of his flat, Felix got out and Chan replaced his position as a driver. “Don’t fuck it up,” Chan told him harshly, like Felix didn’t know what would happen if he did so.

“I won’t, sir.”

“Good,” he sounded satisfied. “Now go and lie your way through this.”

A smile peeked up Felix’s lips and he was off to their flat, pace steady and confident for the first time in a while. However, a thought lingered around his head as he looked at the papers and the rest of his body.

“Uhh… Sir…?” he panicked a little.

Chan’s head peeked through the car window as he frowned. “What?”

“How do I explain your clothes?”


	8. Chan

The moment after Chan had lifted his gaze from the papers, everything around him felt dim and blurry. His eyes couldn’t see the details properly – wooden pattern on their kitchen table looked like a solid brown color, the shine of their dishes disappeared as well as the stars on his favorite picture on the wall. To be honest, he couldn’t even see the wolf properly.

It’s been a couple of days since he had last seen the blonde boy. Allegedly, he asked if he could stay home for the weekend to make a delusion of his fake work to Seungmin. Because businessmen often had a pause during the weekends. Chan thought the whole assumption was rather absurd for he was a known businessman among the districts and he worked every day of the week – no pauses, no vacations, no time.

Instead of having a family lunch with the closest members of his gang, he buried his face into the papers for solid 5 hours. If he continued skipping breakfast every day, he wasn’t gonna go far. His muscles needed protein and carbs to function, and if he loses his muscle mass and strength, his business would sink to its rock bottom.

He wouldn’t have the force to avenge everything that was taken from him long ago.

Changbin was still feeling sore from his illness – his appetite was as low as his high school grades. Jisung needed time to recover and heal his wounds – it had only been a few hours since he had managed to open his left eye. And Minho? He was the worst of them all.

He hated physical abuse and seeing his closest friends suffer. Sometimes Chan thought Minho was more eager to kill Kim’s men than Chan himself – but that wasn’t possible. Nobody hated Kim more than Chan.

And that was the major difference between Changbin and Chan. Changbin learned how to forgive and let go of stuff to have a better life and Chan grasped all of his mistakes that had later turned into vindictive thoughts and kept ruining him inside.

… 

Chan was 14 at the time.

He couldn’t have waited for his classes to finish, so he left early to light up a cig with his friends who were ever so slightly older than him. 

Casually, he walked out of the school. The on-duty students thought it was weird for him to leave this early, but nobody had the guts to tell Bangs’ little baby boy his business. His mother was a lawyer and his father was the head of a bank chain all over Seoul. And no living soul wanted problems with their only son, Chan.

Apart of the school’s delinquents to be exact.

They treated Chan as everybody else and that was the exact reason Chan liked them in the first place. Befriending them meant learning to swear, throw punches, drink and smoke. They all knew Chan was under peer-pressure when he had gotten drunk for the first time, but Chan genuinely didn’t care. Instead, he enjoyed being a part of their little group.

Soyi wasn’t exactly his best friend, but she was his favorite person among them. She was two years older than him and, while looking into her eyes, Chan found himself looking into a sister he never had.  
As he came closer to the small bridge that connected two watersides of a rather timid river, the first thing he did was search for her. When he saw her blonde-colored hair, he couldn’t help but yell out her name in excitement.

“Soyi!”

She turned from the small crowd of teenagers to look in the direction of his voice that had recently began cracking every other sentence. “Hey, kiddo.”

“What are you guys doing?” Chan approached them with curiosity.

“What we always do,” she smiled and offered him a cigarette from her own hand. “What a smoke?”

Chan eagerly leaned forward and let his lips touch her hand as he inhaled the deadly smoke. His lungs got used to it and for the first time in his life he didn’t need to cough it out.

“Good boy! You’re growing up so fast,” she mimicked proud-mother crying and patted his head as the rest of the crowd threw a couple of whistles and claps when they saw his improvement.

“Come on, give him another!” he heard someone shout from the back.

Soyi did so without a doubt and Chan was more than happy to show them again how good he’s getting at smoking. She placed it between his lips and let him do the rest. “Take it, honey. You deserve it.”

With a barely lit up cigarette and a group of people cheering for him, Chan felt extremely appreciated and wanted. Perhaps, a bit too much for his spoiling mind.

He was the youngest among them and that fact had possibly caused all of his friends to be weirdly supportive about such activities. They offered him alcohol a week ago and, based on that obnoxious experience, Chan had only learned that such beverage made his poor tummy hurt. He didn’t feel good drinking it ever if Soyi promised it would be worth it.

After a few minutes, the crowd disbanded and they were formed into smaller groups of few people. Chan always stuck to Soyi no matter where she went, only to tell her about his day. Most of his stories were based on being disobedient because that’s when she felt the proudest of him.

“I skipped class today to come here,” Chan started cheekily when the rest of the group began going home.

“Is that so?” she raised her eyebrows and mirrored his expression. “Such a bad boy, Chan,” she poked his shoulder teasingly.

“You haven’t even witnessed the half of my full potential.”

“I doubt I’ve witnessed a fifth of it.”

“Maybe not even a sixth.”

“Bad boy?” she said theatrically. “I only know Bang Chan.”

They both giggled their way into the endless hole of their sense of humor. Chan really enjoyed having her around for she was not scared to throw random jokes on his expense. She was fun to talk to – never judging, shaming nor gossiping. And she felt like butterfly in a world full of hornets.

That night he came home late - just before his father entered the house. Chan was already in his room and his mother was washing her hair in the bathroom. He couldn't have possibly thought of washing his own hoodie that was drowned in smoke odor. And as a matter of fact, his father noticed the smell, but his brain couldn't accuse Chan of anything. Chan was his little boy after all.

"Will there be one damn day that this house wouldn't smell of cigarettes?! Am I, perhaps, going to find bags of weed tomorrow?" his father shouted in fury as soon as he entered the house.

"Me?!" Chan's mother jolted from the bathroom. "This house smells fine to-" she paused as something unfamiliar hit her senses. "The moment I walk into the hallway, I start to smell cigarettes and you accuse me of smoking?! Get out of my house!"

Chan heard all of it from upstairs, but he was too afraid to come down and tell them. His cowardice was ruining their relationship.

"If you come home high one more time, I'll fill the papers gladly and divorce you!" his mother's voice was on the verge of breaking and he could almost hear the tears in her eyes.

"Do it now!"

"I will!"

That night Chan couldn't stop crying. He didn't want to be there anymore, this house was suffocating him. Or, perhaps, those were his hands that suffocated his parents.

Instead, he typed a quick message and tied the blankets together, escaping the hell through the window. Running as fast as he could, he thought about it a million times, but he just wanted genuine friends and attention. It surely came with great cost and he often wondered if he had perhaps gotten robbed for being naïve.

Reaching the place, he glanced at his phone to see if Soyi responded to his messages. She said she was coming right away to their meeting place. That place was a small sitting area very few people used. It was a circle of benches made of cement with a giant tree in the middle. Its specialty was not its beauty, yet the fact that it was next to a river. The river cleaned his lungs after smoking and it calmed him down – like a rehab of some sort.

Chan sat on the cold stone bench and waited patiently for Soyi to appear, like a lost baby duck waiting for its mom to come back. His eyes almost gave up on holding tears, but he reminded himself that, according to his father, boys shouldn’t cry. Especially not in front of girls. And he most certainly wasn’t willing to be Soyi’s crybaby.

He buckled his legs together and hugged them desperately while the thoughts of his parents breaking up lingered in his mind. A worst kind of torture, he thought.

His senses came back to reality when he felt a timid poke to his shoulder.

“What’s wrong kid? You look hurt,” Soyi sat next to him, offering him another cigar like he hasn’t had enough already.

Chan shook his head with red eyes. “I just didn’t want to be home.”

She smiled lightly. “Me too, sometimes.”

“Do your parents fight often?”

"Only when they are home."

Chan gave her a smile just for the sake of responding as she lit up their cigarettes. An angel on his shoulder was telling him that he can't extinguish fire with gasoline, yet the devil's talk sounded sweeter.

Now that his lungs got used to it, he was able to finish the whole thing - smoke by smoke. Soyi didn't look proud this time. She was concerned for Chan's being, his future and grades, his joy. It would've haunted her if she was the one to kill what's precious to him.

They didn't speak for an hour now, since company was all Chan needed. He watched people go by their sitting place one after the other and wondered when he'd be able to come back to his parents. God, he was sure they didn't care about him at this point.

Soon, a group of younger adults approached the tow of them, asking Soyi for a lighter.

"No," she responded impetuously.

At first, Chan thought those guys were just another group of delinquents from another school. However, as he got to examine their clothes and faces better, he realized none of them were young enough to attend high school. They were all dressed in black, unlike him and Soyi. The only accessory of hue they had was a decorative blue bandana. Most of them wore it around their huge biceps and the other few had it tied around their wrists.

"Girl, I know you have it," one of them spoke in an annoyed manner.

She hissed. "Yeah, no shit. I know I have it, too."

To her response, the guy who spoke started shoving his hand-rolled goods in her face and Chan had no guts to respond to their behavior. He was frightened to witness something akin to this. 

"Get the fuck away from my face you junkie!" Soyi slapped his hand away and grabbed Chan to run away.

Suddenly, those few guys looked like a horde to Chan's stinging eyes when they grabbed her back and pinned onto the bench. One of them held Chan up by a collar and raised him so he was barely touching the ground. For a few seconds he was sure he'd be gasping for air in a short amount of time, but suffocating was the least important when he saw two of the them raising Soyi as well and bending her over the fence, head hanging a few meters from the strong river flow.

"Don't say 'no' to Kim's men, honey," he brushed her dangling hair to the side. "That's our worst pet-peeve."

Chan thought seeing his parents argue was the worst thing in the world. However, after that moment, Soyi's screams before falling into the river haunted his ears for what felt like an eternity. They pocketed her right before the disaster and laughed it off like she wasn't just a young girl.

Disgusting, Chan deemed.

"And you boy," the leader of their group tilted his head. "I hope you learned the lesson as well."

Chan felt his spine arch as the devil's workers snatched his phone and threw him over as well. No pity, no mercy.

Falling felt like flying for those two seconds, but Chan knew he wasn't going to experience it again after dying. He was certain hell was going to be his future home, burning - his torture and the little devils - his friends.

Yet, he hoped Soyi would be an angel at last.

When his head hit the bursting stream, he swore he heard his mom sing and felt his dad's hand on his own. Fighting, he tried to push against the waves, swing after swing, but his slim arms couldn't possibly beat the overwhelming power stream.

Hence, he let go. His life was just another petal in the field of blossoming flowers. It simply didn't have such a high value, nor a meaning, and his words barely differed from a whisper. 

But pity it was to see him gasp for air as he hit the shore that night. He was completely alone with water in his windpipe and lifeless hope in his eyes. 

Although Soyi was to drown that night, Chan was certain she wasn't alone. He felt like a part of him died in that river too, though he managed to open his eyes and cough if out.

He begged her to do the same, but she wasn't responding. He intentionally opened her eyes to make her look, but she couldn't focus. He slapped her a couple of times, but she didn't get mad. 

Wherever she was gone, Chan knew she felt better than here and he desperately wanted to see her smile. 

But we never get what we want in the end. 

... 

"Chan?" 

We really never get what we want in the end. 

"You look tired." 

He was, indeed, very, very tired. He wanted to sleep. 

"Are you okay?" 

All of a sudden, Chan wasn't at the shore anymore. Minho was circling his arm around his shoulder as his vision cleared into a pile of damn papers. 

He looked up and saw the ginger peeking a smile back to him. 

"Do you need anything?" Minho brushed Chan's black locks away from his face. 

Yes, he needed so much, but he couldn't have any of it. "I need to get away." 

Minho let out a light-hearted huff. "Get away? Where, Chan?" 

Somewhere where he had something to lose. "I don't know." 

"To the backyard?" 

No. "Sure." 

Chan let Minho drag him out of the house with reluctance. Chan would've never guessed it was a cloudy afternoon. It felt like midnight in his head.

Minho pushed him onto the grass and watched him sigh as his head bopped against the half-dead green strings. 

"You wanna talk about it?" Minho asked as he lay next to his friend. 

It took him a moment to feel Minho's hand on his pale face, but when he finally did he pushed it away. 

"There's nothing to talk about." 

"I know there is. You just don't want to open up to me in particular," Minho lay back on his back and watched the clouds along with Chan.

"You are completely right, baby." 

"I'm always right."

Chan tried to find something in those immense clouds, but his eyes kept seeing the obnoxious waves he hated so dearly. It was driving him insane, as well as the fact that Minho knew about how he felt at this right moment. Why was he wanting to help Chan anyways after so many fights and insults? God, he wanted to suffocate that part of Minho that forgave him every time he fucked up. 

"Can you kiss me?" Minho's voice sang a whisper. "It'll help you feel better." 

"No, it'll help you feel wanted, baby." 

Minho giggled. "That too, but I'm sure it will help distract you." 

"I don't need distraction. I need to work," Chan growled in annoyance. 

"Can you stop saying nonsense out of spite and just kiss me for goddamn once?" 

Chan actually never minded kissing Minho. He only refused to do so just to hurt him and make his hatred grow. 

But for once, Chan let his head fall onto Minho's as his lips brushed against the younger's skin. His hand cupped Minho's cheek and caressed it gently. And who would've thought that someone so reckless could touch so warmly. 

As their lips finally met, Chan's mind flashed a scene that probably should've never been imagined, and hence he repulsively twitched his head away from Minho's burning face. 

"What?" the younger asked full of confusion. 

Something like this had never happened and Chan desperately wanted to tell him that it was nothing, but what he just saw definitely wasn't nothing. 

"Kiss me again," Minho barely whined and seized Chan's shirt to come closer. 

However, the older hesitated for a brief second for he was afraid he'd see those dark eyes again and feel lips that weren't familiar to his own. He closed his eyes and leaned in again, now sure he's going crazy from the feeling. 

He felt freckles beneath his fingertips and Minho didn't have a goddamn clue.


	9. Felix

“An omelet? Again?”

Felix was once again stuck into a tense situation although it was just breakfast time. Choosing a meal seemed like choosing an engagement ring to Chan and the younger one didn’t know why he was so picky about the food he ate.

“Do as I say,” Chan said without bothering.

“But you ate that yesterday and the day before that.”

Chan narrowed his eyes at Felix and said harshly. “And I will eat it tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after the day after tomorrow.”

At this point, Felix was already in the act of salting the eggs. Honestly, he felt proud at a certain degree for Chan let him prepare the meals. Usually, Minho was the one in charge of making food and cleaning, as well as being a lab chief. Changbin was out of the house as soon as his body recovered and Jisung was nowhere to be seen from the day of beating. He was probably working as well, Felix thought.

In a few brief minutes, Felix placed the plate before Chan’s piercing eyes and watched him judge the dish before grabbing the fork. He took a nonchalant bite and looked back at the boy as he chewed. 

A timid smile peeked Chan’s lips and he suddenly felt at ease. “You don’t have to wait for my reaction every time you prepare a meal, Felix. I know it’s good, nevertheless.”

The blonde’s cheeks brushed a mild scarlet. He felt proudness linger through his body as this was the first compliment he has gotten in a while. It for sure didn’t happen often enough for him to just feel at ease.

“Thank you,” Felix barely cooed to himself.

Chan got back to his food. “You are gonna regret saying that after today’s work.”

Ah, yes. It was only the fourth day of his official work and Felix was already feeling stressed when Chan mentioned work. He knew there were some problems with adjacent gangs, but he wasn’t sure what they were about, let alone what Chan was going to do about it.

However, his stars were definitely bending over the future. Felix knew this wasn’t going to end well, but he wasn’t certain at what degree. It could be just a nose-break or a bitten tongue, or it could be death in the worst scenario. But he trusted Chan, nevertheless. If Chan held his hair and dragged him into the bathroom that day, he could pull him out of a shitty situation without breaking a sweat. Felix was just unsure if Chan knew the most efficient way of teaching. Or he was, perhaps, willing to show him the ride to hell and back.

“What are we doing today, sir?”

Chan procrastinated with chewing the food, although there was barely anything to chew. “I’ll show you the work around our city, yes? You’ve learned about our office work and now we are moving to a bit more serious stuff – the stuff that you can’t let yourself fuck up.”

His anxiety was now starting to get to unreachable levels. Felix wouldn’t have felt so if Chan hadn’t mentioned fucking up with such wariness. He knew he wasn’t the only one who felt 10 times more pressured when there was no room for mistakes, but regarding his current job he has to get used to harsh language, demands and extreme obligation.

Felix swallowed his fear. “Changbin’s work?”

“Yes, Changbin’s work,” Chan nodded after a few seconds. The awful slowness of his chewing was driving Felix insane for he had never met anyone who ate so sluggishly. Chan was probably enjoying the little free time he had during his busy days.

“How come you never have breakfast when you’re with me, Felix?” Chan tilted his head with a frown spread across his face. 

Those eggs and toast never seems appealing to Felix’s eyes to be honest. He preferred sweet foods during mornings and little but no sodium throughout the whole day. Though, he didn’t want to appeal, especially now that it’s almost the end of Chan’s eating time. “I don’t feel hungry, sir.”

“You never feel hungry.”

“Morning sickness.”

Chan shook his head in disbelief. “If you continue refusing meals, Kim’s men are going to crush you without breaking a sweat. Your tiny arms look even smaller to their eyes.”

But wasn’t Chan supposed to be the brawn Felix was lacking so badly? What happened to Felix being his moral assistant and driver?

“Sir, I can’t fight,” he acknowledged timidly, like he was a small chick going against a horde of hungry foxes. 

“Fighting and looking tough are two very different subjects. You don’t need to look tough to fight and vice versa,” Chan pushed his empty plate for Felix to wash it. “Just don’t be so scared when talking to people.”

Felix’s eyes widened slightly. “Uh, yes, sir.”

“See,” Chan chuckled lightly. “You’re doing it again and we are on the same team, boy.”

When Chan pushed his shoulder teasingly, Felix felt a stream of nervousness rush through his body from fear. Seeing his boss joke around was equally odd as seeing Changbin smile. It looked forced and unusual, but he smiled either way. Nevertheless, Chan’s fake playfulness was way more appealing than his stubborn and aggressive persona.

“See that bag over there?” Chan pointed at a black backpack across the room, lying on the floor in front of the other door. “Bring it over here.”

From how full it looked like, Felix assumed it would’ve felt heavy. Instead it felt like a bunch of cotton stuffed into a teddy bear, although that was far from what was inside.

When he brought the bag in front of him, he swore Chan’s mouth watered a little, like it’s been a while since he had seen so many envelopes stuck into one place. One by one, he picked them out, eyed them carefully and handed them to Felix.

“Read everything that’s on the back,” he demanded.

Felix cleared his throat and began. “From Jane to Park 3, 24th of October, 2020.”

Chan checked the box on his paper, then grabbed another envelope and pushed it to Felix. “Next.”

Felix didn’t know what the first part of the signature meant, but he continued either way. “From Christina to Lee 7, 24th of October, 2020.”

They went on like that for solid 15 minutes and Felix barely had any idea who Christina, Jane, Candy, Lucy and Jelly were, and why Chan signed their names instead of his own. 

“Who are those women and why do they have foreigner names, sir?” Felix tilted his head shamelessly, voice in a higher pitch than before.

For a brief second, Chan stared back at the younger boy with confused eyes. Then, he burst into dozen of laughs with little but no remorse for the confused blonde. God, he was laughing so hard he had to hold the table not to fall back on his chair.

“Oh, baby… Those aren’t women,” his hand clung to the side of Felix’s neck. “Those are drugs disguised as women’s names so pass-byers don’t take suspicion in case we mention them by happenstance.”

Oh. That made sense, although Felix didn’t remember hearing any of the mentioned names as something weird or alarming. But wasn’t that the point of it?

“I don’t know anything about drugs, sir.”

Chan gave him a reassuring smile. “You don’t have to. It’s a bunch of advanced chemistry that only Jisung and Minho can explain. Your job today is to deliver it to these guys,” he showed him a list of people with their names, order, location and deliver-time.

All of the names had some kind of number to it, which were apparently their ID numbers. Their orders were claimed by the professional science terms, aside from a few which were plant based. And Felix was well acquaintanced with all of the mentioned locations around Seoul.

Their system of drug delivery was pretty lean, Felix thought before grabbing the backpack.

“When are we starting, sir?”

Chan’s lips peeked another petite smile for he was greatly amused by the younger’s eagerness to work and learn.

"Not yet, babyboy. Our time comes later today," he slid his thumb across Felix's cheeks, passing his freckles one by one in a gentle manner.

His touch was suddenly so delightful that the blonde didn't mind this type of affection and, therefore, he leaned his face against Chan's hand. For the first time, he felt oddly close to this man and his obnoxious goals to the point where he was willing to follow him anywhere and anytime.

When Chan's finger crossed his lips, he lost his train of thoughts completely, staring back at his black pearls with equal wonder. Why was he acting this way and, more importantly, why was he giving Felix chills? 

After the brunette was finished with admiring his lips, he moved to his hair and brushed his icy bangs backwards, revealing his clean forehead which was covered with a sheen of cold sweat. 

Chan felt the bleached hair between his two fingers. "This has to go." 

"Wh-what?" he pulled away, slightly afraid. "Why?" 

"It's too pretty and eye-catching. I don't want to see you interesting any other gang leader other than myself," Chan spoke clearly and slowly, like he was lecturing him. "Do you understand?" 

"I do, but I don't want to be bald!" Felix protested dramatically. The way he fought back threw Chan off-guard and the older male was now leaning back to his chair, pleasantly surprised with hands back to himself. 

Felix didn't realize he raised his tone until he saw an amused smirk cross Chan's lips, hence he stood up and bowed to him apologetically. God, what's gotten into him? 

Chan stood up as well and Felix thought that was the end of his job for a moment, however he felt a hand raise his chin up slowly. When their eyes met once again, silence filled the immense room. Faces embarrassingly close, Felix stared into Chan's plump lips and wondered what would've happened if they accidentally, but just accidentally, touched for a brief moment. He had this odd urge to come forward and kiss him, but his poor psyche was telling him to stay put. 

"Color it."

"Color what?" 

"Your hair, Felix," he tilted his head and reminded. "That's what we were talking about." 

Right as Felix thought he couldn't take the pressure anymore, the door swung open and he jolted away from Chan, trying to act like nothing was happening at all. When he turned to the side, he saw Jisung with a slightly open mouth from surprise. 

"Hi, boss," he said rather awkwardly and placed a piece of paper on the table. "I packed the rest for tomorrow..." 

Throughout all of this time, Chan didn't seem bothered at all by Jisung's encounter. He glanced at a bunch of scribbles on the paper and sat back down. 

"I'll be leaving you alone now," Jisung laughed awkwardly and headed for the door. "Good b-" 

"Wait," he halted after Chan's words. "Take Felix with you and show him our lab." 

The two younger boys stared at each other wordlessly. Felix noticed the pinkish bruise under his eye from their previous encounter a few days ago. It seemed to heal fast, but not fast enough to erase the leftover tints of scarlet on his lip and cheekbone. 

Jisung shook his thoughts to the side and gestured Felix to come. "The lab is not very clean right now, boss. It's full of leftover drug-" 

"Teach him about that too," Chan was now refusing to look up which indicated both of them to just get lost from this room. “And don’t you dare give him any.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” Jisung let him walk out of the room first as he was bowing back to Chan.

Felix had never gone through that particular door, although there were plenty connected to the kitchen. One of them was Chan’s room, the other was Changbin’s and the last known was the front door. He didn’t know where the other three led, but he was sure to find out now that Jisung was supervising him.

Jisung had to take a hold of him for he was about to fall from the narrow stairs. It wasn’t his fault to be honest – his eyes got wrapped up in dead darkness as soon as he opened the door. They both carefully got down when the lights were turned on. And maybe they should’ve stayed off because Felix hated seeing so much cobweb in the corner of each wall to the point where he’d rather injure his ankle. 

Step after step and they were finally in front of a large metal door, all steal with another code bar just above the handle and a camera near the doorframe corner. Jisung hit exactly 6 digits before the gigantic door started creeping open in front of his scared eyes. Frankly, Felix didn’t know what to expect from his boos and his henchmen anymore.

“Can you smell that?” Jisung took a deep breath and smiled pleasantly.

Felix mimicked his actions and concluded that Jisung has a weird liking for medical drugs, since everything he could sense were medications. “Smells like hospital.”

“It does,” he chuckled lightly and opened the door to the fullest.

It took Felix a few seconds to adjust his eyes to the gleaming light, but when he did he couldn’t help but stare in awe. The whole room was covered in glistening white tiles and it had a dozen of blinding lamps hanged from the ceiling. The whole room reminded him of that time when he had gotten his wisdom teeth removed, except for the fact that this room didn’t exactly smell of anesthesia mixed with some kind of air freshener. It smelled sick.

Jisung pointed his hand to the left side of the room. “This is where we make the drugs,” then he moved it to the right side, “And this is where we pack it up for selling.”

Felix took a few seconds to analyze the whole expanse once more. “What’s that?” he pointed to a glass wall in front of them.

“That’s our herbarium,” Jisung approached the glass and pointed to a few plants here and there, however Felix didn’t bother to find what exactly he was showing. “This one is sold the most, so Minho takes good care of it, and this guy over here is just weird.”

“Who?” now he got interested.

Jisung leaned his head to Felix and pointed to a small, but cute plant with purple flowers and obsidian berries. It reminded him of someone’s eyes. “That’s the Devil’s berry.”

“The Devil’s berry? It looks pretty.”

“Take more than one of them and you won’t wake up.”

Felix showed a grimace full of revulsion. If he had lived on any mountain where these plants grew naturally, he would have died of berry poisoning. The small black pearls looked like something he'd find at the side of his morning oatmeal all the time. And it scared him how similar these looked compared to the normal, edible forest berries.

"But don't get so disturbed from those. We don't usually sell them, and when we do it's in really small portions with instructions incase people use it as a sedative," Jisung said hopefully in order to cheer him up.

When Felix looked at the other row of the other plant, he wanted to ask what it was called. Though, he knew well that it was Cannabis.

"That's Jane you're looking at. We sell her the most, although I don't really know how Minho prepares it for the market," Jisung added and left him staring through the glass window while he approached the other table. "I'd love to give you a smoke, but Chan admonished me not to."

"I'll pass either way."

Jisung passed him a surprised smile, but his eyes got back to whatever he was doing. It, indeed, was unusual for someone to refuse free goods, especially the expensive ones.

Felix came to see what Jisung was doing and soon he wished his mind hadn't come up with such an absurd idea. He saw a lot of measuring, packing and checking, and he most definitely didn't want to intervene in such important work. However, Jisung called him either way.

He explained each of them to him, told him their 'girl' names and asked him to double check the list. Felix knew this was only the easy work because anyone could weight and pack this stuff. The difficulty is in synthesizing it from scratch and giving it a value, which he frankly didn't know how to do.

Apart from that, Jisung has been very nice to him, unlike Minho and Chan. He always had a consistent persona and the way he talked seemed very open and oftentimes sarcastic. Felix needn't worry about his reactions and drastic mood-swings. And, most importantly, he wasn't scared that the bruised brunette would put a knife to his throat while he least expected it. He wanted to double-check if his intuition was right and give Jisung a Tarot read. 

“Can I give you a card reading when we are done?” he asked politely.

Jisung tilted his head and smiled, “Why? So you can tell how many children I’ll have in the next 10 years?”

“No…” Felix chuckled. “It’s not always about marriage and children. Sometimes it tells you what you need to work on to become a better person.”

“Oh, if I become any better I’ll get myself killed, Felix,” Jisung packed the tools and small plastic bags on two different piles. “Is it okay if I call you Felix?”

“Of course… sir?” he attempted to call him for he wasn’t sure if Jisung would get insulted if he called him by his name. But his reaction was totally different than what he had expected.

“Oh, no, no. Please call me Han,” he scratched his head awkwardly. “Chan is the only one you should call sir.”

“Alright, got it.”

The two of them worked tediously on sorting the small packets into different boxes and placing sticky papers to mark them as well. Two hours had passed by like it was nothing. Felix had to stretch out his legs since they’d gone numb from sitting for so long. He wondered how Chan was able to do so for more than 3 damn hours.

They climbed back up the filthy basement stairs, steps way more confident than before. Unlike the last time, he noticed that the roof of the suffocating staircase hallway had a trapdoor to its ceiling. 

Surprisingly, that door was the cleanest surface of the whole horror-way.

Felix had forgotten how fresh air smelled like when Han opened the door. It was colder and slightly drowned in someone’s perfume, and that someone wasn’t Chan.

“Don’t tell me you found Kim?” Jisung almost cried out when they saw Jeongin sitting in front of Chan.

“No,” Chan smirked amusedly. “We found his dealer’s shift. I believe he’s selling something this evening.”

Now Chan wasn’t the only one smiling in the room for Han had joined him with the same eerie expression. They were definitely planning something that Felix wasn’t aware of, be it a beating or some other type of lecturing.

“Tell him I said hi when you break his legs.”

Chan scoffed. “Break his legs? For god’s sake, Jisung, what do you think I am? A weakling?”

“In that care,” Jisung acted like he was deeply pondering. “I’d like a necklace out of his teeth and that ugly fucking bandana of theirs. It’ll be a good use as toilet paper.”

The three of them shared a couple of laughs while Felix found no fun in such brutal jokes. His sense of humor was mostly based of funny cat videos and Minnie raging over the fly that had entered their kitchen through a barely open window. And what was funny about broken teeth anyways. It surely hurt like hell.

“Was he good?” Chan asked when the laughing silenced.

“Golden,” Han grinned. “I’m not sure if he remembered any of it, but we went through tomorrow’s orders and I tried to explain what each of the drugs does.”

“Was it useful?”

“Yeah, I think it-“

“I’m asking Felix,” Chan’s voice suddenly became stern and the whole atmosphere changed. “Was it useful?”

With three pair of eyes on him, Felix felt too much pressure to be comfortable. “Y-yes…” he barely whispered.

Chan wasn’t buying it one bit. His eyes narrowed the moment Felix opened his mouth and his expression changed from strict to irritated in brief seconds. God, it was scaring Felix’s poor heart.

“Leave,” he pointed to the front door. 

Jisung and Jeongin disappeared without a second thought and Felix tried to revise what he had said wrong, but everything seemed as usual. That was the scary part.

"What have I told you about being scared, huh?" Chan began just when Felix thought silence was suffocating him. "Baby, you keep acting like I'm gonna kill you every second."

Because you are. 

"I'm sorry, sir," Felix bowed apologetically. "I'm trying to improve."

"Keep trying," he told him boldly. "We have a job to do today and I'd like you to keep me company."

Oftentimes, Felix found himself being obnoxiously terrified from Chan, and the other times he felt at safety. There was no in-between. Right now he was fearing Chan would pull his hair again and actually cut.

"Come and give me a reading for today's job," the brunette tapped the chair next to him, initiating Felix to sit.

"What do you want to know, sir?"

Chan threw his head to the side and smiled so lightly that Felix barely noticed it. "Tell me what'll happen if I kill Kim's man."

Their eyes met just as he finished the sentence, one pair full of fright and the other pleasantly relaxed.

"Of course..." Felix spoke barely.

"More confidence."

"Of course, sir," he said sharply and this time Chan's lips were painted with an evident smile.

There was no need for Felix to choose more than one card from his deck - he was already planning how to tell him not to kill the other man.

After a brief shuffle, he offered Chan a row of cards to choose from and the brunette did so without hesitating. He turned it around and waited for Felix to ready his thoughts.

‘The Chariot’, reversed.

“You are using your energy wrongly. The dominance you currently possess could do horrific harm to people around you and even yourself,” Felix said comfortably. It was a lot easier when he doesn’t have to lie to prevent Chan from any stupid ideas, but actually tell him what the cards say.

“Who’s gonna get hurt?” he twittered rather playfully.

“I don’t know that.”

“Is Changbin gonna get hurt?”

Felix sighed in frustration. His boss wasn’t going to give up until he precisely told him the details. “Give me a coin.”

Chan opened his wallet and sluggishly dragged out a dime. Felix squeezed it in his hand and threw it to the air, then he caught and put it to his skin. Heads mean yes, tails mean no.

“No,” Felix called.

“What about Minho?”

He threw it again only to find tails yet again. “No.”

“Jisung?”

Tails. “No.”

“Right,” he stood up.

Felix thought about it for a second, then he finally got the courage to ask. “Aren’t you gonna ask about me?”

Chan looked back as he nonchalantly dressed in his hoodie, eyed disinterested, expression as cold as ice. “Sure. Flip it.”

Felix did so. A shiver bolted through his body when he saw heads peeking between his fingers. He lifted his head up to tell Chan, but the other man was already at the door with zero fucks given whether his new assistant was going to get hurt during the sweet revenge. Chan really didn’t care, and it kind of made his heart sting.

…

They were supposed to be there in 20 minutes, but the weather wasn’t on their side tonight. It was raining and Felix refused to drive fast through the narrow streets of Seoul. The address was, actually, a bit further from the center which brought relief to his chest. If anyone were to find the beaten guy, at least they’d have trouble finding who did it.

Felix reminded Chan not to kill the man at any cost and Chan just shook the advice off as if he were a dog trying to dry himself after a bath. He said that he wouldn’t do so, but it wasn’t believable considering how his lips curved after every promise.

“We are here,” Felix said when he stopped the car.

For a few minutes, they were only examining the terrain – the forest that was around the small gas station, people who were present at the location and cars that were parked outside. It was merely deserted which was good.

“Lix, listen to me carefully,” Chan called. “When I meet the guy, I need you to take care of his current customer. I’ll give you an envelope which you’re going to give to the man and return to the car as soon as possible while I take care of Kim’s guy.”

“So, you’ll pretend you’re Kim’s customer and I’ll be the dealer?” Felix tried to connect the dots.

“Exactly.”

“Alright, I got it,” he nodded and took the offered envelope from Chan’s hand. 

Chan closed the car door as he got outside. “Take care, boy,” he smiled and eventually left.

Those words hurt, especially now that he’s saying them after completely ignoring Felix’s safety and emotions. Chan really didn’t care whether Felix gets out of this with a few bruises on his face or not. It’s the profit that matters and nothing else.

His thoughts got distracted by a man approaching Chan. He knew it was the Kim’s best goon when he saw a blue bandana tied around his neck loosely. Felix swallowed briefly and watched as the two of them interacted.

The other goon waited for Chan to find his envelope, but Chan caught him off-guard and stole the envelope. With hands full of unpaid drugs, he ran to the forest and pretended to be the one to take it without paying while Kim’s man stupidly ran after him in order to retrieve what’s his.

This might have been the usual trick for someone like Chan, but Felix thought it was a genius idea to get his out of the vastness.

Now his time had come and the blonde was out of the car, waiting for the real customer to arrive. In a few minutes, a young man approached him. He was taller than him, all dressed for a party actually and a poker face expression. They traded briefly and Felix was now inside Chan’s car once again.

However, Chan wasn’t coming back. 5 minutes had passed by and he was nowhere to be seen. God, when did beating take so long? Wasn’t it just a couple of punches to someone unconscious and that was that? Or maybe Chan was the one to get a beating. In that case, Felix needed to stand up and check.

He grabbed the car keys and a pocket knife he found at the side of the door, then headed for the forest where Chan and the other dealer went. The rain was going to drown him. The whole scene was honestly scary and it made him feel even more stressed than the filthy and dusty staircase that led to their basement. Nothing could be seen for the trees blocked all existent moonlight and left him wandering like a lost baby duck.

Felix flinched when he heard rustling leaves from somewhere close to him. “Chan?”

No one answered, so he called again.

“Chan?!”

Nothing again.

Right as he was about to turn around from the horrifying sound, he heard someone giggling just a few meters away from him. His head jabbed to the side and he grabbed his knife ready to attack. 

However, the sound didn’t seem to get any closer. Step after step, Felix approached it. And maybe he shouldn’t have done so. 

“Chan?” he called his soaked shadow when he finally saw it. “Is everything al-“

And then the thunder struck in the distance, reveling Chan’s whole figure – steady, wet, pale... And splashed with fresh blood.

He looked down and realized that that was the goon he saw just minutes ago, but now he was left out to bleed from several cold-hearted stabs and cuts. His eyes were still open, his face was almost white and his bandana wasn’t blue anymore. It was blood red.

“Pretty…”

Felix looked up, completely shattered from the previous sight, only to find something even more horrific. Chan was smiling like a child looking at his own birthday cake.

“What have you done…?” Felix breathed out.

His heart started jumping when Chan’s stiff figure broke out and came closer to him, lips still curved into an eerie grin. He didn’t look like himself. Like the serious, stubborn, taunting Chan he had gotten to know through these past few days. He looked like a psychopath.

And he was a psychopath.

“Come,” Chan called playfully. 

Felix turned around and tried to run, but Chan had already gotten a hold of him, pulling him back to his arms. His hands rested on Felix’s face, leaving bloody marks all over his freckled skin and tinting it red. 

“Please, don’t hurt me!” Felix cried and pulled back, but Chan was too strong to escape from. “I want to go home, please, Chan! Leave me alone!”

“No, baby,” Chan giggled and leaned his face to smell the dripping blood from it. “You’re gonna stay like this with me…”

Felix stopped protesting for a second and looked Chan in the eyes before their lips brushed against each other, heat radiating during the cold rain. He closed his eyes and completely gave out to Chan’s warm wandering hands.

Their lips finally met through a soft, sedative peck. “Forever,” Chan whispered before fully emerging into kissing his darling’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for vanishing this month. It's been hard, but I'm back with some more Chanlix :3
> 
> My [twitter](https://twitter.com/zivkovicdanica_).


	10. Jisung

Jisung woke up to the busting sound of their front door getting slammed. His eyes deliberately searched for Minho through the dark room. Even though he couldn't see the older ginger, he knew he had woken up as well since he was the lightest sleeper ever known.

"You heard that?" Jisung muttered sleepily.

Minho stood up briefly and turned on the light. "I sure fucking did."

The two of them grabbed pocked knives, specially decorated for both of them with great details. Both of them were the slim models, particularly made for stabbing and running away since they didn't know how to properly fight.

When they quietly opened the door, Changbin was more than welcome to greet them in the hallway to the kitchen. He had a pistol in his hands and was ready to shoot anyone that didn't belong in this damn house. While leading their line with Jisung in the middle and Minho at the end, he came across something strange that made his heart skip a beat.

Whoever just entered their house got the password from the second try and failed to alarm the house. He doubted it was Chan that came back for his fingers were too experienced with the code to fuck it up once. He didn't make mistakes even when he finessed the lock for the first time ever.

The three of them quickly moved to the kitchen, which was surprisingly empty. However, he sensed that something was horribly wrong when he saw the door of Chan's grand room wide open.

"Minho, cover the door. Jisung and I will check the room," Changbin demanded strictly.

It was weird to listen to him, but on occasions like these, when Chan isn't able to give orders, Changbin was the one in charge.

Jisung followed in tow as Changbin went through the door and searched for any alive soul. The wardrobe looked like someone wished to steal all of Chan's clothes and all of his drawers were open as well. He heard the sink running from his bathroom and heavy breathing.

"Is it Felix?" Jisung assumed.

"Probably," Changbin headed for the door, now being less wary that he has an idea of who might've intruded their house. "Felix?"

Jisung waited for Changbin to enter the door and, when he did, he watched in fright as his older comrade halted in shock. Changbin stood in front of the glamorous bathroom, mouth slack and eyes wide. Like he’s seen a poltergeist.

“Hey…” Jisung approached this dumbfounded friend slowly. “What’s wrong-“

Jisung’s eyes widened as he saw the two other figures staring back at them – Chan and Felix. He wouldn’t have had such a shocked reaction if it weren’t for the smudged blood across Felix’s face and Chan’s damp clothes. His hoodie was wet with diluted blood from the rain. They both smelled of iron and were in a horrific state of mind. Felix’s whole expression screamed delirium, while Chan was hurrying to wipe blood off of his face nonchalantly.

“What the fuck happened, boss?” Jisung finally managed to open his mouth.

Chan pondered for a brief thought, but was quick to answer his question as accurately as possible. “I accidentally killed Kim’s assistant.”

“How the hell do you kill someone accidentally?” Jisung raised his voice a little, but Changbin shook him back to his place.

“Well, I was just planning to knock him out and steal back the backpack they took from us,” he basically sang as he wiped the blood off with a damp handkerchief. “But I got carried away and killed him.”

Both Changbin and Jisung couldn’t really believe what Chan had just said. Yes, this wasn’t the first time Chan had arrived back home with ‘I killed someone’ but he had promised not to let his habits and desires rule. Besides, he was giving them a hard time with distorting the truth.

His last time was 3 months ago when he had gotten extremely mad over some other gang’s runner. The man had approached our territory, consciously or subconsciously, and Chan hadn’t been willing to forgive such a banal mistake. He had ordered them to keep him isolated until this boss agrees to make the money trade, which he had politely declined.

Hence, Chan had gone mad at how ignorant leaders could be towards their people. Before slicing the man’s throat off in front of a decent crowd, he had promised he’d give all of his fortune if any of them had gotten captured by the other gang. He had promised he’d come to get what’s his in the middle of the night if he had to. And Jisung had never doubted it.

“Oh, well…” Jisung’s expression finally softened after sometime. “Did you at least tell him I said hi?”

“Of course,” Chan grinned. “I also told him to rot in hell,” he stopped for a couple of seconds, thinking of something witty he’s heard. “And he told me he’ll meet me there. He knew my name at the end of the day.”

“Wow, you’re getting famous, boss,” Jisung and Chan shared a quick laugh before Chan returned to cleaning Felix once again. “Is he okay?”

Chan looked at Felix’s eyes which were dilated from shock. He looked like he was alive, yet dead at the same time. His breathing was excruciatingly slow, his reactions were nonexistent and his eyes were focused to one place.

“He’s fine,” Chan shook the question off.

“He doesn’t look fine to m-“

“What the fuck happened here?!” Minho stormed through the bathroom door and watched in terror as he saw the two bloodied men cleaning up. “No… don’t tell me…” he searched for other’s reaction of disapproval, but he didn’t find any. “Fuck.”

"Minho," Chan spoke softly. "Could you do me a favor and take Felix to rest while we discuss something important?" he brushed Felix's silver hair away like every kid when they prepared their dolls for sleeping.

And, frankly, he looked like an expensive porcelain doll besides the fact that his clothes were dirty. His eyes shined with gloss, his skin was now pristine and his hair was perfectly combed. But the most important thing that reminiscent him of dolls was the lack of emotion in his face. He truly looked shattered and Jisung hoped he'd get out of this stronger and wiser.

"No," Minho refused instantly, eyes full of fury. "You promised you wouldn't!"

Changbin tried to intervene. "Minho-"

"Don't forewarn me! Don't you remember the time when we last sat down and had a proper dinner together? Don't you remember when Chan gave us an oath that he'd control his urges and tendencies?" Minho completely snapped, his tone changed.

"Take Felix to rest," Chan ignored all of his attempts to enlighten Jisung and Changbin.

"No!"

"Minho," Chan finally let go of Felix's arm and approached him slowly, like he wanted to hug the other man. He leaned his mouth to his ear and whispered softly. "I'll butcher you and hang your guts around the house as out Christmas decoration if you refuse to take Felix to rest one more time."

All three of them stared at the oldest, but only Jisung and Minho were panicked. Changbin was too used to this type of things that his expression changed ever so slightly. He has known him the longest, nevertheless.

Minho pulled away and angrily looked at Chan, like he was about to spit in his face from how much he hated him right now. Though, he was able to turn around and effortlessly drag Felix to the other room, each step thumping against mere laminate.

Changbin, Jisung and Chan sat in the kitchen. Jisung couldn't believe how calm these two can be in such a stressful situation to the point where he wondered if they witnessed anything worse than a murder.

Chan sighed and looked at them, prepared to have a whole another speech for the millionth time today. "I didn't lose control," he claimed. "I planned to kill him from the very beginning and both of you know why."

"Why?" Jisung wondered out loud.

"To start a gang war and eliminate Kim from our system," Changbin pointed.

Chan smiled proudly at his best wingman and continued. "Don't hide the body. We want Kim to see what happened to his most valuable worker and come for us. I left a little something for him to conclude it's us who killed his man."

"What?" Jisung tilted his head eager to hear the answer.

"My fang necklace he saw when we met at the club. He's going to recognize it and come for me, but we'll play stupid and prepare an ambush, yeah?"

"How, when?"

"You see..." Chan smiled. "I did a psychoanalysis on Kim from the information Jeongin had collected and concluded that he returns frauds like this with the same extent. If you steal money from him, he'll steal the same amount from you and finish in status quo," he grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and gestured them to come closer as he started scribbling. "Hence, I'm pretty sure he'll attack Changbin on his next shift and finish by that. However, we'll be a step ahead and wait for him to make the mistake by attempting to execute Changbin and get them instead. I made sure Kim knows when you're working next and we'll all prepare, okay?"

Jisung’s face twisted in doubt. “Isn’t that kind of dangerous? What if they actually kill Changbin?”

“They won’t,” Chan protested. “I’ve got too much info on my hands thanks to Hwang’s son and Jeongin that there’s no way he’ll outsmart us.”

Jisung smiled wryly and lowered his tone, knowing that he shouldn’t be saying this right now. “Chan, that’s what you told us last time when we tried to eliminate Ahn. Minho ended up with a broken arm and-“

“Don’t mention that,” Chan raised his voice sharply. Jisung knew he needed to shut his mouth and agree with him no matter what, but regarding their previous experiences, he wasn’t so willing to do so.

Two years ago, Minho was supposed to be a bait for Ahn. He was supposed to lure him into the trap like any other.

At that time, Chan’s gang had another major member who was pretty much like Changbin to Chan, just a little less precious. He was a goon, a runner, an assistant and, most importantly, a friend. And Chan platonically liked him very much.

That was until they all figured out that their ‘friend’ wasn’t so much of a heartwarming goof, yet a disgusting traitor that outed them to Ahn a week before their plan. He sold their dealing arrangements and plan info for such a small sum of money that Jisung couldn’t believe one could overcome years of bonding, laughing and crying together like that.

As a consequence, Minho ended up captured and almost killed because of him. Frankly, when Chan found out about their secret meeting, his temper exploded and he killed their ‘friend’ so cold-bloodedly that Jisung sometimes got vivid pictures of the whole excruciating scenario while he slept. It, really, was a scene to remember and a lesson to learn.

Chan had been so enigmatic about his plans ever since. However, one part of him had never changed and that was his honest word towards his team. If he promised to bring Minho home, dead or alive, he would have done so. And he did.

“When am I up?” Changbin asked for the sake of breaking the hateful atmosphere.

“In three days,” Chan responded instantly. “Prepare both physically and mentally. I don’t want any of you having a breakdown in front of shooting guns.”

“Yes, sir.”

“But what about Felix?” Jisung asked, concerned. “Chan, he’s really not okay. He can’t even talk or focus and you can’t just throw him out of the team.”

The whole room dimmed in silence as Chan felt two heavy glares at him. Jisung was completely reasonable with his concerns, but Chan had completely different plans for the future. “I know…” he said softly, aware of all the things he has done to the new boy.

“I don’t know if he’ll get out of this healthy.”

“Oh, there’s no way he will,” Chan agreed. “But I’ll drag him back to us every time he starts to slip out. And I want you two to do the same if you notice him getting on a different track.”

Jisung and Changbin both nodded in agreement as they saw Chan holding his head between his two hands. They both weren’t used to seeing Chan dealing with this type of stress for this was the first time he had shown it.

Jisung sometimes missed those days when Chan had called them friends. He missed the trust and intimacy they once possessed so dearly that it drove him mad. He missed the days when Chan was no sir nor boss. He missed the days when Chan laughed like he was drunk all the time and gave them hugs before sleep just for the sake of annoying them. If he thought about it again, Jisung would wish he had bottled the memory of the last time Chan did that. It was a pity he had forgotten about such a precious moment.

His nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by loud thumps on the floor from Minho and Jisung’s room, then a few gagging sounds. Jisung could tell Felix was having a hard time, hence he walked to their room, leaving Chan and Changbin behind. He walked through their messy room, which was always like that because no one bothered to spend time on it, and saw Minho holding Felix up while he vomited his guts out.

Jisung watched in pity as he struggled to breathe after each obnoxious attack of nausea. This whole scene made Jisung rather uncomfortable.

“Come on,” he approached them and held Felix’s strands of hair back. “You’ll sleep with me tonight.”

Minho backed away in revulsion. He was the one with a weak stomach in their group. “I’ll sleep in Chan’s room. Felix can use my bed.”

Jisung nodded and watched the ginger head out, disgusted. God, this night was gonna be hell for them, but especially Felix. And Jisung didn’t know how to help Felix but drug him up with various meds they had in the basement and hope for the best outcome.

…

Jisung’s back was stiff when he woke up from the cold night. He lent all of his blankets to Felix so he could sleep in peace, which he most certainly did. But something was off when he turned around to find his new friend.

All of the sheets were bundled up onto the bed and Felix was nowhere to be seen. Panicking, Jisung stood up from his bed abruptly, which hurt his back even more, and searched around the room for any signs. Then, he looked through the window and saw what he was looking for.

Felix was sitting on the only bench they had in their backyard, eyes puffy and cheeks terribly swollen. He was vacantly looking at one dot with a pout on his lips and shaking hands. Jisung wondered how he had the audacity to wander around the house with no surveillance over him, but then he remembered that there was no one who could possibly take care of him other than himself.

Prior to rushing outside, Jisung had grabbed a spare jacket for Felix. As he opened the back door, the cold wind hit his face and bare feet like a truck while Felix didn’t bother looking at his direction.  
“You are gonna catch a cold.”

“I don’t care,” Felix responded rather boldly and that was the first time Jisung had heard him do so.

“Well you should,” he let the jacket hug his back as he sat next to him. “Who’s gonna keep Chan happy if you get cold.”

Felix looked at Han disgustedly, then shook his head and leaned back. Now Jisung really wanted to know what has gotten into this pure boy that started grimacing after every sentence he spoke. However, Jisung knew the answer right away.

Whatever Chan got a hold of, he ruined it in brief moments for the sake of his own satisfaction and complexes.

“If I was so dear to Chan, why did he go to his room to have sex with Minho while I couldn’t fall asleep?” the blonde shook his head again, now hurt and mad at the whole world. “Why didn’t he stay with me?”

Felix must have looked for Chan during the night and accidentally caught them fucking mid-act. But it’s not the youngest one’s fault for looking for help when he felt vulnerable. He’ll get ruined here - there were no exceptions. 

“I-“ Jisung frankly didn’t know what to tell him without hurting his feelings even more. He couldn’t tell him that’s what Chan did when he got bored or banally aroused. “I’m sorry you saw that.”

“But why didn’t you tell me Minho is his boyfriend when I first came here?” Felix was now raising his voice.

“They are not… boyfriends.”

“Then what are they?!”

Jisung got startled when he heard the blonde yell for the first time. He placed a finger on his lips, initiating silence. “It’s rather complicated. They aren’t dating or anything, just… exchanging.”

“What the fuck is this house?” Felix raised his head to look at it. The sun was barely up and everything looked like he was diagnosed with monochromic color blindness. Everything looked dead and lonely, although he had company. “A market?”

“Perhaps,” Han barely whispered, knowing all the flaws their gang carried among themselves. 

Pitifully, Jisung tapped Felix’s shoulder in order to keep him calm. He was never the type to give advice, but he was there for moral support. Maybe Chan shouldn’t have brought him here in the first place. They all knew it’s harder to adapt to different lifestyles when someone is older than 18. And, to this very moment, Jisung was unsure why Chan introduced Felix to this work. Why was Felix so special when he didn’t have a talent? If he was bored and tired of Minho, he would have just paid and fucked someone else like he usually did. So what was so luring about Felix that none of them had?

“If you want to go home and never come back here, you can tell me,” Jisung suggested. “I’ll help you get out of here and you won’t have to deal with any of this, but you have to tell me now.”

Felix turned his head abruptly, like he just saw a ghost. “He’ll kill you if you put a knife to his back.”

“He won’t,” Jisung protested. “My job is to make drugs, not stay loyal to Chan. That’s Changbin’s work.”

Jisung regretted saying this, merely for the fact that he disrespected both Changbin and Chan in a way. But he was more scared about the chances that Chan’s actually gonna kill him if he finds out. He shouldn’t play with fire and act cocky when the fire was a crazy bastard who slit throats as a hobby.

“Then,” Felix hesitated. “I’d like to decline your offer.”


	11. Felix

Felix didn’t remember how much had passed since Han mentioned the offer. Apart from the dead body that has been lingering through his mind for the past few nights, he kept thinking about that as well. And maybe he should’ve accepted it.

However, something in the back of his tormented mind had kept him bonded to Chan although he had no purpose to do so. He kept thinking about running away and being stuck in that small flat with Minnie, getting old while living a decent life, being forgotten, but staying safe without worrying about some lunatic ambushing him on a peaceful walk.

And with all those things in his conscience, he still couldn’t bear to be Chan’s best con man. No, he started feeling too much for the other man and it’s slowly getting too late.

“Pistols?” Chan asked Changbin, Jisung and Felix to check if they’ve packed everything for the critical night.

“There,” Changbin claimed.

“Pocket knives?”

They all searched their pockets and said in a choir, “There.”

“Spare clothes?”

“There.”

“A will to do this job correctly?” Chan raised his eyebrows and eyed every single one of them.

“There,” they all responded straight away.

Chan’s lips curved into a sly smile and he gestured them to pack the things into the car. “Good.”

As they headed out, Chan pulled Felix by his shirt and told him to stay there while the others prepared. He rather pushed him closer to the wall right when the corridor became silent – eyes soft and mouth full of unspoken words.

“Draw a card for me, would you?” he asked, but regarding his style of words, it sounded like a suggestion.

Felix did so without hesitation. “Ten of Swords, sir.”

Chan frowned and eyed the card in his hand. “Is it gonna go well?”

“No,” Felix responded quickly.

Chan smirked proudly and looked up. His obsidian eyes were too much for Felix to bear, hence he looked away and put the card back. 

In little but no time, Chan’s hands landed on his waist and he gasped in surprise. They gently wandered to his stiff back, leaving light caresses and pokes onto it while Felix stood still without a mere thought of how to act. As Chan’s lips came closer to his ear, he shivered to the vibrations he could feel from his throat.

“That’s what I was talking about when I said confidence,” Chan smiled briefly and leaned in to embrace the shook blonde.

Felix circled his shaking arms around him in return and pushed away all of the hatred that Chan had provided him with. Just for a brief moment, he forgot about those few days, about all the fucked up stuff he had done, about the way he recklessly acted towards him… He just stayed there in his arms, though he had a valid reason not to.

“I want you to know,” Chan pulled away slightly to look at his eyes. “That no matter how people treat you, you are always going to outshine them.” His eyes then travelled to his freckles and he gave him a rather warm smile, not like his usual ones. “Even your freckles look like little stars.”

Felix flushed from the random claim and leaned back onto Chan’s shoulder, but the older man grabbed his chin and pulled his head back up. After a few glances at his lips, Chan finally leaned in to kiss him. He kept his pace steady and rather tranquil, regardless of how Felix imagined him to be. He couldn’t connect the everyday Chan to this one – he was too gentle with every pull and lean that Felix’s whole chest burned from the feeling.

Eventually, Chan finished the session with the softest peck Felix had ever felt. His whole body burned excruciatingly and he was left with no additional words.

“Good boy,” Chan wiped his wet lips with his thumb, smug smile painted over his face. “Do well today and perhaps we can do this again.”

“Uh… yes, sir.”

Then, they both turned away and headed out like nothing at all happened between them. No touches nor kisses. Just a boss and his puppet.

…

Felix was the driver. Changbin was on the co-driver seat. Chan and Jisung were on the backseats. Felix wondered why Chan didn’t want Minho here. Wasn’t Minho a loyal part of Chan’s team, meaning that he’d always have to be in every mission or job they were doing? Why did Chan act so recklessly when he asked to come with them? Why had he refused?

Regardless, the whole ride was tense merely because of Jisung who was ever so slightly panicking for his life behind Changbin. He was biting his nails to the point where they almost bled.

“Boss, why didn’t you put Minho on my place? I really hate this,” Jisung shifted his look between them, seeking a response.

“Calm down, Han,” Chan grinned and saw Jisung as some kind of a joke. “The worst thing that could happen is that Kim survives.”

“But what if we die?!”

“I don’t know,” Chan raised his eyebrow. “What if we die, Jisung? Cut the bullshit and do your job properly!”

“Yes, boss!” Han turned away to look at the passing objectives as his fingers started to bleed from how much he was biting them.

Frankly, Felix already saw too much throughout the past few days that he felt used to feeling anxious and nervous on daily basis. On the other hand, Chan and Changbin looked like this was just another boring day full of shit that they had to go through and weren’t planning on procrastinating.

Changbin’s tranquility was eerie. His hands were perfectly calm on his thighs, his face was unbothered and relaxed and his berthing was so even and constant that it could beat any clock by its ticking. From the first time he had met him, Changbin had been like that. And it was oddly impressive.

Chan seemed more excited than relaxed. Sometimes, while glancing in the rearview mirror, Felix notices his sudden, yet brief lip-curves. It was almost like he wanted to grin like an idiot, but he was holding himself back to prevent anyone getting extremely weirded out. However, Felix noticed the ting of happiness and thrill that lurked in his veins every time someone mentioned killing. 

He was so eager to see Kim dead for an unknown reason.

“Gentlemen,” Chan started loudly. “As always, I’m obligated to tell you our plan before it actually happens. It’s short and simple. Don’t fuck up. Don’t protest. Don’t fucking dare to start running away. And don’t put your guard down.”

“I’ll need it more specific, boss.”

“Alright,” Chan began. “Felix, you’re gonna park somewhere further away from the future crime scene. We’ll wait for Kim under cover, while Changbin’s going to be the bait. Now,” his words became strict and clear. “Don’t do anything until we locate Kim. When we locate him or his men, Changbin’s going to shoot as well as myself. Jisung, you’ll be the backup if anything goes wrong.”

Felix frowned. “What about the buyer, sir?”

“There’s no buyer, darling,” Chan said gleefully. “This is all false info for Kim.”

“Understood.”

Felix felt a little better after the mentioning of plan. He felt at relief when he heard that he wouldn’t be shooting at anyone, which he honestly didn’t know how to. Han was starting to get calm and Chan’s smiles were getting more frequent as they came closer to the desired location.

“Sir,” Changbin spoke for the first time in a while. “Did Hwang provide you with all this information about Kim?”

“Yes, indeed,” Chan nodded. “Jeongin managed to talk him into a little business with us. Now he’s our main source of information as well as Jeongin.”

“Hwang Hyunjin?” Felix wondered out loud.

“Yes, Hwang Hyunjin. He’s a lot greedier than I thought, but we still succeeded in talking him into our work and becoming our partner.”

Wow, the man Felix was once driving to work almost every day was now their gang’s partner in crime. He wouldn’t have ever thought such things could happen so easily and unexpectedly.

When they finally arrived there, Felix examined the location quite well. It was just a flat landscape – no houses or buildings near, just a bunch of trees and bushes where they could hide when Kim arrives. It was actually quite well-decided to commit such a crime at this place – there was no high-ground for Kim to snipe them all off.

Chan positioned each one of them to a different side. Chan and Jisung covered the sides that were conjoined to the long road, and Felix was just sticking to Jisung in case he gets attacked.

In 20 minutes there was supposed to be a huge shooting, but it was now that Felix felt so scared.

“What’d your cards say?” Jisung whispered while warily observing the scene as he should.

Felix thought about the card he had pulled when Chan asked him to. The ‘Ten of Swords’. They represented defeat. Each of the swords was buried into the man’s back while he lay lifelessly on the battlefield. Chills ran through his spine when he thought of it.

Felix knew every single card in his deck perfectly well – how did the design look like, what did it mean and who had drawn it. It was his pleasure to know all of that for that was what he took pride in. Reading cards and playing with future was his alter ego. And, frankly, he hated it.

“I didn’t look at my cards,” Felix lied. “Nobody believes it them anyway.”

“Boss believes them,” Jisung said rather hopefully. “He’s really been into them since you came here.”

He would have listened if he believed them. Felix told him about the consequences of killing Kim’s man, he told him about pain that’s going to spread among his gang if he had done so. Recklessly, Chan enjoyed hearing from them, but he refused to listen. He didn’t believe them, he just liked the amusement it brought along the way.

“Really? I thought he found them funny?”

“Well, yeah, but he really likes hearing what you have to say about all of this.”

Felix wanted to say that he didn’t believe it, but from the bottom of his heart he did. His heart fluttered a little when he acknowledged that it was completely possible for Chan to think that way. He gave Han a quick smile and turned to the scene.

There, Changbin was standing – rolled into a couple of layers of jackets because it was getting extremely cold during this starry night. He was shifting from side to side in brief hops and his hands were in his pockets, staying warm while he was waiting for anyone to arrive.

In little but no time, they all saw dim car lights from a couple hundred meters away. Kim was getting close as well as action.

This could elaborate in three different ways. One, one of them makes a mistake and they die. Two, Kim makes a mistake and he and his men die. Three, everyone makes a mistake and everyone dies or gets arrested. Second one was impossible due to his cards, so Felix hoped for the third one.

“Prepare,” he heard Han whisper and duck his head further into the bushes they were hiding in.

Changbin stood so firmly that Felix was in a never-ending awe. When the car stopped and two men stepped out of it, Han and Felix froze as they saw something dangerous in their hands.

Pistols.

Felix wanted to shout for Changbin to run for his life, but Han placed a hand over his mouth to prevent him from ruining the plan. He crouched there, scared for everyone’s life when one of them raised his hands and pointed a gun to Changbin. Both of them had that same shitty bandana tied around their muscular arms.

“Seo Changbin,” the taller one spoke loudly. “What kind of a job are you doing now, dog?”

Changbin stood steadily, moving backwards ever so slightly when they took a few steps towards him. He had a disgusted look on his face as they continued speaking to him over and over, telling him various insults and taunts. But Felix knew better. Those words weren’t even scratching Changbin’s ego, let alone his solid mind.

“Sorry, dog, but your boss has gotten in a little too much of a fight with us,” the short one added after those hideous words. “If I wasn’t here to kill you, I’d tell you to wish your boss a happy nightmare.”

Changbin turned around and ran as fast as he could to the woods prior to hearing the hammer of his gun click. He was going to shoot.

“Shoot them, Han!” Felix tried to seem as quiet as possible, but it was too late.

They started firing once, twice and then the third time. It took them three bullets to hit Changbin and pan him to the ground. Chan’s best henchman was lying on the filthy ground, body seizing from pain like a dying animal while Kim’s men laughed.

It really affected him differently now that it was Changbin who was dying on the floor rather the man that Chan had killed a few days ago. God, Felix wanted to intervene so badly that his lip started bleeding from his strong bite.

Why wasn’t anyone shooting? Why was Chan crouching like a coward somewhere in the bushes instead of saving his friend? What the fuck was wrong with them?

Cockily, they walked over to Changbin who was now growling in pain and holding the place where they had shot him – the left side of his chest.

“How the fuck are you still alive, dog?” the shorter man bent over him and gestured the other to go. “I’ll take care of him.”

Felix was now panicking terribly next to Han, who was watching rather calmly, but there was still some tension in his shining eyes.

“Help him,” Felix begged as he pulled his sleeve like a hungry child. “Please, he’s gonna die.”

“No,” Han protested. “This is supposed to happen, Lix. Look.”

Felix jabbed his head towards Changbin to see what his comrade was initiating. 

As the man bent over Changbin and started choking him, his hand reached to his side and picked up a knife. It was now that Felix realized Changbin wasn’t hurt – his hand was perfectly clean as well as the handle of his knife. All it took for the man to fall onto him was a quick stab to the neck and a slash to the side. 

Changbin’s face was drowned in fresh blood, too reminiscent of Chan when he had committed the same. He was lying still for a few brief moments, dead body on top of him.

It was peaceful for a moment. But just a moment.

Changbin stood up completely healthy and untouched by bullets. “I think you forgot Chan has some deals with Death,” he said so that the other, taller man could hear. “And whoever Chan deals with is my friend.” He smiled eerily and lifted his hand with a pistol in it.

The man looked back, all baffled and terrified. He had no time to lift back his gun when Changbin’s lips turned into a smile one last time.

“Tell me how this felt when we meet again in hell, will you?”

Felix couldn’t tell if he was more happy than scared when he heard the trigger go off. His heart was filled with relief, but his mind said otherwise. There was still tension hanging in the recesses of his mind, fading away after each second.

Han looked at him with a smug smirk spread across his face. His eyes screamed ‘I’ve told you not to worry’.

At the opposite side of the small field stood Chan with the proudest look in his eyes. Felix couldn't recall ever witnessing such a prideful snicker especially from his boss. His eyes glistened as he came closer to his most valuable henchman, arms wide open for a congratulating hug.

Jisung followed along the way, jumping from foot to foot to reach them. Felix was the last to join their circle, yet he didn't feel left out. If anything, he felt like he had someone to come to besides Minnie. He had open arms desperately waiting for him to feel as he was a part of the family. Disregarding the lifeless corpses, of course. 

"Champion," Chan exclaimed triumphantly. "When I said MY right hand, I really meant it. Great job." 

Chan let go of Changbin only to give Jisung a light pat to the back, congratulating him as well for whatever reason. Eventually, he came to Felix with two wide arms in which he leaned against longingly. His soft cheek pressed against Chan's shoulder, so warm what he would've fell asleep if Chan didn't chuckle lightly. He lifted his head and dragged his body away from Chan's embrace, smiling while doing so.

"Your cards," Chan laughed light-heartedly. "Looks like they aren't so precise aft-" 

Suddenly, the earth beneath Felix's feet trembled when he heard a shot. It wasn't the shot that scared him to be exact. It was the fact that it hit Chan right at the side of his neck, scarlet thickness gushing everywhere like he had plenty of it. Felix fell to the floor together with Chan. His weight was keeping him pinned as everything got painted in red. Everything. 

Jisung was running away for cover. And Changbin? Changbin was trying to lift Chan away and help him, but the brunette has already almost suffocated. 

Felix couldn't process things, he couldn't look around, he couldn't breathe properly, he couldn't hear anything but the ringing in his ears. 

Then, he heard another shot - same as the previous one. After that noise he heard someone else fall and he didn't dare to look for the sake of his sanity because he knew that was Changbin who had hit the ground. 

Felix turned his buzzing head to the sky. There were plenty of stars, each of them shined differently from the other. They formed shapes and lines and, for a moment, Felix thought he saw a puppy. A happy little puppy with its tongue out of his mouth. 

Right before he was about to close his eyes, his hand felt a feathery brush to them. Was that Chan? 

He turned his head to the side and saw something he probably shouldn't have. Chan's eyes were glossy and his face was brutally covered in blood. And he had that same warm smile from when they were home. Felix found his arm and squeezed it tightly once, then twice, just to check if he was truly dead. Felix knew how much strength Chan had to collect to return him the weakest seize, but he was trying desperately. 

This is what fear felt like. Chan was scared of this, but at what cost? Oblivion is what was scary, not death. Some live only after their death, but no one lives after oblivion. 

"Hey," Felix whispered to the lying man, not knowing if he actually heard him or it was too late. "As long as you're with me you are immortal. Remember that." 

Determined, he stood up and waited for a bullet to hit his own head. However, it never came. 30 seconds have passed, then a minute, then two minutes. Nothing. 

Hence, he crouched to Changbin and searched for the gun that he was previously holding. 

He put it to the side of his head while aiming straight for the vitals. If he ended up alive by any chance that would mean that those two were definitely dead forever. He counted to three. 

1...

2...

God, he hated when his hands got extremely shaky. 

3.

... 

Felix woke up panting. He was short on air. His surroundings were blurry and he felt this odd sting to the side of his head. 

"Are you okay?" he heard Seungmin from the other side of the room. 

Catching his breath, he managed to collect and piece his thoughts before Minnie started to worry. "Nightmare." 

"Wanna come next to me?" he offered the other side of his bed for Felix. 

"Yeah, thank you."

He quickly dragged himself over to his best friend’s bed. This is exactly what he needed – a warm body to kill his loneliness after that miserable sight he had ‘dreamt’ of. For a moment he still felt that light squeeze Chan gave him before he had woken up again. It brought shivers through his body.

Felix knew it was 5am – that was the time he had woken up before it restarted. Four more hours and he should be going back to Chan for preparation. 

“What did you dream of?” Seungmin asked while his eyes were closed. It looked like he was sleep talking, but Felix knew well he wasn’t.

“Some guys got shot and I couldn’t move.”

“Oh, I know those. Like when somebody’s chasing you and you can’t run regardless of how much you want to?”

“Yeah,” Felix sighed and hugged him.

“God, I hate those.”

“Me too, Minnie.”

…

Felix ate his oatmeal carefully. Each and every bite was consistent of exactly one wild berry, some oats and milk cream. To Seungmin it looked like a mom was making a dish for her baby, but that was just the way Felix liked to see things. Organized and perfect.

Seungmin was opposing him, scrolling through his feed and nonchalantly eating some crackers just for the sake of having some type of breakfast. He was looking quite relaxed until he saw something gruesome on the news.

“Uh… What the hell man?” he scowled at his phone.

“What?” Felix asked although he knew what he was going to talk about.

Reliving all of those things and trying to act the exact same was the hardest part. Say something wrong and you might change the outcome. It’s called the Butterfly Effect and it was fucking annoying.

This was the eleventh time Felix had died. Eleventh time he had to repeat the previous day because of banal mistakes he had made.

He had to learn about the Butterfly Effect the hard way. Once, he was running to school as fast as he could and he managed to get himself into an accident. Frankly, it was his fault that the car hit him. He remembered it vividly.

He had woken up again the same day, thinking it was a dream of some sort. Throughout the whole day he had thought he was witnessing déjà vu, but he later on found out that it actually hadn't been. Actually, he found out the moment when he had seen that same car speeding before his eyes, just a meter away.

He had been late to school that day, and thus grounded for the whole week. It had been when he was young, though. His parents had to teach him the routine and rules. His grades mattered the most.

Seungmin revealed a disgusted face and held his phone out to Felix. "They found a dead body in Seoul. Somebody killed the guy and managed to get away with it thanks to the stupid rain."

Felix gulped. "Where exactly?"

"At some really small gas station in Nowon-gu. Three days ago. They also found a necklace near the body and they're looking for the owner. It has a small fang chain attached to it."

"Anything else?"

"Nope."

Felix lowered his head and mimicked a fake pout. "Poor guy..."

Felix suddenly got so disgusted with himself. He was faking grief just to cover the fact that he and Chan did it. God, what was he turning into?

"Wait..." Seungmin halted. "They found someone's shoe. Size 44, they can't determine the brand, but they have the print."

Felix knew those were Chan's shoes and, luckily, Minnie had reminded him to tell Chan that his shoes now belong in fire.

...

"Sir, I'm telling you! One of Kim's men is already there and he's waiting to shoot us!" Felix tried to explain to Chan that his plan had major holes.

Chan looked at him, his lips were plump from their recent kissing session. Felix really wanted to relive that again, hence he decided telling him in four eyes right after it was the best idea.

"I don't know, baby," Chan shook his head. "Jeongin said there are going to be only two of them. I know he isn't lying."

"Yeah, I know so too! But there's going to be another shooter hidden in the forest, waiting for you to appear! I know Changbin has a bulletproof west right now. He has to check it!" Felix was giving his 100% at trying to persuade Chan, pulling his shirt back so he couldn't go back to the car.

Chan finally sighed, giving in at his annoying warnings. "Tell me, how do you know all of this again?" 

Felix smiled and let go of Chan's shirt, ready to go into the car. "Magic."

“Tell me more about your magic,” Chan’s voice lowered. “What else do you know about my plan that I haven’t told you?”

When Felix realized that Chan wasn’t satisfied nor happy, he backed away to the wall on which they were previously kissing against. “Uh… There’s going to be two men – one shorter, one taller. They both have guns and they are both gonna shoot at Changbin, so I recommend another layer of protection apart from his west. Maybe something for his arms and legs?”

“What else?”

“As I said, there’s gonna be another guy waiting at the opposite side of the street. He’s armed and he’ll shoot you and Changbin if you don’t check,” Felix said firmly.

Chan was now really close to him, eyes switching back and forth from his lips to his two glistening gems. He wanted to kiss him again, but there was no time for such things. Not right now.

“How do you know all of this?” Chan cocked his head and furrowed his eyebrows. “Is someone telling you this or are you just randomly assuming things based on your cards?”

Felix wanted to lean in so badly and kiss him that he almost forgot the question. “I-I dream of it.”

“You dream of it?”

“Yeah,” Felix said softly, trying to reassure Chan that he wasn’t lying. Well, at least not 100%. “I dream of it.”

For a whole minute Chan stared at him without looking away. He refused to see anything but his eyes – like Felix was told in school while reading those boring novels and poems that nobody cared about. Eyes are the mirror of your soul. He wondered what Chan had seen in them to come even closer for the second time.

His strong hand travelled for his cheek and he cupped it like it was a fragile vase that should stay unbroken at all costs. Then, his lips came closer and they brushed against Felix’s like sinless feathers, exchanging warm breaths with each other along the way. 

And for the third time Felix couldn’t hold back anymore. He thought he’d get immune to this stupid feeling, but each second spent with Chan was driving him madder. Hungrily, their lips crashed together like there was no tomorrow, and frankly there wouldn’t have been if Felix wasn’t born with such a useful ability.

Who would’ve thought Felix would get to like this curse of once in his life.

When they heard someone open the front door, Chan retreated his tongue that was still connected with Felix through saliva. He brushed both his and Felix’s lips before deliberately bumping into Changbin like he was on the way there. 

“Grab something to protect your limbs,” Chan demanded with Felix in tow. “We have more than two today.”

…

Chan told Han and Changbin about the third man in the bushes. Felix was amazed at how quickly and effectively he changed the plan in such a short amount of time. Honestly, he couldn’t tell if Chan was changing it on the spot or he had a plan B in his pocket at all times.

Han was about to laugh from the whole suggestion and Felix didn't take it by surprise. Changbin was okay with it as long as Chan was.

When they arrived once again, Felix came to Chan and whispered to him. "There."

His finger pointed to the exact direction where he had heard the shot from last time. He wasn't precise at all. Actually, he barely lifted his hand in order to prevent them from getting shot.

Chan jabbed his head in that direction. It meant that they go into the bushes without Changbin and search for the sniper among the short trees. They went on and on until the shooter's approximate location was close. In a brief movement, Chan gestured them to stay there and wait while he finds the guy.

Felix's mind kept re-seeing what had happened 'last time' - when he saw both Changbin and Chan die before his eyes. And he was extremely scared of it happening again. What if Chan doesn't find the sniper and gives up? Felix would have to re-live all those obnoxious things again. God, he hated seeing blood so much that he'd rather burn alive than bathe in someone's blood. 

Han and Felix suddenly got startled by a shot. Intuitively, Felix started panicking in place, praying that Chan was the one who shot. But he didn't know until he saw a figure approaching them - short with broad shoulders. 

Chan was dragging something from among the trees rather nonchalantly. "This one?" Chan threw the unconscious man before the two of them. 

"Why did you kill him so quickly, boss? We could've drained more information!" Han baffled in disbelief. 

"Jisung," Chan raised his head revealing his poker face. "As much as I wanted to, I'm aware that we can drain info. That's what I taught you, boy." 

"But he's bleeding like hell!" Han crouched down and pressed the side of his shoulder. Chan shot him so close to the neck that Felix was probably witnessing another murder scene right in front of his already traumatized eyes. 

"Better safe than sorry," Chan chuckled. 

Out of peer curiosity, Felix eyed his boss from head to toe like he was about to hit on him in the club. He saw a tiny smudge of blood on his shoes from when he was dragging the man. 

"Oh, sir," Felix called politely. "You might wanna burn those shoes. The police are on track."


	12. Jeongin

Jeongin had seen all of the crimes Chan had committed throughout the past two years when he was starting to get around him. He didn't officially start working for Chan until a year ago, but it was definitely worth the time and effort.

A couple of years ago Jeongin could barely put himself to function. He couldn't get out of his room, go out with his beloved friends nor collect his sleeping and eating schedule. He was determined to find the killer of his teacher, Mr. Lee.

It all started when his sociology classes got unexpectedly canceled one day. The next week, they got a new teacher - Mrs. Jisoo, to replace his previous one. To be honest, nobody cared about the sudden teacher change apart from Jeongin because he swore he heard rumors around school about how Mr. Lee had committed suicide. For a long time he didn't believe it until he saw a paper taped to the New Cemetery post wall. Mr. Lee's face was on the post and there were two years just below his name - the year of his birth and death.

Yes, the rumors were partly true, but those posts refused to have cause of death on them, hence Jeongin took some action in his hands. He began searching about his job history (his previous and part-time jobs), his family members and social media accounts. 

If anyone knew about what Jeongin was doing, they would have considered him extremely weird. Why would a student be so intrigued by his teacher’s death? Why would he spend so much time trying to solve someone else's business? Well, if Mr. Lee hadn't done him any favors, Jeongin wouldn't have given any fucks trying to search for info. However, it was his duty to discover what exactly had lead Mr. Lee to such a coincidental fate. 

Mr. Lee had once offered Jeongin and his high school friend some 'homemade' weed. They both doubted his words, but accepted his offer regardless. When it's free, even vinegar tastes sweet. 

Apparently, they all got high on the school rooftop with Mr. Lee, smoking for an hour straight. After that, Jeongin was too scared to go home from how blurry and unreliable his vision was that he had to stay at his friend's place for the whole night.

Besides the use of drugs, nobody cared about the details of Jeongin's life which led him to being more independent and streets smart. Although he was decent with his school marks, last two years of his high school were the most benefiting for his resourcefulness. He got so skilled in sly-talk that he could persuade basically anyone at being at his side. His talking skills got to such a mesmerizing point where he'd most certainly be able to change the devil's plans and work his way out to Heaven. 

So when Mr. Lee disappeared, his main source of illegal drugs went along with the old man. And he had to find whoever took it from him. 

All of the evidence was stupidly easy to find - if any illiterate man happened to find the newspaper and a few other news sites, he'd be able to conclude who was involved in such dirty work. In a span of 5 days, he found 2 men to investigate - Bang Chan and Ahn Sejoon. They were both obnoxiously involved, both hell of a guilty. 

But Jeongin knew better. He knew that if they were so easy to find, the police had to be involved as well. They had probably been paid to drop the case. 

All of the corruption was driving Jeongin insane. He unfortunately got hooked on smoking weed and needed more of it as soon as possible. For a few days, he had thought he'd been diagnosed with ADHD from how shaky his legs had gotten. Therefore, seeking more of those drugs had become a priority. 

With the help of a little hacking programs and sites, he managed to find Mr. Lee's dealer and his name. He had already heard of Bang Chan and he wanted more of his drugs. 

At that time, Chan was barely 20. His team was small, consistent of Changbin, Minho and a few other smaller gang members. He tracked all of their drug plans thanks to his stalking and management skills. At some point he thought he knew more about Changbin than Chan himself, but that was too big of an idea that it was impossible to be true. 

One of Chan's members was excruciatingly hard to track and that was Minho. Minho never seemed to leave the house. Jeongin couldn't find his last name, his age, his previous job, his parents, siblings, location, town of birth, address, role in the group, etc. Minho was like a ghost, or perhaps a Joker up in Chan's sleeve.

One day Jeongin abruptly decided to skip that day's classes in order to meet Chan. He didn't plan anything apart from what he was going to ask the empowered man and that was the most dangerous idea he had ever made in his life. Blindly going into some gangster's plan was equal to just straight up walking off a cliff.

He actually dressed well to have a bigger first impression - he put his favorite watch and a white shirt along with black pants. People would think he was going to a meeting of some sort, but in reality Jeongin was just ready to greet Death. What was he going to do? Threaten him? With what? He didn't even bring a weapon to protect himself, let alone threaten Chan.

The weather was surprisingly sunny. Maybe Jeongin walked blindly into such a stupid idea, but he himself wasn't stupid. No gangster would kill in broad daylight, with hundreds of people passing by.

He waited in front of a bank for him because that's where he was supposed to make the trade with his buyer. He didn't know how Chan looked like, but he could assume from his bio - a bit shorter than an average man and relatively skinny. Like the third of Korea's population. Great.

From the trusty corner of the sidewalk, he eyed everyone's movements and searched for brief glances and hand-touches. When he thought he finally saw one, he followed the short guy out of the two men in hope that it was Chan. All of Jeongin's movements were slick and skilled, almost like he had been stalking people for years.

When his prey finally entered the car, he stopped and double checked. Would someone like Chan drive such a pristine car that was probably worth double more than Jeongin's flat in Seoul? Weren't gangsters supposed to seem transparent in order to not get caught?

Jeongin came closer to the man's car and lightly tapped on his window, trying not to leave smudges on such clear glass. "Excuse me, sir," he smiled openly. "Are you Bang Chan by any chance?"

The man looked through the half-open window with shining eyes full of pride. His lips parted briefly, showing a smile that looked like it was worth millions.

That was his first encounter with Chan's manipulating ego.

"Have we met before?" the man cocked his head without letting the smile fade.

Jeongin had never felt such an urge to bow to someone before. "I don't believe so, sir. But there is always time for such things," Jeongin returned he smile with same intensity.

"Of course. What's your name?" 

Jeongin straightened his posture and offered an introducing hand to Chan. "Yang Jeongin, sir."

Chan amusingly looked at him, then he eyed his hand and smiled once more. He shook his hand lightly, but refused to let go of it. "My pleasure, Jeongin. You have a really pretty face. It matches your style of clothing well. That's pure cotton, I believe?" he bobbed his head to Jeongin's shirt, still holding onto his hand.

Jeongin felt extremely flattered by his compliment since he hadn't received a lot of them throughout his life. He was usually the one giving them away to his friends. However, his confidence got boosted when he heard Chan say so. 

"It is." 

"How old are you, Jeongin?" Chan finally let go of his hand. 

"16, sir." 

"Cute," he smiled. "So what brings you here?" 

"Actually," Jeongin reached for his inner pocket where he held the information he needed to extract. "I'm here ask you something, sir," both of their smiles faded. "Do you, perhaps, know a man by this name?" 

He showed him a piece of folded paper - Mr. Lee was on the printed photo as well as his name and date of birth. 

"Why are you looking for him?" Chan frowned, but smiled right after. 

Jeongin shrugged and smiled back. "Do you know him?" 

"I knew him," Chan corrected. "Were you anything to him? His son or a family friend?" 

"No, I was just buying Cannabis from him, but when he died I had to track his sources down in order to get it again." 

Chan stared at him with a pleasantly surprised pout on his face. His eyes travelled to a stack of printed cards with numbers on them. His hand hovered over the stack, but there was reluctance in his movements. Like he didn't want to give Jeongin a card with his number on it.

"16?" he asked again. 

"Yes." 

"And what exactly led you to me?" 

Jeongin leaned on his car nonchalantly, like they were close friends talking just a few minutes before separating their own ways. "Mr. Lee's browsing history, his social media, the numbers in his phone and many other things that you've failed to cover Mr. Bang." 

"Cover? What do you think I am? A criminal?" 

"You're responsible for Mr. Lee's death. That's what you are,” Jeongin gave him a sour look while Chan seemed even more amused than before.

“Look, darling,” Chan cleared his throat. “Maybe you should keep that tongue behind your teeth. It might get you killed.”

Jeongin gulped due to the sudden tension from Chan's gaze. The man's jaw clenched like he was a wolf that had just gotten a hold of its prey.

Where was his mind when he said those words? Was he trying to kill himself by provoking one of the biggest gangsters in Seoul? 

He backed away from his car just to keep his safety while Chan refused to look away. His heart almost dropped to its bottom when he saw his hand drawing one of the cards from the deck and lending it to him. Chan's face slightly softened, but that didn't prevent Jeongin for feeling nervous. 

It looked like their conversation was over as Chan twisted his car keys and the engine started purring. 

"Jeongin," a smug painted Chan's lips. "Next time you have an encounter with a mob make sure not to wear a watch. You're gonna be out of them all soon." 

Then, he drove away, sending Jeongin's stiff posture into a cloud of dust. The boy had to squint his eyes to prevent them from tearing up from all of the filth in the air. 

At first, Jeongin was looking if that last sentence Chan told him was a metaphor of some sort, but then he realized that it very much wasn't. His favorite watch was gone from his wrist, hence panic began spreading through his body. Did Chan steal his watch? How? When? It took him a short while to solve the disappearance of his favorite accessory, however he managed to recall what had happened. 

He was so lost and intoxicated with Chan's compliments that he didn't feel him skillfully finessing the handle and taking it off his wrist. 

Jeongin couldn't help but smirk at the man's social intelligence. He knew how to control his attention and mind so well that Jeongin felt like a stupid puppet. But it was mesmerizing to witness pick-pocketing in real life and not just in movies. 

... 

Jeongin smiled amusingly while he waited at the police station. God, he was so ignorant two years ago. Luck played a bigger part in his life than intelligence and he was aware. He could've gotten butchered like a lamb that day and company Mr. Lee for the rest of his afterlife. 

What a naïve kid he was. 

His legs started getting numb from how long he was sitting in the waiting room. For the third time that day he approached the duty policeman and asked once more. 

"Is Lieutenant Choi done?" he sharpened his voice so he sounded more serious. 

"No," the policeman denied. "Lieutenant Choi has plenty of work to do. You're going to have to wait a bit more." 

Jeongin pressed his lips into a thin line and leaned in to whisper something to the duty guy. He wished he didn't have to approach things through Chan's name, but his options were getting limited. 

"Tell him Mr. Bang said it's urgent." 

"I'm sorry, I-" 

"And give him this," Jeongin placed a shiny amulet in his hand and smiled. 

It was Chan's gang's symbol - a silver wolf's fang. It was almost like Kim's blue bandanas, just way less noticeable and not all of the members wore them. He managed to get through his work a lot quicker when Chan was involved, however Jeongin still felt guilty for using the man's blood, sweat and tears for his own successes. 

The duty policeman sighed and left without a word and Jeongin knew he would be coming back with Lieutenant Choi in tow in just a few minutes.

Jeongin’s hands would’ve been drowned in sweat if he was to do this job two years ago – when he was very little introduced into social intelligence and psychological tricks. He was just very good at collecting info, however his skills grew wider and firmer. Through Chan he managed to learn so much about manipulating and persuading that he became Chan’s best spokesman among the group of them. One time, Chan told him that he could persuade a man that he had committed a murder even though he hadn’t. That’s how good he was.

When making important deals, Chan always had him and Changbin by his side – Changbin was his brawn and Jeongin was his wit. Although the two of them were playing an urgent role in his deals, Chan was more than capable of doing them by himself. However, he just enjoyed looking professional.

Jeongin heard the door get opened and closed and he was soon to meet the eyes of the-one-and-only Lieutenant Choi. Choi looked like a man in his late forties, clearly way older than Jeongin. His face barely had any wrinkles, on the contrary, which either meant that he had a decent skincare routine or an atrocious life. Jeongin doubted it was the first assumption.

Lieutenant Choi bowed his head to Jeongin and offered to lead the way for their private conversation. Jeongin willingly followed with a smile across his face.

Soon, they both sat on the opposite sides of the table in one of the offices in the department. It looked exactly like in Jeongin’s favorite crime movies – long pinning board hanged on the wall behind Choi, each of the pins connected with a red string. The lighting was poor and it was extremely quiet. The only thing Jeongin could hear were his own heartbeats along with the taps of Choi’s fingers on the table.

“Lieutenant,” Jeongin began softly, same old smile painted on his lips while he looked him in the eyes. “I believe you already know the reason why I’m here.”

Choi refused to look at him – his eyes were changing focuses every second and Jeongin knew it was from nervousness. The man sighed and shook his head in disbelief.

“He’s getting out of control, Jeongin. We can’t let him do what he wants in this city. He’s already caused us so much shit that we can’t let this slip away,” Lieutenant appealed.

“I’d love to tell you this is the last time, but I do not know so myself.”

“I can’t drop the case.”

“Why not, Lieutenant?”

Choi stared at a vacant spot in his office, planning what to say next. His fingers were shaking while Jeongin remained unbothered from their conversation. No matter how much Choi wanted to refuse dropping Chan’s case, Jeongin knew he wouldn’t be able to do so.

Men in fear are the easiest to manipulate. That’s what Chan had personally taught him.

“He’s killing people in public places and we can’t afford to let him do so. At least not after that incident with Ahn,” he finally looked him in the eyes.

“The one where he butchered several of Ahn’s men at the Han River or the one where he gifted you Ahn’s head in a package?”

“Both,” he grimaced in revulsion. “I don’t want any of that happening again. Besides, he gave me a word he wouldn’t start any more gang wars if dropped the previous case.”

Jeongin nodded in agreement. “Frankly, he promised me that I wouldn’t have to encounter you again, Lieutenant, but here we are,” he chuckled lightly. “Bang offered you 2 million won to drop it and-“

“I can’t do that,” Choi shook his head when Jeongin pulled out an envelope in front of his eyes. “No, I can’t take his offer.”

“I thought you do,” Jeongin cocked his head to the side and crossed his arms. “Why didn’t you arrest him if you didn’t want his offer?”

“We don’t have the evidence-“

“Oh, you have plenty of evidence against him, Lieutenant. You have his shoe-print, his amulet, some video footage… I’m certain you were waiting for this bribe.”

Choi shook his head in denial. “No,” he stood up and headed for the door. “I’m politely declining your offer and asking you to get out before I drag you out of this room.”

Jeongin sighed and leaned back in his chair without planning to do so. This was the time he used the private information he was able to collect with just a little skill. These type of persuades were his favorite for they always woke up thrill and excitement through his body. He loved hitting their most vulnerable places.

“Wow, Lieutenant,” Jeongin chuckled lightly. “I didn’t know you pride is worth more than your son’s life.”

His words stung along with the silence that was spreading through. Bullseye. 

“Pancreatic cancer, right? Mr. Bang was offering to pay all of his therapies just for a little cooperation, Lieutenant.”

“Those therapies are way more than 2 million won,” Choi frowned.

“But they are not worth more than Bang can pay,” Jeongin stood up and approached the man. He lent him a piece of paper with a phone number. “Mr. Bang lost his mother to liver cancer, hence he’s more than willing to help your son. He know how precious the time is when life is on the line, Lieutenant. Call me when you make up your final decision.”

Jeongin made sure to look him in the eyes while he spoke. His words were crystal clear for a reason. And, no, Chan’s mother didn’t die from liver cancer. Actually, she’s very much alive just somewhere far away from Chan for a reason. Jeongin had to lie to Choi in order to gain his trust because people tend to cooperate more when they feel the emotional connection with whoever they’re doing so. Besides, Jeongin knew how precious children were.

“And, Lieutenant,” Jeongin turned away just before exiting the office. “The more time you take, the lower the chances get for him to survive. Call me tomorrow.”

He politely closed the door, letting the silence hit Choi’s thoughts. Maybe Chan knew how to commit murder, but Jeongin knew how to let the thoughts kill inside. That was why Chan liked him so much. Because they were so alike in certain areas, yet so different when it comes to seeing the end result.

Screams were music to Chan’s ears, but nothing could put Jeongin to sleep better than a lullaby of soft sobs.


	13. Chan

Chan couldn't stop smiling during their family dinner. Though, none of his teammates really bothered to ask why he was getting so excited. They all knew Chan could barely wait for the after-dinner activities. 

Apart from that thrill, he was jubilant because he finally got to eat something that Minho made. Felix wasn't bad at cooking, if anything, he was pretty skilled at timing the eggs, but Minho's dishes were something indescribably different. He knew how to bring out the memories from Chan - the memories when he suddenly appeared into their small household. 

Minho was 17 at the time, Changbin was 16. The three of them had plenty of fun walking down the small forest near their home from that time. They played 'hide and seek', 'tag you're it' and 'I spy with my little eye'. People who didn't know them at the time would've said they’ve somehow escaped kindergarten, but frankly they all just missed being kids. None of them were ever kids. 

Unexpectedly, that was when Minho kissed Chan for the first time. Changbin took far too long to find them during one of their hide and seek games, hence they both took it to their advantage. At first, it started with pecks and Minho's giggles, and after that they just got a lot more comfortable to the point where they started returning home with hickeys painted on their necks and collarbones. That was the way Changbin found out about it. 

Once, Changbin couldn’t find them for two painfully long hours. Little did he know that the two of them actually returned, thinking that Changbin got bored after 15 minutes. They were forbidden from possessing a phone or any kind of communication device for safety reasons – it was obnoxiously easy to track devices during that time. And none of them could afford being tracked and abducted by other gangs’ members. They were growing a one of their own.

The amount of discomfort it brought to Changbin was unreal, majorly for the fact that Minho was one of Kim's men. He had been gifted to Chan in order for the deals to proceed. Yes, Chan took it with a grain of salt too, however he got used to Minho’s boldness and honesty faster than the lightning itself. And Minho felt at home soon after he befriended them. 

Back then, Kim and Chan were on better terms, hence Chan agreed to have Minho as a trade for some pathetic packs of drugs. He felt pity for the younger boy, he couldn't imagine selling one of his own men for any kind of drugs. It was disgustingly wrong and Chan was willing to offer the scared new boy a place to live and feel safe without worrying when he’s going to be sold yet again.

Jisung and Changbin left the table soon after finishing their meal. The fun tradition of staying present until the others are done was long gone and unappreciated. Work had to be done and further plans had to be made. 

Right as Chan was about to leave Minho alone to clean everything up, he saw the shine in Minho's eyes staring at him. His jaw was clenched as well as his fist around the knife he used to cut the well-done beef. The older cocked his head and watched him back nonchalantly. 

Minho sighed and shook his head at Chan. "I hate the way you look at him." 

Chan knew what Minho was talking about before his mouth even opened to speak. "Look at who?" 

If glares could kill, Chan would've been slaughtered right now. There was something in Minho's gestures that was unfamiliar to Chan. He had never seen his friend like this. 

"Look at who, baby?" 

"Oh, don't act like you don't know." 

Chan came closer to the ginger and leaned further to his face, eyes softly wandering across his features. "Minho, dear... I sincerely don't know what you're talking about." 

All of a sudden, Chan felt a slight sting to the hand that he put on the table to lean on. His head shifted to see what happened and he found Minho stabbing through the table with a kitchen knife, damaging its surface entirely and cutting the skin on Chan's thumb along the way. It sent shivers down his spine while his blood tinted their old table cloth red.

When he returned his gaze, Minho's eyes got all teary and his lips were pressed into a thin line. 

"Did you kiss him?" he almost spat. 

Chan acted like he finally figured out the reason why Minho was bothered - he mimicked open-mouth realization and a light relief chuckle after that. "No, baby. I'd never kiss anyone's lips but yours," Chan smiled reassuringly. "I'll never love anyone more than I love you." 

Lies. Pure lies. 

Minho shook his head and restlessly looked away. Chan wanted to tell him not to worry, but he was sure Minho has heard enough lies for his lifetime during the past few seconds. He didn't want to lose such an important pawn in his chest game, hence he began comforting the younger with such fake emotion that he felt kind of proud for his acting skills.

"Hey," Chan lifted his comrade's head to look him in the eyes while he smiled consolingly. "Where'd you get that obnoxious idea from, baby?" 

Minho pouted. "You've been acting differently ever since he came here." 

"I haven't." 

"You have."

"I haven't." 

"You have!" Minho raised his voice. "You've started humming when you wake up, you've been avoiding to let me in your room! Even your tone of speaking changed, Chan!" 

In disbelief, Chan patiently listened to him spilling his emotions right from his blabbering mouth. Maybe both of them changed after all. Chan may have unintentionally started doing all those things, but Minho changed as well. He got so full of himself lately that Chan could barely recognize the man he was once kissing so dearly out of unconditional love. Where was the happiness in his eyes? Maybe it left along with Chan's affection towards him.

"You've gotten soft, Channie," he pouted sadly. 

The brunette shook his head briefly and denied it. He couldn't get empathic at any cost - it could cause chaos among the members. Their whole drug dealing empire would crumble down in seconds along with their personal belongings and lives. None of them had anything besides this pathetic place and it bothered Chan, although it shouldn't have.

Chan previously gathered all of them one by one, firstly Changbin, then Minho, then Jisung and Jeongin... Of course he cared at a certain degree, but it didn't mean he had to continue singing lullabies until they were 40 years old. He needed capable workers and that's what he had to make from them.

Chan actually made them someone.

Minho stood up from his chair abruptly and leaned closer to Chan's face, gazing through his eyes like he wasn't mad just a minute ago. "Kick Felix out of the gang, Chan."

"No," he didn't hesitate.

"He can't do shit, he's useless."

Chan narrowed his eyes at him, flames bursting out of them. If that wasn't Minho who was talking to him he would've cut his filthy tongue. "So are you, Minho," he spat every single word. "So are you."

"I can-"

"You can't do shit either and I'm not complaining about it every fucking day! Grow the fuck up!" he bursted for a few seconds.

However, those few seconds were enough to bring the tears into Minho's eyes yet again. His lip quivered and he pulled away, but Chan was quick to keep him in place. He didn't fight, he didn't beg him to let go. He just stood there devastated and fought the tears back as Chan held him in place.

"I'm not going to kick anyone from the team. We are all playing a certain part of it to function properly. There is no need to eliminate members when they aren't doing anything badly," Chan recited to him like he was a child. "So don't disrespect anyone here regardless of how important they are for the team."

Those words hanged in the air for a decent amount of time. Minho had nothing to add to Chan's scolding and Chan thought he had done a magnificent job at holding the group. When disagreements and fights appeared, Chan was the one to put them back in place and hold it together. He was the one to sacrifice the most for their triumphs. And although they weren't family, Chan treated them like one for he never had it on his own. It felt like they collectively filled the recesses in his life when he couldn't do so. But family was by blood, and they weren't connected by blood. 

When Chan was about to release Minho, he felt the younger one leaning onto him as a contrary. His fists clutched Chan's shirt like he was holding for dear life and his face was wet. 

"Chan," he cooed softly into the crook of Chan's neck. "You're slipping away from me, you know that?" 

Carefully, Chan moved Minho's bangs with his hand briefly, only to tenderly kiss his forehead. He quickly moved to his lips and placed a peck there as well, then he pulled him back into his arms and squeezed tightly like never before. It’s been a while since he held Minho this way – when he was so vulnerable and fractured.

Chan wasn't slipping out of Minho's grip. Sadly, he was already out of it.

He looked Minho in the eyes and smiled. “Wait for me in the bedroom, yeah?” he tapped his seized hands to let go.

“I don’t wanna fuck right now.”

“We don’t have to. Just wait for me, would you?” Chan cocked his head playfully while Minho doubted every word he said.

The ginger knew something was horribly off when Chan was acting polite and, actually, asking them for a favor instead of demanding right away. The smile on his lips was so fake that it would win 1st place at any Barbie doll modeling competition. Although, Minho smiled back and walked to Chan’s room while he got back to kitchen and opened a drawer for unknown reasons.

Chan waited for him to completely get lost from his field of view. The devil on his shoulder was begging him to lock the door and leave Minho inside while he finished the not-so-pretty job, but the other devil was telling him to get over the fucking kissing session quickly and head for the attic right after. Both of the options were wrong, but when it comes to Chan, nothing is wrong until it ruins your ego.

His steps were slow when he was getting to his room with an ice cube in his hand. He wanted it to melt as much as it could so they wouldn’t kiss for long. As he entered the room, he saw Minho comfortably sitting on the chair from his working desk. 

“Up,” he gestured Minho as he approached him with a sly smirk.

The younger obeyed quickly even though his eyes did a full 360 before doing so. God, it ruined all of Chan’s reasons to act gently.

Chan placed the cube between his lips and moved closer to Minho. In hasty movements, he lifted the younger man onto the table and came between his legs. He could swear he heard him moan to the touch of his lips on his neck and jawline. The cube slid flawlessly as it left the water mark behind to where Chan's mouth traveled previously.

Soon, Minho's senses got familiar to the sensation and he was enjoying the coldness on his collarbone way more than he should have. He didn't care about Jisung or Changbin hearing his moans through the door because, even if they heard them, they wouldn't give a fuck. Speaking about it, Minho could use a quick fuck.

When the cube got drastically smaller and more comfortable for his mouth, Chan moved to Minho's lips and pushed the ice between his lips as his hands began to wander down the other's shirt. With freezing lips and breath as cold as the winter breeze, he kissed and sucked the skin on Minho's neck lightly, making sure it doesn't leave bruises. What would've Felix thought if he saw Minho with fresh hickeys just after a few days of kissing Chan?

"Did it melt?" Chan pulled away and looked at the younger.

Minho responded with a brief nod and a smile while his hands intertwined with the dark curls of Chan's hair.

The previous part of the session was also the easiest part. Chan was hesitant of placing his lips onto his friend's for the mere fact of something that appeared in his mind the last time he did so.

Felix.

He was so scared of imagining Felix instead of Minho that his mind was seconds away from making a decision to leave the room without a second thought. And he would've done so if Minho wasn't the one to start the kiss. The younger moved his tongue across Chan's lips and then completely leaned in.

God, Chan was so scared to close his eyes, but he did so anyway. He could slice throats and break bones like sticks, but couldn't bear to kiss someone he truly didn't want to at the moment. What kind of a complexity was that?

The moment his eyes closed and his lips parted to feel the other's, his mind snapped for a moment. The exact moment he was so afraid for - seeing Felix instead of Minho. It was a sin that he was mixing up two completely different people and ruining them individually, but his mind loved playing those kind of tricks. He loved imagining what he wanted instead of what he had.

"Why'd you stop?" Minho pulled away to look at his dumbfounded leader.

"I-" Chan looked him in the eyes and lied. "I got a brain-freeze."

To his brief response, Minho smiled and leaned back into the kiss, pulling Chan along the way. They exchanged hot breaths and bites along the way. It lasted way more than it should have - until Chan's lips were plump and Minho had a blood mark from the ravishing bite. Until they were panting.

Chan excused himself with work right as Minho started pulling his shirt up. He quickly walked away with a smile on his lips while the other confusingly stared back at him. Quickly, he closed the door and exhaled a deep breath of discomfort while his mind thought about only one thing. 

He thought about the things Felix was doing to him without actually knowing it. He thought about his lips.

...

The kitchen had actually never felt more comfortable to wait in with Changbin and Jisung. The three of them were supposed to finish the work alone, but Chan deliberately insisted on waiting for their newest member to arrive. Chan sent Felix a message saying that he has to come to their house right away and the younger confirmed the order in seconds. He was slowly but surely becoming one of them and Chan hadn't felt this proud in a while.

Besides that, Felix was told to wear all black from now on and Chan had to explain why that was the case. Of course he only mentioned the lack of attention that less saturated colors gave. However, the real reason why he wanted Felix to wear all black today was because blood stains aren't as distinct on dark clothes as they are on light fabrics. And today was the day everything had to get a little dirty.

Chan was humming one of his favorite songs that he learned in school when he was little. He accidentally came across it when he turned on the rusty radio after god-knows how many years of collecting dust in their attic. Changbin knew that song as well, but he most certainly didn't want to sing it even if it was his favorite. Jisung didn't really listen to songs when he was young, hence he couldn't join Chan in the magnificent humming choir. 

All of their attention turned to Chan when his phone vibrated. That must've been Felix. 

Chan hovered his hand over it and read the text silently as the other two watched in anticipation. 

"Jeongin," Chan raised his eyebrows in surprise. He looked at the texts the youngest had sent him just moments ago while Jisung peeked his head to see what was going on. 

'Lieutenant Choi dropped the case an hour ago. He required 3 million won for his son instead of 2 to agree to your offer.'

Chan grinned victoriously at his phone and responded. 

'Perfect. Good job, Jeongin.'

'Anytime, sir.' 

His fingers pressed the off button on his phone as he lifted his head triumphantly to share the news with his assistants. "The police are not on our track anymore. Jeongin made sure they forget about what happened in the forest." 

Jisung's jaw slightly dropped while Changbin's face remained impassive. Of course they'd be impressed by Chan's best spokesman. 

"Boss, I think Jeongin is into some kind of witchery..." Jisung assumed from the amazing news. "That guy has magic words." 

Chan chuckled. "He has an even more magic smile, don't you think so?" 

"Definitely. And don't even get me talking about his eyes," Jisung began excessively praising. 

"Charisma, social intelligence and a pretty smile. That's all it takes." 

Sometimes the streets possessed way more talent and skill than pricey faculties. It was unbelievable to see how many people Chan could turn into something just by giving them a reason to improve. How many people he turned into his loyal workers just because he knew what the world holds for him and his plans. 

His phone soon buzzed for the second time and Chan checked if it was actually Felix. To his fortune, that assumption was correct and he tapped the screen to see what it says. 

'Sir, I'm outside of your house.'

'Come in,' Chan placed the phone down again and waited for the door to open. 

However, nothing happened and the room got drowned in another long buzz. 

'The door has a password. I can't open it.'

'251098.'

After a few seconds he heard the front door click and a quiet beep go off. It meant that someone had typed the password properly and entered the house. 

In an instance, they were all greeted by a panting Felix whose hair was a plain mess, yet it fitted his new dark style perfectly. His face was somewhat sweaty due to running from the taxi to their house. It reminded Chan of Changbin when he was younger - the way he valued time and precision over everything. 

"Good day, sir," Felix bowed nervously and timidly approached their table only to sit next to Chan right when he nodded back. 

A wide smile tucked Chan's lips. "Do you know why I called you here?" 

"I have no idea," he shook his head and watched everyone's reaction in order to find out why exactly he had been called. 

"You know the guy we found in the woods when we assassinated Kim's two men?" Chan sang the last few words like they were the most beautiful lullaby. 

"Yes." 

"Well," Chan tilted his head and maliciously grinned to Changbin as the other returned the smile. "I wanted to show you how we extract information from our subjects." 

An odd unease grew wider in Felix and Chan felt like they were on the right track. He stood up and the rest of them followed the leader into the staircase that led to the laboratory. They weren't actually getting to the lab, but halting right in the middle of the stairs and looking up at the trapdoor.

Chan gestured Changbin and Jisung to come in first as he wanted Felix to be the last assistant to enter his favorite place in this house. Although Felix looked hesitant at first, he was quick to climb the ladder that led to the attic as Chan cautioned his every move.

In little but no time, he was up and it was Chan’s turn to join them. However, he couldn’t move for the blonde was standing right where the ladder connected to the floor. Instantly, he tapped Felix’s leg, initiating him to move away, but Felix was frozen in place. His short fingers were shaking as a comparison to his stiff body before the sigh.

“Move,” Chan demanded and Changbin was quick to pull Felix away from the entrance.

Chan adored the smell of blood in the air, regardless of how fresh it was. There was just something about it that had an opiating effect on his senses when he looked at it, smelled it or felt it. Yes, it was disgusting, but Chan couldn’t care less. It was only a small group of people that got to know him to the extent where they were informed about things that he liked and disliked, anyways. 

He briefly looked at Felix just to check if his darling wasn’t going to faint anytime soon. He wasn’t certain. All of Felix’s moves were brief – his head-turns, breathing, stepping away… Fear ruled him as if he was nothing.

“Do you like the place?” Chan placed a hand to his back.

It was dark, disregarding the light that was on. Various tools and materials were hanged on the walls as a collection. Once, it was someone’s workshop. But now, it was their torture room.

The youngest among them wouldn’t have been so scared if he entered the room without anyone in it. It looked like a normal studio for a carpenter or, perhaps, a craftsman. But with a man covered in bruises and blood, it looked like something far worse.

“Don’t be scared,” Chan said softly. “He isn’t dead yet.”

The blonde got startled when he heard Jisung drag two chairs and put them against a wall. He recklessly sat on it and leaned back as if he was in some sort of a theatre, while the youngest kept frozen.

“Sit down, baby,” Chan pushed him to the chair. “If you start feeling nauseous at any point, just call me or tell Jisung. Understand?”

He nodded and took a short intake of breath.

Then, Chan returned to Changbin and the man sitting in a completely different chair in the middle of the room, eyes covered with a blindfold and hands tied behind as well as each of his legs. He was barely conscious and his senses were at their lowest.

Changbin was quick to change that as he grabbed the bucked full of cold water and spilled it all over the man to completely wake him up. Poor guy gasped in surprise and almost fell from the chair when he felt it.

“Rise and shine, princess,” Chan sang as he put the gloves onto his hands. “Did you sleep well?”

Their victim started panicking as he tried to kick out of the ropes, but Changbin had secured them too well for any kind of human to escape. 

“Where am I?” the baffled as he desperately tried to catch his breath. 

“You’re at my house.”

“Who are you?!”

Chan told Changbin to remove his blindfold. Eyes squinting, he tried to look up at whoever was beginning to torture him. A few seconds were needed for his vision to clear up, and then he saw a smiling man before him.

“Bang?” he called. “Bang Chan?”

“Oh, so Kim has shown you how I look like, hasn’t he?” Chan crouched, still glaring at him with eyes full of hatred. He despised everything that was Kim’s. “So, what exactly has Kim requested from you? To hurt me? To hurt one of mine?” he paused for a second. “To kill me?”

“Nothing, Bang! I was just a supervisor!”

Chan nodded and told Changbin to come next to him. The stood quiet in front of him – Chan smiling and Changbin with an impassive expression. Their shadows hovered over him like he was just a little bug in a garden full of giants.

“Liar, liar,” Chan sang playfully. “Pants on fire.”

A loud thud echoed through the room. Changbin had hit him with such force that he fell off the chair and hit the ground. Chan slightly turned his head to smile at Felix whose hands were covering his eyes. He mouthed quietly, but Felix sure heard him. “Don’t be scared.”

His hands lowered to his thighs as Jisung tapped his back as sign for good job.

Then, the leader turned back to the lying man and crouched back to lift him up. “Don’t make this worse for yourself. Just answer honestly and I’ll return you back to Kim as soon as we finish. Understand?”

The man nodded and Chan repeated the question once more. “Kim ordered me to execute your man if things went out of plan.”

“Hmm, “Chan tilted his head. “Tell me more about your plan.”

He coughed. “The two of his other goons were supposed to kill your assistant as a revenge. He told us to kill every single one of your men if we see them on the streets or outside of them. But he didn’t tell us to search.”

Chan nodded again. “What else has Kim been planning?”

“I don’t know that, Bang.”

“Oh, you don’t?” Chan looked at Changbin and the other approached Kim’s man again.

Right before he was about to strike for the second time, the man spoke again. “He mentioned planting spies around your district to gather more information!”

The room went silent, the only thing of sound was his panting in panic. 

“How many men does Kim have?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. Two hundred maybe?”

“Maybe?” Chan narrowed his eyes. “Everything could happen if you add a maybe to it.”

“Around two hundred,” the man corrected himself.

“What about his weapon supply?”

“I don’t know that.”

Chan lifted his hand and sighed. Changbin knew what to do.

“He’s got warehouses full of weapons outside the city!” he spoke before Changbin even came close. “Nobody knows where, but it’s somewhere on the west.”

“Oh, wow! That must cost a lot,” Chan leaned on the nearest counter, looking at the various tools he possessed. “How bad is he with money?”

He turned around eagerly only to see his lips pressed into a thin like. He didn’t look happy about this subject.

“Pretty bad.”

“When was your last pay?”

The man looked around the room, then he made eye contact with all of the people in the room. Any normal person would’ve thought he did that from panic, however Chan wasn’t ignorant when it came to body language and behavior. He searched for their empathy by giving them sad looks and glances. He wanted to get out desperately and Chan wasn’t happy about it. The disrespect was getting on his nerves and he was seconds away from killing the man himself.

“A bit more than a month ago.”

“And do you have a family to feed?”

He stared in confusement at Chan. “Uh… Yes, a younger sister.”

“And if I offer you to come and work for me would you take the offer?” Chan was now completely facing him, head tilted as his eyes glistened from the very little light they had. Felix and Jisung stared shockingly at him, not believing what he has just said.

“I would,” he responded instantly.

“Why?”

“Because Kim doesn’t value my life.”

Chan gave him a sad look and pouted. “That’s sad,” he commented. “Because I don’t value your life as well. You’re a traitor and the one thing I hate the most are people who betray who they have.” He picked up a box-cutting knife and tossed it to Changbin. “Alright, boys, that’s how you extract information. Now we get to watch,” Chan paced through the room to stand behind Felix’s chair, hands on his shoulders.

Jisung squinted and Felix held Chan’s arms on his back as Changbin drew closer to the screaming man. It was a traumatic sight, but Chan knew he was about to love every part of it unlike Felix. 

With slow steps, Changbin walked to the man, completely unbothered by his deafening cries and yelps. Instead of actually getting to the work, he admired the dull blade that was once used to cut through paper and cardboard. How on fucking Earth was he supposed to cut through flesh with that?

"You promised!" the man yelled in agony. "You promised you'd let me go, you fucking monster!"

"I did," Chan grinned widely while massaging Felix's stiff shoulders. "But I only keep promises to my men. And, thank god, you're not one of them."

Changbin swung his arm and stabbed just above the beginning of the man's index finger, filling the attic with miserable screams. His best henchman watched the scene in disappointment. The small blade was too dull to cut through, but it hurt more when it wasn't sharp. On the other side, Jisung grimaced disgustedly while Felix watched with fright as the blood dripped past he chair's leg and onto the floor.  
He pulled the knife back and stabbed again in the same spot, leaving his finger pathetically hanging by the remaining small section of skin and muscle. 

"I can't watch this," Felix squeezed Chan's hand as Changbin passed to the next finger. "So much... Blood..." 

For a second, Chan looked at him and saw a bit of revulsion on his face. He thought that his newest member was, indeed, getting stronger and stronger every day with them. However, something else captivated his attention when he met his eyes. Felix wasn't so scared anymore, he was more of disgusted by blood rather than seeing death before his eyes. Chan could tell he really wanted to prove himself and watch as Chan had told him, but the sickness was getting ahold of him quickly. 

Abruptly, Chan raised his arm and showed Changbin a cutting motion, indicating to end it fast before the younger two fainted. In two swift moves, Changbin ended the job and backed away from the blood that was spilling from his throat. Even the walls got painted red, let alone Changbin and his black clothes. It was such a beautiful sight, and yet Felix had to turn away his head to prevent himself from vomiting. So much went to waste. 

... 

Chan was watching over Felix who was taking a nap in his bed. Poor thing was seconds away from fainting when they left the cursed attic. That sigh would scar him for sure, but Chan was hoping it would strengthen his psyche more than ruin it.

It's been a couple of hours now that he was in a strong dream. His ribcage bounced evenly every time he took a long breath into his lungs. Chan couldn't get his eyes off of his plump lips since he fell to sleep in such an adorable pout. Damn, he wanted to lay next him badly and rest for goddamn once. He wanted to feel his pulse through his soft fingertips and let Felix rest his tired head onto his biceps. But dreaming and wishing wasn't his job and, therefore, not his priority. 

"Wake up..." he whispered and shook his arm lightly. ”Felix, wake up." 

The blonde shook his head subconsciously and frowned, crumbling further into the sheets. 

"Goddammit, wake up," the leader was now drastically shaking his whole body to which he finally woke up. 

"Woah, what the-" Felix's eyes widened when he saw Chan in front of him. "Oh, hello, sir." 

Chan painfully watched his instant waking up smile fade away as seconds passed by. It seemed like realization hit his poor mind yet again after seeing so much blood today. With figure stiff as a rock, Felix leaned back into bed and watched Chan without a word. 

Chan stood up. "I've got something for you," he smiled after some time. "It's a gift for your well behavior." 

His hands opened the giant closet and searched for something on the last shelf. When he finally found the small box, smaller than Felix's hand, he approached the lying boy and sat next to him tenderly. 

"Turn around." 

"What is it?" 

"Turn around, darling."

When his head finally shifted to look at the wall, Chan opened the box and grabbed what was inside. A thin golden necklace hung from both of his fingers and glistened to the room light. It had a tiny crystal star attached to it as an amulet which made it seem perfect for someone like Felix. 

Chan hovered it over his head and back behind his neck. Shivers ran through Felix's body from the touch of cold metal against his skin. His even breathing abruptly got cut. 

"Do you like it?" Chan pulled his chin back to look him in the eyes. No matter how glimmering the amulet was, it couldn't beat the black pearls in his eyes. 

Felix took his phone and used the locked black screen as a mirror to see the necklace. "Why?" his mouth was loose. 

Chan's lips turned into a warm smile. "Because you helped us get home alive when Kim tried to kill Changbin." 

His cheeks got red so he lowered his gaze down. "Thank you, sir." 

"No, thank you for staying next to me. Speaking about it," Chan's hand found his. "I have something to ask you." 

"Yes?" 

Their eyes met into a strong gaze, both shining so prettily. "Are you sure you want to stay here with us? There's no turning back if you say yes, so I want to be sure I have all of you with me." 

"I-" Felix cut the gaze by wandering his sight around the room. "I think I do..." 

"No thinking. I want you to be sure." 

In an instant, Felix looked him in the eyes, determination bursting out of them. "I'm sure." 

"100 percent?" 

"Yes," he sealed the promise. 

"Then," Chan let go of his hand and stood up to search in his closet once again. "I have another gift for you. You won't like it as much, but I think it'll look fine." When he found what he was looking for, he tossed the box to Felix. He caught it regardless of how tired he was. 

It was box hair dye. Chan couldn't differ shades, hence he picked up the one thank looked the prettiest on the box. It was dark brown and that's all he knew about it. 

"Now?" Felix raised his brows when he realized what the box was. "Isn't it kind of late?"

"Nope," Chan's arms circled his waist and he pulled him out of bed in a single move. 

Felix giggled to the sudden shake, but let Chan carry him to the bathroom where he had a stool prepared for him. He continued giggling as Chan took his shirt off and opened the box. 

"Do you know anything about dyeing your hair?" Felix looked at him playfully. 

"How hard can it be? It's like painting but with permanent color," Chan chuckled as he put on a pair of gloves so his hands wouldn't get dirty. He mixed the dye with hydrogen peroxide and turned Felix's head so he looked into the immense mirror. 

"But you have to work fast and cover everything," he remarked and slightly leaned his head backwards so Chan could start the work. 

Everything went well until they got to the back half of his head. That's when Chan switched his position to stretch. 

"Are you tired," Felix giggled again. 

"No, I was just wondering how you'd look like with a tattoo like mine," Chan pointed the end of the brush to the right side of his chest, slightly dyeing it. "Here." 

"Your tattoo?" Felix turned around, surprised. 

"Yeah, you haven't seen it?" 

"I've only glanced at it." 

In a few seconds Chan's shirt was also off, revealing his sculptured muscles as well as the tattoo below his collarbone on the right. It still looked like he had gotten it just a few days ago instead of 8 years ago. He remembered how it'd hurt to get it done that day as well as the following week of tingling and burning.

Felix completely turned to him. His eyes were stuck to the small black art on Chan's body - the little skull. Chan swore he saw him smile, but it was so unnoticeable that even he doubted it after a few seconds. 

His cold fingers touched his skin and went over it just to feel the texture. There was none of it for the tattooist had done an impeccable job. 

"When did you get it?" 

Chan looked at his own tattoo and narrowed his eyes. "Around 8 years ago." 

Felix raised his eyebrows in surprise. "So why a skull?" 

He had also wondered why a skull. Why had he wished to get something so dark when he was just 14 years old? Perhaps, that skull was representing the old him. The Chan that smiled brightly with his friends every day in school. The Chan that loved listening to music while on the way back to home. The Chan that had a reason to be better other than his own self. 

He wanted to treasure the little Chan that died in the river that night and keep him to his heart. Always. He wanted to remember what he could've been if he hadn't ruined his family. Always. 

"That's me." 

Felix smiled timidly. "You aren't dead, sir." 

"I'm not," Chan confirmed. 

But he wished he was when he heard the sudden knock on the door. 

"Chan," Minho called loudly from the other side. "Are you there?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any good Stray Kids fanfic recommendations, please msg me on Twitter <3  
> @zivkovicdanica_  
> I also follow back :3


	14. Felix

Why had his fingers felt so shaky when he touched the buried ink into Chan's skin? Why did he have a lump in his throat when he looked up? Felix thought it would take about a week to get used to Chan and his character, but he was damn wrong. It's been more than that and he still felt like every single part of Chan was foreign to his senses - his voice when he wakes up, his touch, his posture and body, as well as his smell. Chan had this masculine smell that he once hated. 

All of the boys, especially bullies, from his school wore masculine colognes, so Felix preferred having something fruity or flowery rather than that. It made him not think of their obnoxious personality and hideous faces every time he had a large intake of breath. However, Chan might become the reason for Felix to start liking them again. 

"Chan," somebody knocked and called from the outside. "Are you there?" 

Chan's head jabbed to the side and he froze. The door was shut, but Felix was sure they could clearly hear through it. 

"Yeah," Chan yelled, trying to seem as calm as possible, but his eyes gave him away. 

"Can I come in?" now Felix recognized it was Minho. 

"No, I'm naked." 

"I see you naked every other night," Minho's voice was full of irritation. 

God, Felix hated it. Maybe Chan wasn't his, but there was no need to rub in their intimacy into his pining heart. 

The door knob started moving down. "If you press it any harder, you'll regret the sight, Minho," Chan assured and got back to coloring Felix's hair. 

Minho laughed from the other side. "Oh, seeing you every day is already a bad sight, Channie. How much worse could it get?" 

"Guess," Chan's voice was low, but he was acting like Minho doesn't bother him at all. Like having your lover interrupt this scene wasn't uncomfortable. 

"Are you fucking somebody else?" Chan didn't respond to that. 

Suddenly, the door was flying open, slamming against the bathroom tiles and shattering one of them in pieces. Felix got startled from it and Chan was casually holding the brush like nothing happened. He didn't even bother to look at furious Minho from the outside. 

"What the fuck?!" Minho's eyes flamed at what was before them, hatred and fury drowning him. "You said you-" 

"I'm coloring his hair," Chan exclaimed. "You are overreacting." 

"You are half naked! How the fuck is this overreacting?!" 

Felix wanted to crouch down into a little ball, cover himself up in blankets and sleep for the whole day. He didn't like yelling nor disagreements - it reminded him of mom and dad. 

Hence when Minho's two fires met his eyes, he felt like crying. "Get out of the fucking house!" Minho pointed his finger at Felix and screamed. 

He would've done so if Chan didn't grab his arm and held him in place. "Don't. If I say you stay, you stay." 

Minho launched at the younger boy; hands ready to choke him. His face looked far worse than Chan's when he had killed that one Kim's man at the forest. No, Minho looked like he'd go against an army of soldiers and suffocate them one by one until he was out of anger. 

Before Minho could grab ahold of Felix, Chan stood in front of him in a protective manner. From behind, he couldn't see much, but he sure felt Chan's strong body being pushed against him and a loud slap. Shit. 

It took Chan a few seconds to recover from the hit, but he was quick to act by grabbing one of Minho's hands and pulling it behind so he was unable to hurt anyone else. Frankly, Felix wanted to cry and scream as well from panic, but he knew it was to no use. Chan was struggling to keep him in place as he yelled his guts out until his voice began being rasp and cracking. 

"Let go!" he vied for the freedom of his arms. 

Chan didn't loosen his hold one bit. "Mino, darling, you are overreact-"

"Don't you fucking call me darling you ignorant piece of shit!" 

With his back against the wall, Felix watched in fright as the two of them fought - Minho for the sake of being able to strike again, and Chan... Well, Chan was fighting for Minho's sake. He could've killed him if he wanted to, but instead he sucked up the slap like it hadn't happened and held him in one place so he didn't get the potential to hurt anyone else. 

Soon, Han came in with a confused expression on his face, then he started panicking as well. Felix wondered what he had thought about when he entered the bathroom. Perhaps he thought that Minho caught them in the act. Or maybe that Chan caught Minho threatening Felix. Either way he would never know for Han rushed out of the bathroom, calling Changbin's name on the way to the attic. 

Minho's energy was starting to fade - his breaths started getting faster and he wasn't fighting back as much. "I swear if he doesn't leave this house forever, I'll kill him!" he spoke between his teeth and watched Felix. 

"Listen to yourself, Minho. " Chan turned him around and pinned him against the floor. "You are acting out of affect. Just calm down for a second and look at me."

The ginger's head refused to turn towards Chan. He was staring at Felix with so much hate that Felix thought he was about to die. His actions were something he had never seen in horror movies, but it frightened him, not just because it was scary, but also because it was real. 

Suddenly, all he could see was that the ginger boy was crying. Everything around him was slowed except for Minho. He wasn't fighting anymore - he just lied on the floor, no expression, no blinking, barely breathing. He truly looked like he had just gotten killed by the person whom he loved the most. And it looked excruciating to the extent where Felix would've run out to him and let him stab as much as his heart desired. 

"Sorry," Felix muttered and crouched down to the floor, tears escaping his eyes as well. 

He didn't see the moment Changbin got in and snagged Minho out of Chan's hands and forcefully dragged him out. He didn't see anything to be honest, he was crying so much his vision got extremely blurry and his eyes hurt as hell. Maybe he should go home after all. And maybe he should never come back. 

"Don't you dare," Chan slowly crawled to him. "Don't you dare doubt yourself after this, Lixie. His rage got the best of him, that's it. Don't think about it and move on like it never happened." 

He finally raised his head to look at his boss properly. "I can't do that, Chan..." 

"Just don't be scared," Chan held his face in his two hands that had smudges of dye on them. It looked like blood and it sure felt like it. 

"How? This is worse than witnessing a murder," Felix cried like no one was looking. "W-Why did he get so angry just from seeing us together, Chan? Is there something wrong with m-me?" 

No answer escaped Chan's lips. His eyes watched Felix's shining obsidian pearls covered with a sheen of new-coming tears. Then, his arms circled Felix and held him close to his body heat in order to calm him down. Gladly, it helped. 

"No, baby. That's what I'm afraid of." 

Felix's head jabbed up to look at him again, but the older man wasn't looking back. 

Before the younger could ask any more questions, Chan stood up and briefly walked to the sink where he left the remaining dyeing solution. He sluggishly mixed the oxidized dyeing solution. 

"Come," he barely talked. "Let's finish." 

...

He woke up in cold sweat in Chan's bed. Surprisingly, he wasn't sharing it with anybody, and maybe that was the worst part. 

After finishing the dyeing process, Felix washed up. Chan was nowhere to be seen. Hence, Felix fell asleep on his bed yet again with wet hair. He didn't know where the hair dryer was, but he was too exhausted to commit to it anyways. It's just a brain inflammation, how bad could it be? 

His mom had always admonished him to dry his hair before bed, no matter whether it was summer or winter. Of course, he listened, though he thought he was wasting for more time trying to prepare for blow drying his hair rather than actually drying it. It was a tedious process, but he coped with it. 

The nausea is what woke him up. The same of twist in his guts when he was peacefully dreaming ruined everything. He didn't want to get out of the day, maybe not ever. Though, he would have to clean the disgusting vomit if he didn't get up now. 

It twisted and twisted, got all the way to his tired throat. He thought he couldn't make it, but then he reached out for the toilet bowl and let out all of the anxiety from his body. At first it felt like long-awaited release, but then it got revolting. He couldn't stop feeling sick. 

"Oh," he heard a familiar voice at the door frame, however he couldn't bother to look and make an immense mess. "How long have you been here?" 

"Dunno," Felix hiccupped between gags. "What time is it?" 

"Two in the morning," he recognized the voice after calming down a little. 

His head turned to the side when his breathing evened and saw Changbin leaning his side to the doorframe. "Do you need something? You don't look good." 

"Tell-" he hiccupped again. "Tell me something I don't know." 

Changbin was kind enough to help him stand up, but he didn't bother to hold him up even though Felix could've definitely used some support. He looked in the mirror when he finished drinking water from the sink. His cheeks looked like he was sucking in, his dark brown hair was a disheveled mess and his eyelids were puffy. At first, he thought the dye was red, but that was just the undertone shine. He found himself looking like someone else. 

Changbin watched from afar. "Chan's not home. He told me to take care of you. Are you sure you don't need anything?" 

Actually, Felix needed many things, yet Changbin couldn't assist him in getting any of them. He wished for a calmer atmosphere where he didn't have to worry about getting stabbed by Minho or Chan. He wished for a healthier self, but that was far delusional. He wished for Minnie, at last. It's been so long since he had emerged into his warm embrace in their small beds and slept peacefully like Minnie was the strongest person on Earth. 

"No," he responded briefly and slowly trailed himself to bed again. 

Changbin followed him and handed out a key before leaving. "It's for this door just in case something gets into Minho's head again," he closed the door behind himself, but opened it again. "You can go home if you want. Chan said so." 

Then he was finally gone. Felix couldn't stop thinking about Changbin's necklace that he just saw. Although it wasn't the first time he had seen it, it finally dawned on him why he was wearing it. His amulet wasn't a star, in fact it didn't have anything but the thin golden string. It must've been a gift from Chan when they were younger, but he didn't know from what occasion. Minho didn't have the necklace nor did Han. So, he couldn't help but think what had got into Chan's perplexed mind to gift him something with such meaning, trust and beauty. He didn't deserve it. 

It took Changbin years of work and trust to gain such a thing, and for Felix? It took him two weeks, a bit of card reading and dying. Frankly not enough for a golden necklace from Mr. Bang himself. 

The new brunette packed his things into a small backpack. He made sure to get the phone, the cards, and the orders. Before falling asleep for the first time Chan mentioned some orders that he wanted Felix to deliver. The brunette found the list of customers, addresses and destined times that he was supposed to meet them. He just had to head home to change into something more casual and careless now that his wardrobe was becoming just a home for black and grey clothes. 

...

For the first time in his life, he was scared to enter his own flat. Minnie was now probably asleep in their room, so Felix grabbed the keys and silently opened the door. He should hide the bag before Seungmin gets go ask him what it is. 

Quietly, he peeked into their room and saw his best friend sleeping peacefully among dozens of blankets since it was actually starting to get cold. He wished he could lie next to him right now, but instead of doing so, he hopped into the shower again to freshen himself up. The backpack and the necklace were with him. Although the shower was rather cold, he couldn't get used to seeing a faint shade of brown washing away when he wet his hair. It certainly was something he'd have to get used to in near future, and Seungmin too. 

Right as his foot stood out of the shower, he heard a knock on his door. 

"Lix, is that you?" Seungmin's voice was tired and drunk-sounding. 

"Yeah, I just got home..." 

"I need to pee really badly. Can I come in?" 

Felix looked at the backpack leaned onto the wall and started slightly panicking. "Y-Yeah, just give me a moment." 

Certainly, there were no places for his backpack to be hidden at except for their laundry basket and washing machine. The basket was full of unwashed clothes, hence he quickly shoved the backpack into the machine and closed it with a loud pang. 

"You can wash the clothes later. I really need to go," Seungmin wined at the other side of the door. 

Felix quickly opened it and let him in. Minnie was too drowsy to notice his hair right away, but he sensed that something was different. "You don't look like yourself, Lix," he claimed as he closed the door. 

"Why?" he asked, partly forgetting he actually wasn't a blonde anymore. 

"I don't know, I'm tired." 

Pacing through the room, Felix patiently waited for his friend to finish so he could come back in and dress in something other than a towel. As tiredness filled his body, he leaned against a cold wall. No, he wasn't tired, he was just emotionally exhausted by everything that happened in the past two weeks. He thought college was playing with his nerves, but Chan for sure proved that he was a master violinist at doing so. 

His legs started giving up while he was leaned against it, hands circled around his torso to prevent the warmth from going away. 

"Lix?" 

He quickly straightened his posture. "Yeah?" 

There was a slight pause before Seungmin spoke again. "Where'd you get this?" he opened the door; Felix's golden necklace was swinging from his hand. 

Shit. 

"Oh... I got it for myself," Felix scratched his head. 

"A golden necklace?" he narrowed his eyes. "Why spend your own money? You could've asked me." 

Felix gave him a fake pout. "I didn't want to be a burden." 

"How much did you spend?" 

God, he had no idea of how much gold costed for he never possessed gold in his life. The most expensive piece of jewelry he had were silver earring and that was it. "Around 500,000W."

Seungmin brought the thin chain closer to his face, examining the design as well as the Swarovski crystal star attached to it. He had a confused expression across his face as his fingers moved between the gold. Then, he looked at Felix and narrowed his eyes again at him and tilting his head.

"You colored your hair?" he asked in disbelief.

Felix didn't know how to get himself out of this shit-hole. "Yeah, I couldn't take care of it anymore."

"But why didn't you tell me beforehand?"

"I-" Felix was getting out of excuses. "I thought you'd react badly to my idea."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

Seungmin gave him the necklace back and finally got out of the doorway. "Why are you acting so weird lately?"

"I'm not, I just..." he exhaled distinctly. "I don't know, Minnie. I'm just stressed. This new job is a whole another obligation and I have barely enough time for myself." 

Seungmin just stood there, inches away from him and refused to say an additional word. His face was curved in a sad pout and his head was slightly knocked down, staring at the floor. Felix's body shivered to the sharp chill in their flat, but he rushed nowhere - the drugs were supposed to be delivered in the morning, anyways. He bowed his head as well, but was soon brought up by Seungmin's tender pat on the shoulder. 

"Remember the 'Strength' card?" he gave him a hopeful smile. "No one can beat you if you refuse to give up. Stay high and expect the best... Because that's what you deserve, Lix." 

In mere seconds, Felix felt at relief. But a guilty relief. His best friend was always there for him - snuggling him to sleep, wiping his tears away, giving him soft and honest giggles... And he was there, lying to his face because... Because of what? Was he scared that Minnie would leave him if he had told him about Chan and his gang although he promised to never leave his side? Most definitely. 

So, he sucked his pitiful pride and smiled back. "Thank you, Minnie." 

"Anytime," he passed by and headed towards their room. "You can sleep with me if you want to after you get ready." He closed the door, but opened it right after. "And, Lix?" 

"Yeah?" 

He giggled softly. "You aren't looking bad as a brunette. Reminds me of when I met you for the first time." 

...

The movements Felix had to perform to escape Seungmin's embrace were extraordinarily hard. It was extremely hard to stay still because he couldn't sleep and not wake his friend up.

That night was one of the most painful nights he's ever lived through. Although Minnie was peacefully asleep just centimeters away from his face, Felix couldn't look at it. Actually, he didn't dare to look at his honest and caring eyes. They say that eyes are the mirror of the soul, and Felix didn't want Minnie to witnesses what he had become at any cost. He wanted Minnie to stay like that, maybe frozen in time, maybe next to him, maybe somewhere far and jubilant... Maybe in some other world where their souls remained attached - without Chan. Because he was ashamed of the type of liar, he saw staring back at him in the mirror. And he didn't want to see himself just in case Minnie's shiny eyes opened and showed him a dim reflection of himself. 

It was impossible to count the times he wished to wake him up and let everything out that night. He was scared to hug him like before for he felt so distant and alone. His eyes were hurting. 

But Felix managed to cope with it yet again. He had seen dead people, witnessed death, even experienced it. And yet, he still felt like guilt and shame were the hardest of them all. When he saw Chan kill that man, he had bad dreams - chronic nightmares. But when he felt ashamed of himself, he couldn't close his eyes and rest. 

Briefly, he headed for the backpack that was still in the washing machine, put his necklace back on and dressed up in a black hoodie. Frankly, he didn't dare to look himself in the mirror, but just put the hood over half of his glossy eyes and get out. 

Streets were still crowded although it was 6 am. People were walking like headless flies, going to work with exhausted expression on their faces. Felix blended perfectly into the crowd which was his job after all. 

The first order was in just 5 minutes, somewhere on the streets. He was supposed to pull the man away from the crowd, exchange and head back into it like nothing happened. When he saw that it was actually a woman when she pulled Felix out of the crowd, he was pleasantly surprised. 

"Bang's?" she whispered briefly. Her hair was perfectly curled and her makeup was well-done. 

"Yes," Felix pulled out the envelope and hastily exchanged it with hers. He nodded and got back into the walking crowd like nothing.

The second one was in 15 minutes in front of a high management building in Seoul. The man was a bit older - around his 50s if Felix had to guess. He looked busy, eyebags almost dropping to the floor of how exhausted he looked. 

Felix came to him and nodded to initiate that it was him who was dealing. The man recognized it immediately and handed him an envelope as soon as possible. No words left their mouths prior to both of them leaving for their own ways. 

The job seemed unexpectedly easy for Felix. He didn't have to talk to keep the comfortable atmosphere - everything felt rather familiar to him. If his younger self met his current self, he wouldn't have believed his black eyes. No one would, actually. 

His shift passed in an instant and he was now heading towards his last order. It was supposed to be in front of his old work place - in front of Chevalier Club. He was afraid that someone would recognize him, hence he bought a black face mask to cover his facial features in order to save his identity. 

When he finally reached the club, he saw no one except for his old colleagues talking in a circle like always. He turned his back to them and waited patiently for the buyer to arrive. However, minutes passed by and the buyer didn't seem to be getting any closer to him. 

Or that was only until he saw a pair of familiar eyes examining him from the bottom to the top. 

Hojun. 

Panic filled Felix's body when their eyes met because he was afraid the man would recognize him. He kept his head down and refused to look up. 

A pat or two met his shoulder when the man approached him. "Quick," Hojun whispered and offered him his part of the deal. 

Accidentally, Felix raised his head and instinctively looked him in the eyes when exchanging. He quickly lowered it back and turned around, but he was pulled back to his place sharply. 

"Felix?" the man asked doubtfully. "Is that you?" 

Felix shook himself out of his grip and hurried back to his boss before he revealed any more information that could either get himself into jail or killed. It was now a matter of his colleague Hojun's will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna chat I'm on Twitter as @zivkovicdanica_ ^^


	15. Chan

Although the atmosphere was never as stressful as now, Chan's days were easy. He didn't have any problems waking up, he wasn't vomiting every morning, he wasn't having anxiety attacks, he wasn't crying, he wasn't caring. At all.

Things were wrapped around his pinky finger - Minho was silent and far away From Felix, and Felix was working far away from Minho. He refused to put them in same rooms during meals. One day he'd have breakfast with Minho and the other he'd share it with Felix. One day he'd sleep with Minho and the other he'd cuddle with Felix. The only problem was that Felix was getting way more out of Chan than Minho. And the worst part about it is that Minho knew exactly why. 

Actually, Chan was sure that he should've put Minho as his secret assassin when he started witnessing strange events these past few days. He started locking Felix into his room during night time not long ago. He also found strange scratches on the door in the morning when he went out to briefly unlock it. Long singular cuts spread across the frame ruined his perfect interior. And even Chan found it strange. 

However, everything started making sense when he saw Minho placing something in his drawer like it was the priciest diamond in the world. Little did he know that he'd find the same old pocket knife he had given him a long time ago to protect himself. And the worst part about his relevance was that its edge was dull and scratched - like Minho had been dragging it against a door, like he had been wanting to stab Felix to sleep. 

That particular event made Chan uneasy to the point where he made sure Minho was always in his sight, always doing what he was supposed to, always listening to Chan. It slightly hurt to see him struggling on every day basis, trying to pack various dosages of drugs but being unable to. It sucked. 

Regardless, Chan was pleasantly surprised when he acknowledged the fact that Felix could do the dealing job perfectly well. He didn't even know why he doubted the boy when he was very much able to function properly and work. If anything, he was pretty brief and hasty when it came to dealing and he didn't procrastinate, which was also one of the biggest virtuous when it came to dealing. Truly, Felix was a gem. A precious gem that everyone doubted and mistreated. A bird whose wings were ripped out of feathers. 

Patiently, Chan waited for Changbin, Jeongin and Mr. Hwang's son at the table. It was his and Hyunjin's first face-to-face encounter and he was frankly thrilled about it. Hwangs possessed an immense amount of money and information which Chan needed dearly. He needed money to invest and information to invest properly. 

Changbin was out on his way to bring them here and make sure they arrive untouched. He had also prepared documents for their plan and cooperation. Speaking of which, Chan had to rethink such a brutal and important idea that he started doubting it at one point. But at the end of the day, Kim had to go. For Soya's sake. 

Light tapping of his pen against the kitchen table echoed through the empty room. He would've continued doing so if he hadn't noticed the cut on their table cloth. Chan swore Minho could ruin all of their expensive furniture if Felix stayed at their place more often. 

Soon, he heard six short beeping sounds from his security system. 

'251098' played in his head like a song. 

Chan needed numbers that he could remember effortlessly, thus he decided to put Minho's birthday as their alarm system passcode. Nobody knew things about Minho. Even his name was a mystery to some, let alone his character and biography. He grew up in the gangs, no family, no property, no hope, no freedom. All he had was his own poor self and his smart and caring mind. Hence, Chan decided to make him feel wanted when he joined them and put his birthday as their home password so everyone had to remember it. Surely, it made him feel wanted and appreciated. 

Three pairs of footsteps were heard when the door opened - Changbin first, behind him was Hwang and the last one in row was Jeongin. Chan could sense that all of them were rather calm for their first encounter. Actually, Jeongin’s steps had this weird pressure to them that mirrored excitement – it was forced on the ground, but very easy and brief when it hung in the air.

When he first saw Hyunjin, Chan deemed him exactly as he had previously assumed. Hyunjin had shoulder-length blonde hair - straight of course, a perfectly ironed new suit that smelled expensive and his head was oddly angled up. Almost like he was looking at them from ahigh.

Frankly, he was a snob to Chan’s eyes. Someone who always had what he wished for, someone who had a planned and bright future and all of that along with a perfect family and perfectly healthy relationships. Unlike him, Chan had to build an empire from scratch that was left when he ruined everything and put his blood and sweat into raising it and making it unbreakable once again.

“Greetings Mr. Hwang,” Chan stood up and approached the taller blonde, offering him a hand to shake.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Bang,” Hyunjin responded with a smile as he shook Chan’s hand.

“Take a seat please.”

Hyunjin calmly pulled the chair (that was probably the first and the last time he had to do so) and waited for the other two to take their own seats. Changbin and Jeongin sat opposing to one another, next to Chan and Hyunjin and waited for one of them to start the conversation.

“Well, Mr. Hwang,” Chan readjusted in his seat, “I’d like to ask you how have you been before we begin with work.”

Hyunjin tilted his head and narrowed his eyes slightly. “Perfectly well, Mr. Bang. I’d like to ask you the same.”

“Thrilled,” Chan confirmed instantly. “I’m very thrilled for our future work.”

“Then, I guess we shall begin.”

Chan offered his left hand to Jeongin and the younger one instantly pulled out a stack of papers, all clipped to one another. To be completely honest, Chan barely had any idea what they were supposed to represent, but he still quickly went over them.

“I believe that you are well acquaintanced with our work, Mr. Hwang?” Jeongin tilted his head and smiled warmly.

Hyunjin chuckled softly. "I have heard a bit about your work, but not enough to speak confidently about it," he straightened his posture and gave Chan a stare, initiating that he starts explaining.

Chan leaned back into the chair and watched the blonde man in front of him with amusement. Frankly, he just wanted to see how much Hyunjin could take before realizing that he was nothing and no one before Chan. He wanted to show him that he was the one who spoke, the one who ordered, the one who led, the one who stopped and the one who ended. All one name - Bang Chan.

"We take illegal actions, Mr. Hwang," Jeongin spoke after he saw a smirk spread on his boss' lips. "Mostly drug dealing," he added.

"I heard that you sell organs, too?"

Jeongin smiled and looked at Chan. The younger advocate knew how to read Chan's wishes by the simplest of things - smiling, blinking, readjusting posture. Through the corners of his eyes, he saw his boss' head fall slightly to the right.

"We do," he confirmed. "But not so often."

From that moment, the room was filled with nothing but silence. All four of them refused to look up or take any drastic actions. Chan let it kill. Or, perhaps, Hyunjin let it sink in.

"Perfect," the blonde smiled lightly and leaned back to his chair as well.

Everyone in the room took his reaction by surprise, everyone but Chan. He was the only one smiling back at the young businessman, thrilled for what was going to be said next.

"My mother needs a kidney donor for her next operation. I was thinking-"

"If you accept my offer," Chan jumped in. "I'll find your mother two new kidneys. What do you say, Mr. Hwang?"

"I say," Hyunjin leaned in and finally gave him a wide, confirmation grin. "That you are unbelievably easy to cooperate with, Mr. Bang."

Chan leaned in as well, returning the grin. "I'd say the same for you, Mr. Hwang. Send Jeongin her medical documents and he’s gonna make sure she receives the best quality treatment.”

Hand hovering over the blank papers, Chan began writing onto it with unreadable letters. He passed the paper to Changbin on his right and got back to looking at Hyunjin.

“Regarding our plan, we need your help with gathering the information about certain locations in Seoul,” Chan began calmly. “To be precise, we need your men to disable the cameras at Baem Casino.”

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows. “All of them?”

Chan nodded in confirmation. “And keep them down for an hour or so and don’t involve too many hackers.”

“How many do you recommend?”

“Three if possible, but two could be just enough for this.”

Hyunjin nodded and took the paper Changbin was offering him. It had a date written on it, an exact time and a location. He memorized it briefly and put it into his suit pocket.

“Mr. Bang,” Hyunjin asked after a few silent seconds. “What exactly are you planning to do at the Casino?”

Chan watched him again, quietly. He wanted to let the silence speak its way into the blonde’s ears. Who was he to ask such personal questions, especially the ones that weren’t a part of his plan?

Frankly, Hyunjin would’ve denied their cooperation if he found out what Chan was about to do in just a week. He would’ve died in burden either way to be honest, unless he was some sort of a sociopath as well. There was no possible way Hwang found out about the plan for Changbin and Jeongin were the only ones who were introduced to it. Changbin knew about the draft plan, whereas Jeongin had to know every detail to contact the best people for it in order for it to succeed. 

“If you ask me,” Chan nonchalantly raised his eyebrows and curved his mouth. “I believe that this isn’t your business.”

“Well, I’d like to know how my money gets spent, Bang. Besides, the situation with my mother is currently too critical to play games,” Hyunjin claimed and gave him a trustful look. “We could cooperate once more after this if it turns out well.”

Jeongin and Chan shared a couple of glances. Both of them saw the same point from the blonde’s words – he was expressing his vulnerability when mentioning his mother and, therefore, mirroring trust and loyalty for this particular situation. Empathy is something people search for when they need help. It’s in human nature to express their wounded sides when they need somebody to assist them. 

Particularly, Jeongin was the master of seeking empathy in people when their gang was in a shitty situation. Chan couldn’t bring his ego so low to ask for it, honestly. He preferred punching and breaking bones instead.

“Mr. Hwang,” Jeongin tilted his head and smiled lightly. “How good are you with tolerating blood?”

“Oh,” Hyunjin muttered, then briefly nodded. “How many people?”

“Everyone in the Casino,” Chan replied instantly. “Beam Casino is founded by Kim and his father. It’s mostly filled with his people and we heard that even he spends most of his time there. Therefore, Jeongin and I deem that striking at it could give us a huge lead in this gang war.”

Hyunjin listened carefully and kept nodding. All three of them thought that the blonde business mas was either 100% on their side or just a very impressive actor with a couple of tricks under his sleeve.

“How good are you with money?” he asked helpfully.

“Decent,” Jeongin said. “We currently don’t need your financial support, Mr. Hwang.”

“Alright, then I think this is where we seal the deal, Mr. Bang.”

Chan grinned, stood up and offered him a hand. They shook them steadily and Hyunjin was out of the house with Changbin behind him. He heard the beeping sounds when Changbin was entering the code once again. 

‘251098’.

Then they left and the house was all for Jeongin and Chan again. The two of them let the tension fade away within those 5 minutes of silence. It felt good to seal the deal so easily, yet so firmly. No wonder he’s a businessman and an heir of one of the largest software engineering companies in South Korea.

“Well, that was pretty easy,” Jeongin broke the silence and got Chan’s full attention. “I expected him to be more stubborn and… snobby?”

“Oh, he is,” Chan smiled to him. “Did you see the way his shoulders froze when he sat down?”

“Yeah, I picked that up,” Jeongin nodded his head drastically. “And the way his foot swung left and right under the table when you spoke.”

“How’d you see his foot?” Chan frowned in confusement.

“I didn’t,” he peeked a smile. “Our feet were so close that I felt the air brush against my leg every time you looked at him.”

“Good interpretation, Jeongin. What else did you see?”

The younger leaned his head back like he was trying to recall everything that happened in the past few hours or so. “Actually, yes.”

“What?”

“When we entered the house, his nose twitched oddly. Like he could smell something.”

“Every house smells different. Maybe he’s too used to his glamourous villa?” Chan chuckled tauntingly.

“No, sir,” Jeongin denied. “I could smell it too. It was so faint that I couldn’t tell whether it was bleach or hydrogen peroxide.”

Jeongin didn’t get a confirmation of his assumption. Instead, he saw Chan looking at him from the corner of his eyes, smiling weirdly, pupils slightly constricted. Unexpectedly, Jeongin started giggling when a certain thought passed through his mind, equal creepiness to Chan’s smiles.

“Was it both?”

Chan bit his lip and let his head completely fall to the side, like he was high on drugs. “Perhaps.”

“That Kim’s man?”

“Perhaps,” he giggled as well now.

“Does Felix know?”

“Oh,” Chan chuckled to himself. “He got the front-row seat.”

“Cute,” Jeongin stood up and headed towards the front door. “But maybe you should open the windows to let the odor out of the house, sir.”

…

Chan's head was pounding tonight. He couldn't pick up his thoughts for the sake of finishing next week's dealing plans. But he also didn't want to take meds at 11 pm just in case he goes to bed early today.

If he wasn't in so much of a shit, he would've called Minho do distract his thoughts and kiss it better, but right now he didn't dare to speak his name. Instead, he wished for Felix to be close to him - maybe hug him or kiss him to sleep? Or just stay next to him. That would do the job as well.

'Are you sleeping?'

Chan texted him briefly and put the phone down to continue looking at the goddamn papers.

'No, sir.'

'Can you come tonight?'

He kept slamming the phone back to the table like guilt was eating him up for messaging Felix this late.

'Of course. Is everything alright?'

'Yes. I just need some company.'

'I'm on my way.'

His eyes were stuck to that particular message for a long time. Chan was sorry for torturing the poor boy's soul for his own feelings (or whatever was left from them). His thumbs were shaking drastically, like he wanted to tell him not to come, but he didn't send anything. He really wished to see his eyes again.

In little but no time, Chan's head turned towards the closed door when he heard the code being put in. Felix finally learned to do it in one go.

After a couple of timid knocks on his door, Chan told him to come in. His body was already turned to him, eyes longingly piercing through the thick wood, skin tingling just slightly. He was very excited.  
"Hi?" Felix peeked shyly into his room and Chan immediately smiled.

"Hi," god he looked pretty. "Come in."

Felix silently closed the door and leaned against it like he was hiding something behind his back.

"You look tired, Chan," he pouted. "Why don't you rest?"

"Mmm..." Chan didn't want to rest. He wanted to be with Felix. "I'm restless."

"Oh," Felix whispered. "Do you need help with anything?"

He did. He needed someone to kill his loneliness.

When Chan was younger, he used to tell Changbin to always stay with him and save him from loneliness. At first, Changbin wondered why, but soon he found out how dangerous it can get. The two of them usually became one with silence, letting it soak their minds and kill. It was frankly addicting to feel peace for just once in their lives.

It felt so peaceful not to be bothered by anyone else.

"Come," Chan tapped his lap a couple of times and waited for the younger boy to approach him. He did so with little but no hesitation, circling his arm around Chan's wide shoulders and holding his breath. That was when Chan realized he was holding his own breath as well. 

"Did you meet Mr. Hwang?" 

"Mhmm," Chan muttered. "He's just another picky snob with money to swim in." 

"I bet he is," Felix giggled and looked away. "I also bet he's always had everything he wanted," his voice wasn't so jubilant anymore. Actually, it sounded depressing.

Chan leaned his head against Felix, ear pressed against his chest so he could get the tiniest sense of how his heart sounded. Chan tried to count his heartbeats, but he got lost at around 10.

“Is there anything you want?” he looked up at Felix curiously and smiled.

The younger boy smiled back at his beautiful black eyes. “No, I’ve already got everything I want.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” his eyes darkened as he looked away and extinguished the smile.

Something was wrong with the boy – Chan saw it ever since he spoke to him for the first time in that taxi. He was so shy and scared. Chan noticed his eyes get heavy when he spoke and his breathing was uneven ever since. At first, he thought the boy had PTSD, however a series of events throughout their relationship led him to conclusion that he had chronic anxiety. No psychiatrists were needed for his diagnosis – it was crystal clear.

That revelation woke up a softer side to him. A side that wanted to know what the boy was going through, what he was feeling, how his chest seized from fear, how his lungs tightened when he got excited, how his heart jumped when he saw him, how his eyes teared when he was falling asleep. Felix was such a gorgeous soul stuck and limited by his goddamn fears.

“Well, then,” Chan caressed his freckled cheek that he loved so dearly. “Do you wanna go for a ride with me?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, right now.”

Felix smiled and nodded.

Movements as silent as the night, the two of them snuck their way to Chan’s car and got inside as soon as possible. Chan noticed how Felix kept looking backwards and searching for Minho while he walked. He was probably aware of the scratches on his door and, thus, afraid that Minho would come and stab him any second. Speaking of which, Chan was sure Minho would’ve stabbed Felix like an animal if he was able to. But for now, the ginger was stuck in the lab for another 4 hours.

The ride was obnoxiously peaceful, so quiet that the only audible thing was the car engine and the swaying leaves outside their little pleasant zone. No buildings circled them anymore, there were only trees and fresh, cold air among them. Even the colors outside looked divine – everything was covered with a shade of navy blue, even Felix’s pristine skin. For a moment, the younger boy looked out of this world, unreachable. Like a star.

Chan was so used to listening to every sound and noticing every move people made, therefore he was aware of how Felix felt throughout the whole ride. He kept glancing at him every time he took a longer or sharper intake of breath, questioning what was wrong and then reminding himself that that was just the way the boy breathed. It was hard looking at the road instead of his pretty face.

"I'm taking you somewhere I used to daydream with Changbin when we were younger," Chan sang happily.

"How'd you go there? We are already far from the city."

"During summer, when it wasn't so cold at night, we would go there by the motorbike for two days and bring sleeping bags along with some food and other tools," Chan saw the sign that said they were getting close to Yongin. "We'd spend the night there, watching the clear summer sky, then we'd wake up fresh, relax some more, eat, talk..."

"That sounds like therapy," Felix hummed. "Are we gonna spend the night there too?"

Chan scowled. "I'm sorry, baby, but it's the beginning of winter. We'd freeze to death if the fire gets extinguished," he finally parked the car somewhere not-so-far from the main road. "I promise I'll take you here during summer and we can stay as much as you want."

That last sentence made Felix's eyes glow. Chan thought he'd die trying to resist his wonderful lips covered with a sheen of moonlight.

Soon, they were out of the car. The scenery looked majestic with fallen leaves, like it was straight out of the movie. The small valley was hidden under a thin coat of bronze and yellow leaves from the only tree that was decorating it. It was a giant chestnut tree that was probably older than Chan's whole gang all combined together.

Nostalgia started kicking in when Felix whispered. "It that it?" he was impressed.

"Yeah, do you like it?"

He grinned like a kid before Christmas. "It looks magical."

"I know," he started moving forward. "Follow me."

Felix tugged his hand under Chan’s jacket and towed behind him like a lost child. 

"This," Chan began joyfully. "This is where we slept at night."

Although it had already been a few years since Changbin and Chan last came here for a camping trip, the ground was still free of grass on certain places. Felix assumed they spent a lot of time here while they were younger, and he was completely right.

"Can we sit here?" Felix gave him a hopeful smile and raised his eyebrows.

However, Chan was taken aback by his question and, therefore, he didn't answer right away. All of the beautiful memories he made here when he was younger lingered through his head in an instant. And in that instant, he wished Felix was there as well, smiling while rolling on the grass. He would've fallen in love with him instead of Minho.

"Of course," he finally smiled and sat down, back pressed against the tree. He patted the ground next to him, initiating that Felix sits.

"Seungmin and I used to go out every other night and watch stars when we were in high school. It's kind of similar to this," Felix hummed as he sat next to Chan. Their arms were barely touching, though it would've been better for them to get as close as possible because of the cold.

"You prefer peaceful things like this over parties, yes?"

Felix replied instantly. "I do. It's far more memorable and precious."

"Yeah, I agree."

"Wait, I have an important question," Felix jumped in excitement, placing a hand onto Chan's shoulders subconsciously. "Cats or dogs?" 

Chan pretended to think for a while. "Dogs," he narrowed his eyes like he was unsure. "But I wouldn't have either of them." 

"Why?" 

"Lix," Chan chuckled jokingly. "I can't even take care of people around me, let alone some tiny animal." 

Felix noticed his mood get drastically different, like Chan was feeling guilty for admitting so. Unexpectedly, he felt a hand grab onto his own and squeeze tightly. Then, he found Felix's shining eyes and immediately felt better from their energy. 

"Well, I prefer cats," Felix giggled and Chan unintentionally mirrored his act. 

"What about dates? In or out?" 

"Hmm," now Felix was the one to take time by thinking. "In. What about you?" 

"I wouldn't mind as long as it's with you," he jabbed his shoulder playfully. 

"I wanna change my answer," Felix laughed. 

"Nope, you only get to answer once." 

"Okay, day or night?" 

"Night," Chan responded immediately. 

"Day for me. Movies or books?" 

"Neither," the older scoffed. 

"Both for me. Mountains or beach?" 

Chan shook his head and looked at Felix. "Again, if it's with you, we can go to the junkyard and I wouldn't mind." 

"But if you were to go alone...?"

"I wouldn't," Chan sighed. 

"Why? It's even more peaceful if you go by yourself-"

"No!" Chan's voice raised. 

Suddenly, Felix's expression changed from excited to anxious back again. Chan could hear his breath hitch and get stuck into his throat from the tension. Guilt burdened him as soon as he saw his lip quiver just a tad bit. 

This is what Chan was afraid would happen. He'd let his emotions and fear get the best of him and hurt others around just because he couldn't control his tone sometimes. Frankly, he was afraid of showing his real self to Felix. Without a proper explanation, he wasn't sure why it was only Felix he was fearing to get loose with. Maybe because he's grown to deem himself as a monster that ruins everybody. And Felix doesn't deserve to be ruined, same as his other beloved ones.

Chan touched Felix's cold cheek, searching for forgiveness while his thumb caressed his skin. The younger boy smiled and looked away into the rest of the valley. He let Chan's fingers go through his newly colored hair and clear skin as his eyes got lost somewhere far away. After a short while, Chan dared to ask a question so self-conscious.

“Do you ever regret meeting me?”

Felix’s lips were parted and his eyes were reflecting concern. With all of the money Chan had earned throughout these years, he’d give it all just to hear what was going through Felix’s head at this very moment. Even if the words hurt like hell, he’d give everything to know he’s hearing the truth and his true emotions.

“Actually,” Felix said, words barely above a whisper. “I do and I don’t at the same time.”

Chan stopped caressing him and put his arm down, disappointment filling his head. Maybe he didn’t want to know the truth after all.

“I hate how guilty I feel when I’m with you. And how you come to me, then leave for Minho, then come to me again every time,” Chan listened carefully to his words. “And when you act like you don’t care about emotions, but you seek love and appreciation so carefully. It’s contradicting.”

Chan let the cold wind hit both of them. He watched Felix’s dark eyes and saw himself in their reflection. Suddenly, they didn’t look so precious anymore.

“I hate myself too, darling,” Chan threw his head backwards and smiled softly. “It became a habit.”

“It hurts to see you struggle, Chan. It really does.”

“Struggle is all you’ll do when you live a life like this. There’s no happiness at the end of the day, just temporary satisfaction. And if I cared about whom I’ve hurt, you wouldn’t have met any of us. We’d all be dead,” Chan pressed his lips into a thin line.

“That’s the thing I like about you. You have a hard time bonding to people, but when you do, you don’t let go at any cost.”

Chan hummed, “Yeah, I guess that’s kinda right.”

“Would you let go of me?” Chan found his eyes again and, oh god, how could he resist that gorgeous face of his?

“Never.”

“Promise me.”

Chan offered his pinky finger to the younger boy. “I promise I’ll always be there no matter the situation.”

Felix giggled and leaned towards Chan’s face. “Then, I promise that I’ll stay by your side until you break your promise.”

Chan shook his hand lightly and let go of his pinky finger. Intuitively, his head moved closer to Felix’s and he finally met his lips in a sweet, but short kiss. His heart wanted more of Felix’s heat, more of his pecks and touches, but his head was saying it wasn’t the right time for that. Apart from that, his nose was starting to run from how cold it has gotten.

“Come on,” Chan pulled away. “We should get going. I’ll drop you off.”

He took a couple of steps by himself. When Felix’s steps behind him couldn’t be heard, Chan turned around to see why he wasn’t moving. 

The younger boy was looking up at him, eyes glowing and lips partly pouted. His arms circled his legs, hence he looked like a small cinnamon roll Chan really liked eating when he was younger during middle school.

He came back to Felix and crouched next to him. “What’s wrong, baby?”

The younger buried his head into his own embrace. 

“Did something happen?” Chan asked in a concerned manner.

Felix nodded and looked up. “I was doing my weekly read and got some pretty bad cards.”

“What did they say?”

“So,” Felix hesitated a little. “I wanted to know what’s our relationship like and I drew this.” His small hands went into his pockets and searched for something. Briefly, he pulled out a card and showed it to Chan.

‘The Lovers’, Chan read the bottom text. He thought the card looked pretty with a man and a woman standing next to each other. He thought those were just the ordinary people, but then he saw a snake in the background of the card, climbing onto the tree. Thus, he was sure those two were Adam and Eve on the card.

“What does it mean?” Chan turned it around and tilted his head.

“Good relationship and falling in love.”

“Oh, Lixie,” Chan sighed uneasily. “We can’t- we can’t be in a relationship. Not right now-“

“No, no, it’s okay. I wasn’t asking,” he shook his head, hoping for his words not to be taken by mistake. “Then, I asked what’s out future going to look like and…” Felix pulled out another card. “This is what I got.”

Chan took the card and watched it from up-close. He watched the skeletal figure in armor and its horse going over and stomping people in agony. Then, his eyes moved to the text on the bottom and he refused to say it out loud.

‘Death.’

“Stay close to me these next few days,” Felix directed.

“Am I gonna die?” Chan asked nervously.

“I don’t know.”

“Is there a way to know? Flip a coin.”

“Chan,” Felix grabbed his arm harshly. “Don’t freak out. It could mean our love is going to die over time or that we’ll bring death to others with our partnership.”

Chan watched him in hope. He stopped overreacting when Felix took a hold of him and stood up again, bringing Felix along the way.

“We are going over to your flat to pick your stuff and you’re coming home with me, do you understand?” Chan dragged him to the car.

“Yes, sir.”

Throughout the whole ride, Chan was going way faster than he should’ve. His turns were sharp and reckless, when he pressed the brake it was sudden and impactful. Maybe the card was telling them they’d die in a car crash instead of a romantic way. Either way, Felix was scared for both their lives.

If they were to crash and Felix was to wake up, but Chan was found dead, there’d be no possible way to bring Chan back. Felix could only wake up from the last time he becomes conscious and that was certainly not before the crash.

He realized it was better to die with him, than to live without him. That way he could prevent Chan from killing both of them.

However, crashing was not today’s case, although it sounded realistic in this scenario. Felix and Chan opened the door in the same time and got out. Chan was supposed to wait for him outside, but before they were any close to the building’s main door, they heard people yell.

“Hands up!”

Chan turned around to see where the sound was coming from. His eyes met two pairs of police officers with guns pointed at them.

Without thinking, Chan’s adrenaline levels kicked in and he intuitively started running back to the car, dragging Felix along with him. Right when he was about to open the door and throw Felix back inside, he heard a gunshot.

Suddenly, his right hand went numb for a second, then he felt excruciating pain dominate the whole right side of his body. He groaned in pain. Instantly, he reached with his left hand and tried to shove Felix into the car, but the boy stood frozen with his hands thrown up into the air.

Felix gave up. His cheeks were smeared with a layer of fresh tears when he saw Chan get shot. Ever since then, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe.

Chan wanted to tell him that he was okay, but another gunshot disabled him of doing so. His hand slowly let go of him and he was into the car without the boy. The second shot was aiming for his car tire and, unfortunately, it hit. But what was a tire to a car? He had three more and he wasn’t willing to obey to some crazy fucking police officer. 

When he was at the safe distance from the policemen, he still didn’t dare to turn his head around and see his darling get cuffed before his eyes, when he promised that he’d stay with him no matter what the situation brought. God, Chan wanted to hurt them when he imagined them shoving Felix to the ground.

But more than anything, he wanted to kill them when he heard Felix plead desperately that he was innocent.


	16. Jeongin

Jeongin loved waking up at such early hours that he gets to see the sun rise before his tired eyes. It made him feel useful, although it had no effect on his life currently. It also reminded him of his job – watching everything from afar, soaking up information without being noticed, then using that information against people Chan deemed as guilty.

Those mornings were even better while smoking weed, leaned against his bedroom window with somebody else other than himself in his bed. That was the peace Jeongin desired the most throughout his life. No problems, no worries, no hurry. Just him, smoke and the starry night right before the sun.

“Did you reconsider,” a voice from his bed peeked in a gravely tone – the voice just after waking up.

Jeongin turned around, hand still hanging out of the room with a rolled cigarette so the burned-over ashes don’t dirty his room. He made sharp eye contact with the girl from his bed and immediately turned around to continue his short enjoyment.

“Jeonginnie,” she stood up and approached him, placing an arm over his right shoulder and patting it lightly. “If you don’t tell your boss, I’ll call him myself.”

“Yeona, if you ever mention donating kidneys to him, I’ll never get so see you again,” Jeongin spoke rather nonchalantly. That was the only way he could prove a point to Yeona.

She was sharp soul. Very controlling and spiteful at times. If he ever told her not to do something, she’d do it just to show that she can and will do whatever she wants. But donating one of her kidneys was not a game to play.

If Chan ever found about her wills, he’d get her from the streets while she’s shopping, tape her, knock her out and… and that would be the end for them. Chan would kill her, get, not just her kidneys, but her entire organ systems, cryopreserve them and sell them as soon as he gets the chance. And there was no way Jeongin would let Yeona do such things to herself.

Yes, her life was a mess – built from scratch she managed to learn throughout the pathetic years of suffering. Though, Jeongin had never though she was worth losing just for a sad sum of money. She had a soul like everybody else and she was worth living.

“But what if I wanna die?” her voice was not tired anymore. It echoed in peril.

“And what if I wanna see you tomorrow? And the day after that? And the week after that?” Jeongin turned around with a small smile on his face, offering her a smoke which she unsurprisingly took.

“Why would I care about what you want? This is my life and I get to do whatever I want,” Yeona almost spat the smoke from her lungs.

“Because sir is already planning to take one of Kim’s prostitutes and butcher her up for organs.”

She sighed and brought Jeongin’s arm closer to her so she could have another smoke. “Why not just use one of his own prostitutes?” 

“Why would he use his own when he can have the other’s.”

“Because that’s stealing.”

“Stealing is sir’s middle name,” Jeongin unfunnily chuckled. “He’s done it his whole life and he’s gonna continue doing it until he dies.”

Jeongin was about to have another smoke when he realized the rolled cigarette was millimeters away from burning his fingers. He wanted another one before the sun rose.

He didn't want his peace to die yet. 

"Can I have one as well," Yeona asked when she saw Jeongin leave for his small box of Cannabis. "As our last one before I die." 

"Stop joking around," Jeongin sighed, then opened his box only to find such a small amount of weed that there was no way he could roll two cigarettes. There was barely enough for one. 

"Are you sad that I'm gonna die?" she giggled like she was telling him a joke. But Jeongin wasn't in the mood for joking right now. 

"No," Jeongin dared to talk. He had a better plan in his mind - a method of controlling others by saying the opposite of what he wanted. Chan taught him a while ago how to speak to people who talk back and act out of spite. It's called reversed-psychology and Jeongin had never thought he'd get to use it so frequently. "You could die right now and I'd thank you for doing me a favor." 

She chuckled and sat next to him while he placed the thin line of processed Cannabis onto the cigarettes paper and spread it evenly from side to side. Then, he placed the filter and finally rolled it up into a perfect cigarette. It took him years of practice to master the rolling method so he could precisely tell how much Cannabis is enough for one. 

"Who would you sleep with then?" she grabbed the lighter before him and initiated him to place the stick in his mouth. 

Jeongin did so and waited for her to light it up. "The rest of Chan's prostitutes. You're not special, you know?" 

Right as Yeona was about to let the smoking begin yet again, she retreated her arm and placed it on her thigh. "I am special." 

"No, you're not. You're already past your mid-twenties and sir can't wait to hire another girl who's much younger and fresher that you." 

"No, you idiot!" she frowned and looked at him with disgust. "Who cares about what your boss values? I'm speaking about you. I'm special to you." 

Jeongin watched her hazel eyes for way longer than he should have. Her makeup was smudged for she didn't remove it last night even though Jeongin had told her he likes how she looks without it. Her clothes were as messy as the disheveled hair on her head. However, Jeongin still thought she was pretty and not just a girl that sold her body to everyone who could pay. 

When he met Yeona for the first time in her apartment, he got to talk to her before having sex. Word after word, and Jeongin could hear the motive of all her actions. She wanted to be of use at all times no matter what it costed her. Although she had no responsibility for keeping Jeongin satisfied, she jokingly offered to talk to him every time he felt sad or lonely - which Jeongin frequently did. She lent money to other girls when they needed it and didn't rush them to return it as quickly as possible. Jeongin saw how she felt joy every time people were grateful for her and how she desperately returned to people who weren't just to show them she was worth saying thank you to. 

Jeongin eventually showed her a bright smile with a cigarette between his lips. "Why would you care about what I think?" He mimicked her words from before. 

Her face immediately became sour. "No wonder why you're boss' best spokesman. You remember everything that's said to you and use it against others. And don't even get me started about winning arguments with a stubborn person. That would be a mess." 

"That's why we're a mess. Telling you about sir's need for kidney donors was just another disaster." 

"But why don't you want me to give him a kidney? Isn't it better to have it from someone who was willing to cooperate than with someone who was forcefully opened up and killed? It's unfair." 

Jeongin nodded in agreement. "The only problem is that you don't want to give your kidneys," he looked down, voice barely above a whisper. "You just want to be grateful for and remembered for what you've done for others. I know you too well, Yeona." 

After a brief moment, her hand finally lifted up and lit up his cigarette. Jeongin took a big inhale and held it in for some time while offering her a smoke. Of course, she took it with no regret for her future lungs. 

"But you can do whatever you want," Jeongin began sharply after a long exhale. "It's your life, your choices. If you want to live, go live. If you want to stop, you can stop anytime. If you wanna be happy, seek happiness. If you wanna die... Then I have no right for telling you what to do."

Yeona gave him a brief, but a fake smile. She played with her fingers; mind lost somewhere else rather than this challenging world. When Jeongin lowered himself down to look her in the eyes, she turned her head away from him and pressed her small lips together.

“Are you working toda-“ both pair of their eyes went straight to the buzzing phone on Jeongin’s nightstand. “Well, I guess you do.”

With quick steps, Jeongin went over to the low table by his bed and looked at his restless phone. Sir was calling and it was half past 5 in the morning, hence if meant it was something of greater importance. He jogged to the office of his flat and quickly answered the call.

“Hello?” Jeongin said quietly.

“Are you home?”

“Yes.”

“I need you to go to the central police department at Seoul,” Chan didn’t procrastinate with telling him the information. “Get Felix out of jail right now and don’t let them call any of his friends or family members.”

Jeongin stood frozen by his working table. “H-how?”

“For fuck’s sake, Jeongin, I don’t know! Bribe them, talk them out of it, mention who you’re working for! Changbin’s already there incase you get attacked by the policemen. Just… Get Felix out of there. We can’t risk having people find out about us and the shit we’ve got him into.”

“Alright, airtight. Just tell me what happened and I’ll get him out,” Jeongin finally started calming down.

“I was driving him back home after… a ride. We got ambushed by the police in front of his flat. There was four of them, two cars. If you ask me, they were called by someone. Lieutenant Choi wouldn’t let them get any close to us.”

The younger boy sighed and leaned himself against the closed door. “Who do you think it is?”

“Either his best friend or his co-workers. Felix is too distant with his family and it had to be someone who found out.”

“And Kim would’ve prepared a sweet shooting rather than call the police,” Jeongin assumed.

“Exactly,” Chan sighed in slight relief. “Get him out of there as soon as possible without opening fire. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.” Jeongin was about to end the call, but his mind got reminded of something. “Sir?”

There was a short pause on the other line, but he still managed to get Chan’s attention at the last second. “Yeah, yeah?”

“Could I have some Jane after I get him out?”

“Of course, just get him out.”

…

Jeongin felt obnoxiously uneasy throughout the whole taxi ride to the central police department. It's been weeks since he felt this type of nausea while sitting in a car, staring through the side window. His parents had always told him to open it in case he felt sick or stare in front rather than his phone. However, Jeongin had to search for additional information that'll be of use when he arrives.

Through his phone he found out much about Felix's best friend and roommate - Seungmin. Though, he wasn't able to find much about his previous job and ex-co-workers. It was a rather small company that was working around the Chevalier Club and that was about it. He found out where his boss currently lives, but nothing about the hired people.

God, his stomach was doing back-flips from how much his eyes were glued to the phone. But Jeongin couldn't help it. He just couldn't bare imagining Felix in jail, his scared and innocent eyes behind the bars for something he hadn't done, let alone his cheeks covered in tears from pressure. He would've got him out of it even if Chan wasn't hurrying him so much. There was no way in this world he'd let such a serene person be stuck somewhere he didn't belong to. And there Felix was, now a loyal member of Chan's goddamn gang.

Soon, he was there - standing in front of a short building with little but no windows. Jeongin quickly adjusted his tie before heading into the police department.

Before all, the waiting room was so silent that he could hear the dirt from his shoes grinding against the floor. He wondered where Changbin was when he failed to find his strong shoulders somewhere on the waiting chairs.

However, Jeongin's sharp eyes found something else while searching for his teammate. It was a boy, sitting in one of the chairs in the corner, hands pressed against his face. He seemed like he was drowning in agony. And as unfamiliar his body and face were to Jeongin, his guts were telling him this man was Felix's best friend.

The young assistant watched him from above, almost like a predator. There was something so sinister in Jeongin's eyes while he looked at the other man. For a quick minute, joy was everything he felt from this sight, then Jeongin realized this wasn't something he was supposed to feel.

Briefly, his whole demeanor changed and he crouched down to the level of the other man's face. 

"Kim Seungmin?" Jeongin watched with a sweet smile on his face how the man's head lifted up to find his eyes.

"Yes?" Seungmin's eyebrows lifted in hope.

"My name is Yang Jeongin. I'm a lawyer sent by Felix's company boss. Could I speak with you for a brief moment, sir?"

There was no more hope visible on Seungmin's face. He looked scared, actually.

Jeongin sat next to him and gave him a reassuring smile, initiating that he's the good person here. His hands hastily grabbed and opened a small journal from his pocket, then he pretended to write something in it.

"I'm here to get Mr. Lee Felix out of jail for our company is one hundred percent positive that Felix doesn't have any criminal records. Do you, perhaps, know how this occurred by an instance?"

Seungmin shook his head drastically. "I called the police. I know, I shouldn't have done that."

Jeongin covered the fact that he was completely shook by his claim, but he continued professionally. "Is there a reason why?"

"He changed so much recently."

"Could you define 'changed' differently?" Jeongin's tone was still soft and sweet. He didn't want to piss his only source of information.

"Recently, Felix has completely changed his style of clothing, he dyed his hair a darker color, became a lot more stressed, refused to eat. However..." Seungmin's expression darkened and his voice drastically dropped.

"Yes? I'm listening Mr. Kim."

"I found an immense amount of money in a case under his bed. Now, I know I might seem crazy, but there is no possible way Felix could've made so much just from working with you. Therefore, I though he got involved in third party activities."

The immediate thought that flew through Jeongin's mind when he mentioned third-party was that Seungmin had to get assassinated as quickly as possible. But another thought followed the first one - the thought that Jeongin falls asleep to.

What would Chan want?

In this particular scenario, Chan would love to get Seungmin out of his business and finish the work, but lately he had to think about Felix too since Chan got obnoxiously attached to the boy. Felix's mental health would reach the rock bottom if he heard his best friend was dead by the gang he joined. Hence, Jeongin had to skillfully talk Seungmin out of his beliefs and send him home. Then, he had to bribe Felix out and tell Chan.

Jeongin nodded in understanding. "Oh, either way, I will get to talk to him and see if he had been into any of that. But, until then, I believe you can trust me on finding out more about his activities, yes? If you agree, we can exchange numbers and I will keep you updated."

"That would be great," Seungmin finally smiled. "Here it is."

Jeongin gave him one of his phone numbers and carefully escorted him out of the building. His lips' corners curved for the last time before he left and then his face dropped dead serious. 

Soon, he could hear the front door open and close, then a cough to clear the throat of whoever got into the building. The man stood slightly behind Jeongin, but close enough for the young man to smell his specific cologne. 

That was Changbin for sure. He was waiting for Jeongin to get everyone out of the waiting room before he could intervene.

Changbin patted Jeongin’s shoulder harshly, telling him to loosen up for the upcoming job the two of them were about to do. However, as much as Jeongin tried, he couldn’t get everything out of his chest. Uneasiness still roiled his guts like he had never talked to a police officer before.

As chill as possible, Jeongin approached the clerk, a short man with glasses whose both pairs of limbs were crossed over and his eyelids were heavy. He was leaned in a chair in a tired manner.

“Excuse me?” Jeongin bent over to look him in the half-lidded eyes, but the man refused to acknowledge his presence.

“Ya!” Changbin slammed the side of his clutched fist against the glass before the sleeping clerk. “Wake the fuck up!”

The man flinched in surprise and immediately straightened. “Y-yes? How can I help you?”

Jeongin readjusted his tie again in the glass reflection and cleared his throat before speaking. “Greetings, sir. I’m here to meet Lieutenant Choi-“

“Choi is on a break. He’ll be back for work in a week or so.”

Great. That explains why there had been police in front of Felix’s flat. Lieutenant Choi would never let them get close to Chan and his gang with the amount of money they bribed.

“Who’s his substitute?”

“Lieutenant Rim, but he’s busy,” the clerk explained.

“Tell him it’s important.”

The short man nodded and left to find the so-called Lieutenant Rim. Jeongin had no fucking idea who Rim was or what his behavior was like. He had to think fast and go through all the scenarios if Lieutenant Rim decides to shut down their appeal.

It would be the best if Lieutenant accepts their offer with no complaints. The second option would have to be the bribe. The third option would include Changbin’s threatening. And, finally, the fourth one was all about assaulting so they could get Felix out.

In the worst scenario – they fail to get him out. In the best – Rim agrees to their ideas.

In little but no time, after the short clerk they could see a figure that was much bigger than the person in front of him. His arms were huge, half consistent of muscles and the other half was from fat. He had a shiny, metal badge onto the side of his breast. It was blinding.

Jeongin didn’t like the sight one bit for it wouldn’t be so easy to get the man down in case they had to put up a nasty fight. Actually, Jeongin wasn’t so sure if Changbin could take him down one on one. Therefore, he had to use all of his psychological skills Chan had taught him over the year of working of him.

The man came out of the enclosed area and slammed the glass door behind him. God, Jeongin hated the feeling of knowing the man was an arrogant douche. 

However, he smiled cutely and tilted his head. “Lieutenant Rim? Hello, my name is Lee Jeongin. I’m Felix’s distant cousin and also a new lawyer in the fields,” Jeongin paused a little so give him another smile. “Could I talk to you in private?”

The man eyed both of them with suspicion. “What’s your name again?”

“Lee Jeongin.”

“Give me your ID card.”

Jeongin reached for his wallet, a lump stuck in his throat. He prayed to the lords that the man doesn’t realize it’s a fake ID that he had gotten for himself a couple of hours ago. His hand lent him the plastic card as he looked him in the eyes.

Rim furrowed his eyebrows and proceeded to examine the ID. As expected, there was nothing wrong with it.

“What do you want,” his tone toughed.

“I’m here to sign the papers and get my cousin out of jail, Lieutenant. I believe he’d done nothing wrong and that there is not enough evidence to get him into prison. You’ve only worked with claims, am I right?”

“Nah, we need his parents to sign the papers.”

“I’m aware of that. Thought, that would be impossible because his parents are unable to come due to financial reasons. You see, Lieutenant, they aren’t from here and it would take them more than two days to arrive, hence I came here to get him out,” Jeongin explained as Changbin watched.

“And who’s that?” his head bobbed to Changbin.

Jeongin’s lips couldn’t help but curve into a malicious smirk when he saw the lack of safety in Rim’s eyes. “Oh, you don’t have to worry. He isn’t linked to Felix.”

Lieutenant’s posture straightened and he backed away a couple of steps; eyes still onto both of them. Then, he hurried over to the clerk who was back to sleeping in his chair and told him to get the papers and journal their visit.

Jeongin approached the counter and went quickly over the text that applied to getting Felix out of the cell. God, what kind of shittery was he reading? 

His hand went for the pen and signed the papers quickly. The clerk took it and copied the same paper with his signature, then proceeded to write something on his own while Lieutenant Rim was on his way to get Lix out of that shit hole.

“How distant of a cousin?” the clerk asked while writing, eyes still stuck to the papers.

“Excuse me?”

“How distant of a cousin are you to Mr. Lee Felix? Does he know you?”

Why the fuck was he asking him that? “Oh,” Jeongin smiled sheepishly. “Our great grandfathers were siblings. Long story short, his side of the family moved to southern Korea while we stayed here in Seoul.”

The clerk nodded. “Are you close to him?”

“Let’s say we are acquaintanced.”

None of them spoke until the door opened again. Felix was the first to come in. Jeongin’s eyes watered when he saw a burgundy bruise on his cheekbone – like he had gotten it while they were shoving him to the floor so they could cuff his arms. Felix’s eyes were so red that he looked like he was high on Cannabis. And he acted like it. Like there was something horribly wrong. 

Changbin squeezed Jeongin’s forearm when he saw the same. His eyes were full of furry. “Chan isn’t gonna like this,” he whispered.

“I’m aware,” Jeongin responded.

His grip tightened even more when he saw how reckless the Lieutenant’s movements were. One second he was patting Felix’s back and the other he was shoving him through the door. Fuck, the poor boy looked so exhausted.

When Felix finally raised he head to see them for the first time, he became speechless. Jeongin could see the red around his pupils from how wide his eyes have gotten.

“Come,” Jeongin went to grab him from Rim. “We’re going home.”

Jeongin hoped Felix actually still deems them as home, as someone he could always come to even after being molested more than once by whoever Chan was linked to. He hoped Felix still had some hope in his poor heart from all the shit he had to go through. And, lastly, he hoped he’d come out of this even stronger and better.

Jeongin’s is sure Chan wishes that, too.

When Rim let go of Felix, the three of them went outside – hands around Felix so they could support him as much as they could. Changbin would’ve carried him away, but he didn’t want to draw any additional attention while they were still in the department.

And Felix seemed oddly frightened and twitchy from both of them, even though he knew who they were and why they were there. Suddenly, Felix pulled Jeongin aside and clasped his arms onto Jeongin’s shoulders to the point where it almost hurt the younger one. 

“What?” Jeongin tried to calm him down. He noticed how his breathing got intense and fast.

“Call Chan!” Felix panicked. “Call him right now!”

“Lix, you’re gonna see him in just-“

“No! You have to call him now!”

Changbin jumped in between them. “Look, I know you want to hear from him, but he’s probably busy right now.”

“You don’t understand!” Felix let go of Jeongin only to grab Changbin out of desperation. “Chan’s gonna die if you don’t call him now!”

Changbin stood frozen for a moment, then he briefly reached for his phone and dialed the number.

"W-wait..." Jeongin protested. "Are you seriously going to call him? He told us not to call-"

"Shut up and try to prevent him from having a panic attack," Changbin demanded.

The phone kept ringing and ringing and ringing, but... Nothing happened. Chan didn't answer. Changbin tried calling again and again, but voicemail was all he got from doing so.

At this point Jeongin was completely lost, Changbin was trying his best to keep calm and Felix... Felix was seconds away from weeping in the middle of the sidewalk. His hands were shaking and his breathing was infrequent that Jeongin thought he was going to suffocate.

"Ch-Changbin," Felix could barely call between breaths. "Call him again and if he doesn't answer you'll have to..."

Changbin let him finish the sentence, however it seemed so hard for him to do so. "Have to what?"

Felix shook his head drastically, trying to get himself together. "You'll have to kill me. I know you have a gun. Just pull the-"

"You're fucking crazy."

"No, trust me. I know what-"

"There's no fucking way in this world I'm killing you!" Changbin pushed him away and tried to call again.

Ring after ring after ring. There was still no answer.

Suddenly, Felix launched towards Changbin, trying to grab his pistol. Jeongin pulled his arm away, but the boy ignored all signs to stop.

That was until he actually brushed his fingers onto the gun from the side of Changbin’s hip.

But instead of grabbing it, Felix felt a sharp kick to the side of his neck and dropped unconscious to the filthy pavement. Jeongin saw his eyes were still half-open. He crouched down to let him rest while they tried to reach Chan one more time.


	17. Changbin

It's been a while since Changbin felt worry, especially when it's connected to Chan. He had grown to be so sure of Chan's life skills that the thought of him being wounded had never crossed his mind. Let alone killed. 

As the streets got rough, the only thing Changbin's mind could focus on was to keep doubting the fact that Chan was really dead. There was no possibility that he'd let Chan die before him without fighting. At least that's what he promised when Chan saved his life 8 years ago. 

God, he loved their neighborhood for its monotonous and peaceful energy. The colors were easy on his eyes and the smell of smog reminded him of winter - when he met Chan for the first time. 

However, he couldn't let the emotions get to him, not right now with an unconscious person on his backseat and a panicking baby next to him. This was the reason why they refused to let Jeongin live with them. He couldn't bare violence and blood; his demeanor would drastically change afterwards. He was almost like Felix, but the freckled boy always came back to his previous self after seeing so much. Though, Chan wasn't so sure about how Jeongin would react to seeing someone get assassinated right before his fragile eyes. Hence, Chan bought him a flat and told him to live his life normally while they weren't together. 

He was shaking like a twig during the cold breezes. Even his teeth were chattering from time to time. 

"I-I don't get why you had to knock him out like that," Jeongin could barely speak from the fear that clasped his throat. 

Changbin refused to respond to his saying. He couldn't waste energy on trying to explain that Felix was so out of control that he was more useful unconscious than crazy. 

"Did you call Minho to check if he knew where Chan was? A-and Jisung? Maybe he knows something."

Changbin was starting to get pissed. "I told you that Minho isn't responding and Jisung is substituting me for the dealing work. Jeongin, you have to get yourself together in order to help me or else you'll stay here while I find them." 

Jeongin joggled his head in order to get to a more of a composed state of thinking, but it wasn't going well. Changbin could still see the tremor in his limbs. 

When they finally arrived home, Changbin jolted out of the car and slammed the door shut, then locked it. "Take care of Felix. I'll be right back." 

And he vanished before Jeongin's eyes. 

The first hard step he took when entering the house felt the worst. Changbin's mind mistook their house, their hallways, their pictures on the white walls. Like he had never been there before. At first, he couldn't recognize the wolf photo and the walls seemed oddly constricted, almost suffocating. For the first time in his life, he hated the smell that the small hallways gave. Was it blood? 

Changbin slowly walked to their kitchen, hands carefully holding a pistol while his eyes searched for any signs of life. Maybe broken plates on the floor weren't exactly life, but they were enough to raise the pressure in his blood. He examined the pieces covering their laminate floor, looking for blood of any shape or form. However, he couldn't find any. 

"Chan? Minho?" Changbin said loudly, hoping that he'd get the answer soon. 

But the answer never came. 

Hence, his feet led him to Chan's room first. He didn't find anything unusual after glancing inside. The bathroom was also free from any evidence. 

Then, he moved to Jisung and Minho's room. Everything was perfectly clean, mirror spotless, all clothes folded, lights turned off... If it weren't for the Minho's cleaning habits, Changbin would've thought everything was perfectly right. However, the untidy bed made him rethink the conclusion. That was also Minho's bed, which was weirdly unusual for a perfectionist like him. Regardless of the small signs, Changbin still couldn't tell whether Minho was inside or outside the house. Maybe Chan took him somewhere. 

The next room Changbin checked was his own room. It was akin to Minho and Jisung's except the fact that his bed was actually made. Everything else looked like the usual. 

"Minho?" he yelled, but again, got nothing in return. 

Through the pristine window of his room that overlooked their empty garden, he saw the tree branches swaying occasionally. At some point, Changbin thought that they were going to break, but he remembered that no such thing as wind could destroy something so strong and old like this tree. This house looked nothing like the house he spent the last 4 years in. Usually, he was the one to be missing during busy days. Minho and Jisung were always guarding the doors, yet now it felt like there was nothing to protect.

Suddenly, the pistol felt too heavy for his arms when they became small for a second. Changbin looked at them and couldn’t possibly believe how tiny and muscle-less they used to be when he was younger. Intuitively, he looked through the window again and saw both of them – Minho and Chan, holding hands. Young and pure. It wasn’t even a bright day, yet their glistening eyes shined brighter than the sun itself. God, he missed to see them happy.

Changbin’s eyes shined too through the garden window. The only difference was that it wasn’t from happiness and joy he had missed so remarkably, though from the old sense of lost.

He was crying for the first time in a while.

When he raised his hand to wipe the tears off of his face, Changbin noticed how they returned back to his usual muscly and veiny arms. If there were time, he would spend far more than a couple of minutes remembering what it used to be like when the three of them hadn’t got so deep into the gang system. 

Lightly slapping himself a couple of times to return to the wary state of his mind, Changbin walked through the hallway. He stopped before the door that led to the laboratory, which he hadn’t visited in a while. To be honest, he wasn’t sure if he could remember the door code again.

Changbin didn't know why he avoided those stairs so badly. Although they provided an odd scent of chemicals, like the practice laboratories from his chemistry class, he refused to believe his hatred came from such a condition. Yes, school had never been one of his favorites for he hated the thought of competing due to earning a number, and most of all, spending time on something he'd never get to practically use.

With every step he took, the sound of panting got louder and louder, until Changbin stopped himself to check whether he was hallucinating. Fortunately or not, his mind was perfectly fine and the panting was far more than real. It was partly killing him.

The gigantic metal door with a code-input bar glued to the side stood before him like Kim's men when he was younger. Certain words that lurked through his head tried to help him remember the code.

Don't think about the numbers. Just remember the hand movements.

And, surprisingly, it worked. If someone was to ask him what the code was, he wouldn't exactly know.

Changbin entered the lab like his job was to keep track of drugs; bright led lamps almost blinding him. It took him some time to realize that there was actually someone in there, panting and crying. Tense, he stood and watched the scene, not believing what was happening.

It was Minho that was crying. He was turned away and his body couldn’t be seen due to the practice table that was in front, thought it didn’t stop Changbin from noticing that something was terribly off. When he cried, Minho would just sob and tear up, create little but no noise overall.

Yet he was almost suffocating right now.

Changbin started moving closer to the ginger boy. “Why didn’t you-“

What could he do? What could he do with a bloodied-up body next to him? Maybe he could’ve shouted and called for help if it were someone else but Chan.

Changbin never believed in God; he thought the story was made up to introduce people t manifesting. However, when his now-blurry eyes saw the pool of blood so fresh and crimson, he called the Saints and God for help to save his brother from dying like a slaughtered animal. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if Chan wasn’t unconscious.

Instantly, his feet rushed to the crouching boy who was pressing the wound in Chan’s stomach, replacing him in doing so for Minho had already lost plenty of energy coping with the situation. He told him to grab his pocket knife and guard the door as he took his own shirt and pressed it against the bloodied pile of clothes.

“Changbin…” Minho quivered from behind the man. “I-“

“Shut up and get to the door!”

Changbin couldn’t listen to his ideas, not right now. He was too busy using his force to stop the bleeding. At one point, he thought he heard Chan sigh loudly. The paleness of his face woke shivers in his body, and the dryness of his lips told him that it’s been a while since he’s been stabbed. God, Changbin couldn’t look at him; he had to turn his head away from the death that prowled before his eyes.

But when he did so, he saw a small, bloody knife on the right side of Chan’s body. He could tell it was thrown away from the splashed crimson liquid on the floor. And… he could also tell it was Minho’s pocket knife from the visible pattern on its handle.

Changbin’s jaw clenched. “Is that yours?” he exclaimed.

Minho didn’t answer his question, but just dropped his head and circled his weak arms around his torso, like he was hugging himself.

“Is that fucking yours, Minho!? Did you stab Chan?!”

Minho didn’t answer again. He dropped to his knees and began weeping in agony.

Changbin was feeling excruciatingly devastated now; cries echoing through the open laboratory, blood on Chan, blood on his hands, blood everywhere. He had to raise his hand and slap himself to maintain sane, leaving a bloody pattern on his own face.

Did he dare to call the ambulance and risk getting all of them into prison? Did he dare to put everyone’s life into mere danger just to save Chan’s? Did he dare to break the promise he made with his brother when he was very young and barely into the drug dealing?

The promise that he’d let Chan die no matter the circumstances if he was ever sentenced to life in prison. That’s what Chan asked from him and they both agreed to keep the promise until they die.

However, right now he felt like there was nobody else but him – Jeongin was uselessly caring for unconscious Felix in the car that was far away from them, Minho wasn’t anywhere near the right state of mind and Jisung was currently too far to help. He was entirely alone, supposed to help them all when he couldn’t even get his own mind into thinking.

But he was better that that, he knew. That’s what Chan told him ever since they were young. He couldn’t give up; not right now.

Hence, he broke the nearest glass case and grabbed one of the pieces, then covered it in blood and wrapped it into the bloody clothes. Chan’s body felt extremely light compared to his size; maybe it was from the lost blood.

Changbin carried Chan out of the house as quickly as possible and came to the car. He unlocked it and told Jeongin to immediately get onto the backseat with Felix, then he put Chan’s body next to him and told him to press onto the wound as hard as possible.

Jeongin couldn’t unfreeze at first, but when he received a sharp slap to his face, he was more than capable of doing so.

Throughout the whole ride he was planning how to tell the doctors what happened and pray that they don’t get investigated. Occasionally, he’d switch his point of view from the busy road to the backseat to check whether they were all okay. Frankly, none of them were okay.

Jeongin was doing what he had told him and Felix and Chan were numbly lying on the seat, Chan’s body over Felix’s, his blood painting everything around. 

Chan would’ve loved the sight if he wasn’t the one to be dying. He’d love to see how delightful the red color looked all over them. It was on their hands, faces, clothes, windows and, soon, it would even be in their minds, haunting forever. 

“D-did you find out who did it?” Jeongin spoke as his hand hovered over Chan’s nose to check whether he was still alive.

Changbin was so pissed that he was on the verge to go on an insulting spree. “Minho.”

“Are you…” Jeongin’s breathing evened out when he confirmed that Chan was still alive, barely. “Are you 100% sure?”

“Yes. That fucker was the only one in the lab when I found him. And it was his knife that was covered in blood,” Changbin hissed.

“Do you know why-“

“No. Nobody knows what gets into his crazy head,” Changbin looked over the rearview mirror to check if they were fine again. “And he would’ve killed Felix as well if he had been there.”

“Why didn’t you bring him as well? How could you leave him alone after this?” Jeongin’s grip onto the pressed clothes loosened.

“Don’t loose the fucking grip!” Changbin was seconds away from booming. “And he was so lost, Jeongin, he couldn’t talk! He was shaking and crying so fucking much that they’d mistake him as a victim as well!”

The younger boy silenced after the sharp tone. Instead, he focused on Chan’s wound until they were in front of the hospital.

Changbin took Chan from his dirty hands and carried him bridal style to the giant entrance. The moment he stepped out of the car, people started gasping and staring at them. Changbin sincerely didn’t care who was looking as far as they didn’t get into his fucking business.

As soon as his feet stepped into the hospital, he started shouting. “Help! He’s going to die!”

In an instant, a couple of nurses rushed to help Changbin hold Chan as they moved into the ambulance room. He heard sirens from the room and after that two men got out of it and yanked Chan’s limb body out of his strong grip.

From that stressful moment, there was nothing more he could do instead of prey to whoever was watching over Chan’s suffering soul.

He sat onto the chair in the waiting room where at least 20 more people rested as well, looking at him like was the one dying as well. The stares felt too heavy compared to Chan’s weight, especially the incoming nurse’s stare.

“He’s in professional hands right now, sir. Do you care to explain what exactly happened?” she was concerned for their good, Changbin could see it in her eyes.

He stood up and walked over to the office with her. God, he hated the image he had seen while passing the big mirror in the hallway – the blood on his face and hands had already turned brown from how much time had passed. And his hair was looking like a bird’s nest, drowned in cold sweat mixed with a hint of some more blood.

“Sit,” she advised him and offered a wet tissue which Changbin gladly took and started wiping away the spots on his face. “What happened?”

“Oh, god…” Changbin faked panic. “H-he was cleaning our glass showcase at home a-and somehow ended up falling on it. I-I seriously don’t know the odds of it happening! I found him lying on the floor 5 minutes later! A-and-“

“It’s okay, take your time. Breathe.”

Changbin continued pretending like he was actually really hyperventilating. “I-I took him here as soon as I could,” Changbin reached for the folded piece of clothing in his pocket. He unfolded it slowly and showed her the piece of glass he had taken earlier. “This is what he got stabbed on.”

“Were you the only one present when it happened?”

Changbin nodded.

“What’s his name? And yours if I may ask?”

“B-Bang Chan. And I’m Seo Changbin. We’ve been roommates ever since college.”

She nodded and placed the bloody piece of glass into a plastic bag, then closed it. “Mr. Seo, you are free to go right now. I’ll inform you whether you’ll need to bring his belongings while he’s resting. But now, the only thing you can do is wait for our surgeons to do their job.”

Changbin sighed and devastatingly dropped his head. He wanted to hold Chan’s hand and tell him it was going to be fine, but he wasn’t ever certain himself.


	18. Felix

Muffled conversation played in his head like a perfect lullaby, almost too perfect. It sounded like someone had just taken a shot next to his ear, deprived of the annoying buzzing just after the pulled trigger. 

When he opened his eyes, Felix felt a sharp pain to his shoulder as well as his lip; he could tell it was cut, but covered in dried blood. He couldn't see anything as it exactly was. The sofas were the only thing he could recognize, or no, those were car seats. He was lying on a backseat of someone's car. 

Drowned in confusion and pain, Felix lifted his torso up and sat straight to see if that would give him clearance. 

"Lix?" a voice spoke from the passenger seat, but it was effected by such an echo that he couldn't tell whose it was. It sounded like he was talking to an angel on the gateway to heaven. Or, perhaps, hell. "Go back to sleep, Lix..." 

"Where's Chan?" Felix spoke without a thought. He didn't know how he was able to think of Chan when he couldn't even see or hear properly. 

"Chan is resting. He's fine," now he could sense the panic in that person's voice. 

Suddenly, his thoughts grouped into a coherent harmony, anxiety tightened his still-tired lungs just after. The cards. He needed the cards right now. 

"Do you have my cards? Where are they?" Felix's vision cleared to the point where he was able to reach for the man's jacket and yank him backwards. 

"Hey, easy!" the voice was almost recognizable. "They are here, but it's better if you rest right now. Leave them for when you are able to read, yeah?"

"I want to read them right now," Felix's childish persistence was too strong of a game for the man in front.

"Right, but go back to sleep after you finish."

His hands were fatigue, almost to the point where his fingers would just give up on holding the box and splatter Tarot cards all over the car. God, they were like glitter - once you spill the deck, you can never stop finding random cards over time. And they were pretty much impossible to gather completely after doing so. Hence, dropping the deck meant losing the deck in conclusion.

Felix's vision cleared almost fully, he just couldn't see the number on the card, but it didn't matter since he knew them all just by touch. Some of them had bloomed edges and some of them were slightly curved from the frequent use. But it was his first and only deck, so he refused to let go of it until it was practically useless.

His eyes ignored the men in front, though he could now see them enough to recognize them, however they focused on what was in his hands. Felix shuffled the cards and asked himself a quick question.

Chan's being?

Then, he pulled out a card and hoped it was something good instead of the damn dead horseman. Before looking at it, his eyelids dropped and let him fully emerge in the darkness of his own mind. 

Although he couldn't see it, he sensed it was something decent, he knew those edges like they were his own body.

Two of Coins.

When he saw the picture on the card, Felix sighed. It wasn't particularly good to see this card, but he knew Chan wouldn't give up without a fight. The man on the face was juggling, maintaining the balance, truly struggling. But he was persistent in it. Felix deemed this as a sign that Chan is also struggling to keep his balance, recovering from whatever happened to him to retrieve to his previous position.

When he confirmed that Chan was still alive, Felix looked up with eyes full of sudden relief. He saw Jeongin on the passenger seat and Changbin on driver's seat. The windows were smudged with some kind of brownish substance, even their faces looked dirty. He raised his hand to tap Jeongin's shoulder but instead he saw that it was also dirty. It smelled like blood.

Oh, if Jeongin saw the look on his face when he touched his own black shirt, all soaked in still-wet blood, he'd remember it for life. Everything in this car looked horrendous for his poor eyes. Even the seat was drenched in sticky red.

“Jeongin?” Felix’s voice trembled. “Whose blood is this?”

Jeongin looked at him through the rearview mirror, then his eyes squinted to see his expression and give him an answer based on that. Felix was truly scared to be in a situation like this and he could tell Jeongin disliked it as well. 

“Chan’s,” Jeongin replied nonchalantly, like he isn’t bothered at all, yet his lip slightly quivered when he spoke.

“A-are you sure he’s fine?”

Reluctance was drowning both Jeongin and Changbin. Changbin wasn’t usually the one to talk and explain things, but Jeongin definitely felt impeccably uncomfortable doing so. “He’s gonna make it.”

“What happened to him? How bad is it?”

Jeongin briefly looked at Changbin to see what the other says. Blind to Felix’s eyes, Changbin gave Jeongin a small wink as a bluff to cover what actually happened for Minho’s sake.

“Chan was in the lab, looking for today’s deliver drugs, and he tripped over the glass showcase and fell onto it. Changbin found him on the floor all covered in blood from the stab – he got stabbed in his lower abdomen when he broke it,” Jeongin made a sour expression. “God, how small accidents could kill a man; it’s unbelievable.”

"Ohh..." Felix became quiet along with the whole atmosphere. He tried to let it sink in for a moment, however his mind was unable to do so. It was hard to believe that someone so close to him was now fighting for his life in a hospital bed when yesterday they were having fun outside - talking, laughing, holding hands.

Felix wished he could hold his hand right now. Seize it like never before, tell him it's going to be okay and that he's strong and willful to get back to them. Tell him that he wished they could be together even if it ruined all of their current and good relationships. Because if Chan died, he would've regretted it for his whole life. Life is once, and once never repeats in Chan's case.

"Why didn't Minho help him?" his hurt self whispered silently, yet it was enough to earn Jeongin's scoff. 

"Felix, Minho and Chan barely see each other during the day. They are busy with their own schedules and, also, we don't know when it happened."

"But isn't Minho supposed to be in a lab all day?" 

Jeongin shook his head. "I don't know, Lix... He was cooking when Changbin came, he didn't hear anything." 

Felix nodded in understanding. Frankly, he shouldn't have poked his nose in the places he wasn't supposed to. Minho was probably still mad at Chan and refused to talk to him, that's it. He just wondered if Minho felt as guilty as him for not being there for Chan when he needed them.

The rest of the ride had barely any speech. Changbin was eventually clearing his throat and Jeongin was sighing, while Felix's head was a complete mess. How was he supposed to work for them now that Chan wasn't on duty? Was he supposed to listen to someone else? 

"What are we going to do while Chan isn't here?" Felix began again. 

Now Changbin was the one to answer his question. "You know about the plan, right?" 

"The one at Kim's Casino? I'm acquainted with it." 

"We still have to perform it in 3 days. All of Hyunjin's men are already prepared and we can't change the day of execution." 

"Who's gonna take the lead?" Felix tilted his head slightly. 

"Who do you think?" 

"You?" 

"Good job, you guessed it." 

Felix was able to snort at his way of talking which he wasn't exactly used to. Changbin barely talked while Chan was there and it was quite a surprise to witness him having a similar attitude. Perhaps, that was a manufacture of their long friendship. 

They say that you are who you're with, and considering that the two of them were close ever since they were young, it was natural to act similarly. However, Felix still thought Changbin’s addictions and complexes were far milder than Chan’s intuition to kill everything that was a threat to him. Maybe this was karma giving Chan a payback for everything that he’s stolen from people, be it a simple kiss, a key, watch or even life.

But Felix noticed that Chan never got the good that he deserved as well. Actually, every mistake he made had drastic consequences. If he was to go outside, there would be a high chance that he gets shot, but if Felix were to go outside, there would barely be any chance that anything happens to him. And that’s how most of his life went – just small mistakes with merciless consequences.

As soon as they arrived home, Changbin’s phone started ringing, an unknown number. Changbin locked the car doors until the call was finished and all of them heard the conversation he had.

“Hello?” he answered in anticipation while Jeongin and Felix were listening carefully, both leaned forward to hear the conversation better.

“Hello? Mr. Seo?” a female voice spoke politely.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“This is the nurse that you’ve spoken to when bringing Bang Chan to the hospital. I have some news for you to hear,” she said in a tone which Changbin couldn’t tell was glad or mournful.

“Yes, I’m listening.”

“The surgery went well. We found no foreign body inside of the wound. Right now he is recovering from high loss of blood and he has to stay in our nurturing department for a week. No internal hemorrhage detected for now, though he’s currently suffering from anemia. I advise you to pack his necessary belongings and bring them here for 7 days while he’s recovering.”

The corners of Changbin’s mouth curved slightly while Felix and Jeongin were holding their sighs full of relief. 

“Alright, I’ll be here in an hour,” Changbin composed himself before giving her an answer.

“That would be lovely,” the nurse’s voice softened, but it came to a higher pitch just afterwards. “And, sir?”

“Yes?”

“Why didn’t you report his bullet wound?”

Changbin frowned in confusion. “The bullet wound?”

“Yes, we weren’t able to find a foreign body in his abdomen area, but we found a pistol bullet in his right shoulder. Excuse me, but I don’t know anything specific about bullets. ”

Changbin looked at the youngest to see if he knew anything about it, however Jeongin’s eyes were wide as the Atlantic Ocean because he, also, had no idea what the nurse was talking about. Although, Jeongin’s hands mimicked a wheel rolling which meant that Changbin should play along and make up the story.

“Miss…” Changbin took a deep, yet fake breath. “I think there’s an intruder in our house…”

“Do you want me to call the police?”

“I’ll call them myself. I’m not inside yet. If I don’t return to give Chan his clothes in 3 hours, could you call them then? The address is…” Changbin looked at Jeongin for a split second. “7-9, Yongsanapateu 5, Yongsan-gu.”

“Alright, please take care.”

Changbin hung up and immediately put a hand to his forehead in disbelief. 

"Chan got shot when I got arrested," Felix spoke after some time to clear their confusion. "When he tried to drag me into the car they took a shot, but I didn't see much else."

Changbin’s face was buried in his hands, muffled sighs trapped behind them as he tried to come up with a better plan. On the other hand, Jeongin's face was relaxed, almost too relaxed. He was exhausted even though it was just afternoon. While looking through the car window he pressed his lips together and searched for something - it didn't matter what, just something to focus on other than the pile of problems that they've gathered.

It was hard to see them like this, especially Changbin. He was always the one to relentlessly work until his legs couldn't take another step. And now, while he looked lost in his thoughts and when there was no one to come to, his fingers found their way to the radio. At first, Felix thought he was going to play some music, but soon he found out that the radio was just a mask to cover a big pit behind it. There was a small wooden box, perhaps the size of his hand, which he took out of there carefully. It had plenty of plant stems craved onto it and a metal hook which kept it closed in case it gets flipped over.

"Want one?" Changbin asked Jeongin, then Felix.

Felix didn't know what that was, but just mimicked Jeongin's nod and waited for him to do the rest.

Soon, he recognized the plant. Was this going to be his first Cannabis rolled cigarette? Right now, when all of them were fighting for their future and lives?

Changbin briefly rolled his own, then lent the box and papers to Jeongin. "Do you want me to roll it for you?" the youngest asked Felix in a whisper. 

Felix nodded and watched his skillful fingers do so in a moment. Then, Jeongin placed it between Felix's lips, rolled his own and pulled out a lighter.

"Chan gave this to me when I started working for him," Jeongin told them, especially Felix since Changbin must've known about it. "He told me that I was as sly as a fox and engraved it into the lighter and gave it to me."

Felix took some time to look at the lighter. It was a metal, expensive one, which would probably last for several months. And the fox symbol was cute, it looked like Jeongin to be honest. He smiled at it and pulled down his shirt which was now completely dry from blood that it became hard to the touch.

His fingers pulled out his star necklace and showed it to both of them. "And this is what Chan got me when I joined." There was a light coat of crimson red covering his Swarovski star, hence when it shined, it shined with a tint of red.

Jeongin smiled and lit up his cigarette, then Changbin’s and finally his own.

"Did Chan ever give anything to you, Changbin?" Felix asked before inhaling some of the smoke.

It didn't smell like typical cigarettes that you buy at stores; it was milder, yet powerful. Felix watched Jeongin do it, then the same way he took a smoke held it in for some time and exhaled sparse clouds of tranquility. It did feel peaceful after all; to see the different shapes coming out of his mouth and nose, and feel like he was getting lighter and lighter after every second the smoke lasted in his lungs.

Changbin watched him, head tilted so it leaned on the side of the seat. "He also got me a necklace," he pulled down his hoodie to let them see it. He had two of them - one was a chain necklace and the other was a feminine golden necklace, much like Felix's but with no star. "I promised that I'll kill him if he ever got sentenced to life in prison. So, he got me this as a gift for lifelong loyalty and our companionship."

It felt good to smile at them without a reason. It felt good to feel ease in his chest for once and tell anxiety to come back later. It felt good to forget the echoing screams of a slaughtered man in his head, to forget about Minho's threats, about the splattering blood all over the attic, about his bloody shirt, about Chan being sniped, about the merciless stabbing he'd witnessed, about the psychotic state of his boss' mind...

Yet it felt beautiful to remember the day when he was sitting in his taxi, number four, shuffling the deck like he always did, waiting for a customer to come up to him and ask for a ride and instead seeing a shorter man in black with black hair glancing in his direction just after emerging from a nearby corner. Felix threw his head back when the face of that particular stranger became vivid and sharp that he could recognize him. And those knocks on the car window felt like music to his ears unlike the cries and weeps he listened to as a lullaby at night. 

Chan was his lullaby. Chan was what he thought of every day, what ruined him the most, yet brought him euphoria every time they shared smiles and laughs. He was his sickness and his medicine, his riot and his peace, his oblivion and his wisdom, his alcohol and his water. He was the best, but at the same time he was the worst. And Felix couldn't decide which one to pick most of the times.

God, he wished he could kiss Chan right now while feeling this way. But, instead, the only thing he could kiss was the paper of an almost gone cigarette between his fingers. And along with it came an end to his fantasy.

What a stupid fantasy.

…

Changbin drove to his flat just after Jeongin finished his cigarette, which took him quite long to finish. He knew how to enjoy it better than the two nippy boys who finished theirs in just 2 minutes.

Right now came a different problem that Felix couldn’t possibly care about because of the thick clouds of smoke in the car – the problem of meeting Seungmin after he had called the police on him.

Jeongin told him about Seungmin's call and findings just 10 minutes ago and he was still acting surprised. His best friend called the police.

Felix stood in front of the main elevator of his building, thinking about bringing the matter up or just completely avoiding it like it never happened. Because, frankly, Felix couldn't make up such flawless lies as Jeongin and Chan. He would slip somewhere and contradict himself, then dig an even deeper hole for his life to lie in. But at the same time, he needed to talk to Minnie about it; why he had done that, what he found, what led him to think about such things. 

He was still deeply overthinking even when he reached the front door of their own home - silent as the wind, cold as the breeze. Seungmin was quick to answer his timid knocks on the door, which he preferred over ringing the bell, and let him inside. His head was down ever since Felix took the first step in, even refusing to look him in the eyes for a split second. 

"Minnie?" Felix whispered softly as that he wanted to see his face.

"Mmm?" Seungmin lifted his head immediately after hearing his own name being said with such serenity.

Guilt sprinkled in his dark eyes as they met Felix's, lower lip instantly transforming into a barely noticeable pout. Never had Felix thought that they'd be stuck into a banal situation like this for their pointless insecurities.

"Why?" Felix tilted his head and cooed like a hurt baby bird.

"I was so scared..."

"Of what?"

"Of your colleagues being right.”

Felix’s eyes were wide open. “What colleagues?”

Seungmin shook his head and dropped it once more. Felix could sense the reluctance in his voice when he spoke – like he was afraid of letting the cat out of the bag.

Then, something in his brain lit up that caused him to get utterly confused. The only colleagues Minnie knew of were his driver buddies from the Chevalier’s Club, when he was still unacquainted with Chan and his gang members. He was sure Hojun told Seungmin something about it when they accidentally met while he was doing the running job. He must have. That was the only possible source of information that Minnie got access to.

“What did they tell you?” Felix pretended to be disappointed from the fact that Seungmin actually believed them.

“Lix, I know you’re into some stuff that I do not know of. You don’t have to lie to anyone, especially not me. I found that suitcase full of money in your closet when I was cleaning it and, god, I couldn’t possibly think of a job that could get you such a large amount of money in barely a month,” Seungmin’s tone sharpened. “And that necklace, Lix… I know you would never buy yourself such a pricey accessory when our parents can barely afford our place of residence.”

Full of concerns, Felix stood before his best friend and watched. No escape shined at the end of his road – he either loses Seungmin or his place at Chan’s team. Either way, further lying would just cause him way more trouble.

"What exactly did Hojun tell you?"

"It doesn't matter now. I want to hear everything from you."

"Seungmin, I can't-"

"Yes, you can! What's got in your mind for god's sake?!" Seungmin's voice transformed into mild yelling, causing the sound to bounce off their empty walls and repeat in Felix's mind like a nightmare. 

Was he losing his best friend after 5 years of being inseparable? 

"If I tell you, you'll be in danger, and I don't want your life to be in danger." 

"But you want your own life to be in danger?" Seungmin spat the words in a repulsive manner. "I just want to know what caused you to get into such activities in the first place." 

That was a perfectly good question to wake up Felix's rational process of thinking. But he himself didn't know for sure why he had joined Chan. Frankly, there were a lot of aspects that affected his choice, but he could never choose just one and say that was the only reason. 

He saw an opportunity to get better at certain things from Chan's offer - communicating, agility, mental strength, economy... He loved the thought of mattering to someone and being wanted for being himself. But most important of all, he saw an escape from his never-ending exhaust in that job. Being a taxi driver made him sick for he couldn't get better at such things like driving. Their boss even told them to drive slowly so they could get more money from customers. So, how could Felix possibly feel good in such a suffocating environment? 

For once, he hated the silence and Seungmin's stare. It made him want to cry in agony. 

"I'm lost, Minnie," he whimpered as his gaze was somewhere out of this world. He truly was lost in in a myriad of unrealistic wishes and hopes. "I couldn't recognize myself anymore." 

Seungmin's face turned into a pitiful observation rather than a furious stare. They could feel the room getting colder and colder after every second of their silence dominating the interior. They could break like ice, every part of them. 

Suddenly, even touch felt dangerous from their obnoxious fragility. Breathing could crumble them down, maybe even words. Where had their warm hearts and feelings disappear when they were needed the most - to restore their insecurities and broken promises? To make them remember how they were fighting for each other when they could barely pull themselves together? 

Then, after a quiet sound of his sobs, Felix found the light again, barely shining. 

"I'm sorry, Minnie." 

However, that light was soon to be extinguished when Seungmin grabbed his coat and turned around to pass by Felix and head outside for some real winter breeze. 

"All I wanted to do is to help you, Felix. But you keep running away and slipping from my grip, like you don't notice how much I care for you. And, at the end of the day, I'm going to be a villain who broke you yet again and wasn't able to put you back to your usual self," Seungmin spoke with no emotion whatsoever. "I just wonder if you ever think about how I feel when I hear you lying to my face after all of those sleepless nights I spent hugging you to sleep." 

Felix gulped and said desperately. "I do!" 

"You don't seem like it." 

After that, Seungmin left the flat to clear his dim thoughts. And Felix was left alone, yet again, to damn his immortality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's my [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/zivkovicdanica_).


	19. Chan

Who would’ve thought that such an acknowledged man in Seoul like Chan would be lying in a hospital nursery bedroom on Sunday? Sundays were visiting days in Seoul Central hospital, the time where your family and friends come to check up on you, exchange some encouraging words, then leave in hope you come home soon and well.

Chan spent his Sunday alone, same as the past 2 days.

It's been terrible ever since he woke up from the obnoxiously long nap. He couldn't believe he actually slept for 10 hours without waking up from the quietest of the sounds, not even the nurses checking up on him every hour or so. 

Though, the worst of his realizations was definitely the time he realized he couldn't move his right arm, excruciating pain paralyzing him every time he tried to lift it. And the two large bandage patches made his breathing organs shrink from overwhelming tension. At first, he thought they stole one of his kidneys when he saw the patch on his abdomen, but then he remembered the wretched truth - when Minho launched at him with tears in his eyes. 

He stopped thinking about that sight for his own good. 

Chan had never wanted to leave the bed so badly. Oftentimes, he spoke about the lack of his free time, how he barely gets enough sleep during night, how he'd like to go on a vacation for a couple of days. But never has he ever realized how addicted to work he was. During the long day, he couldn't keep at peace for his hands ached for a pen and paper to sign deals and offers, even his brain was staring to rust. Thinking about his job made him stressed, not because he hated the thought of it, but rather because he longed for doing something other than watch television, eat and chit-chat with the orderly nurse. 

Even worse was the thought of his kingdom crumbling down from frailty, because he wasn't there to be the base of everyone's work nor the desperate support and reminders they needed to raise up. He surely trusted Changbin with his life, but Changbin was already managing all of the dealing schedules for the newcomers of their gang - the new members who needed tutoring before actually proceeding to finish their jobs. Hence, Chan thought he must be having a hard time managing all of their gang's jobs. Jeongin must've been helping with signing the desired dealing documents, but they were still lacking the queen on their chessboard.

The nurse soon came back with a tray and a smile on her face.

“Lunch?” she asked hopefully and placed the tray in Chan’s lap before he even opened his mouth to answer.

Chan pitied the sick hospitalized people for what they had to eat there. It was his third day and his third portion of boiled, salted rice for lunch. Even a grateful man would’ve been sick of it, let alone Chan. The two boiled eggs and kimchi gave him a little appetite, though it was such a small portion of eagerness that he would rather skip another meal.

“Rice again?” Chan made a disgusted grimace and looked at the nurse.

“Uh… That’s what the doctor says suits every patient’s diet.”

She scooped a small amount of rice and placed it before Chan’s mouth to feed him. Chan’s head instantly turned to the other side like a child who’s constantly refusing to eat.

“I’m not hungry.”

“You won’t have another meal for 4 hours if you don’t eat now.”

“Miss,” Chan regretted trying to lift himself up to sit. His right side of the body tensed in pain and he immediately hissed. “I am really not hungry.”

She smiled sheepishly and tilted her head. “Are you gonna be hungry when you’re on your death bed? Because your body hadn’t got enough energy to recover?”

Chan chuckled, but his lungs couldn’t get past the second seize, so it turned into painful coughing. “I probably won’t if it’s just rice.”

“You know what?” she threw the bowl back onto the tray and backed away rapidly to check something that’s written on his bed. “Chan? If you continue acting like a child, no woman will ever want you as a husband.”

Chan smiled amusedly. “Is that so?”

“Yes. And the worst part is that you probably won’t live up to have a wife if you continue to refuse meals.”

“Oh, no,” Chan said theatrically. “What a sad life without a wife it is.”

“Unbelievable. Completely unbelievable.”

The moment she threw her hands in air as a sign of defeat, she froze under the visitor’s stare. Chan had already seen Changbin behind the small door window a few minutes ago, but continued to poke her nerves for both of their enjoyment. 

“Do you treat all of your patients like this?” Changbin scowled and approached the bed.

“I apologize,” she cooed before leaving the room for good.

Chan was extremely glad to see Changbin with a smile on his face, and Changbin was cheerful to confirm his wellbeing. Their hands met in a short, but warm hold, squeezing until in physically hurt Chan.

“I got your phone, sir,” Changbin announced as he found a seat next to Chan’s bed. He placed it into his hand and immediately went to see the wounds on his body. Chan let him raise his shirt and examine the bandages around his stomach. “I didn’t know you had a bullet wound when I got you here.”

Chan’s face turned somber. “Perhaps you shouldn’t have done that.”

“I had to. Minho was delirious, Han was outside dealing drugs, Jeongin was on the verge of having a panic attack, and Felix was knocked out. I couldn’t have helped you, sir. I really couldn’t.”

“Is Lix out of jail?”

“Yes, he had a couple of bruises on his face, but we got him out.”

Chan’s face became relaxed again, almost like he said ‘thank god’, though he was surely the last person to mention religion through hard times. His eyelids suddenly felt heavy as fatigue dominated over his body. “Next time just let me bleed to death.”

The younger thug pressed his lips into a line and nodded in defeat. Chan wondered if Changbin would’ve given up on their empire just as easily as on his promises. Had he died, maybe it verily would’ve crumpled into pieces. Because, deep in his heart, he knew Changbin couldn’t hold onto something that Chan couldn’t approve as right. Although he was one of the wisest people Chan knew, he would’ve gotten lost in future after some time. 

He had to come back home.

“Are you still managing to do everything that’s necessary?” Chan almost growled in pain while trying to tap Changbin’s arm.

“Barely. Jeongin is working his ass off as well. Felix and Han are doing their best by running around Seoul and dealing. And Minho…”

By the tone of his voice, Chan was certain Minho was doing the worst out of them all. The only thing he could say to the killing silence was a sorrowful whisper. “He’s gone, Changbin.”

“No, I think he’s just lost. We can get him out of his delirium.”

“Changbin,” Chan sighed and closed his eyes due to the exhaust taking over his body. “If you saw what I saw that day… you would’ve killed him in defense.”

“So he really was the one that stabbed you. I’m sorry for doing so, sir, but I refused to believe it until I heard it from you. What happened exactly?”

All Chan could see was the other side of his eyelids, dark and sedating. His palm found a place on his forehead as he began to tell Changbin the story. “I wanted to tell him about Felix and what I’ve been doing with him. I was actually planning to tell him since last week, but I didn’t have the guts to. You know how much I hate losing people. That’s why I’ve been dragging him this far.”

Changbin nodded in understanding. “So you told him?”

“Don’t get me wrong – I didn’t do it because I wanted him to know. I did it because I wanted to know if he really hated me more than he loved me. And I found out,” he smiled for a second, but it faded away in brief seconds. “He launched at me with full force and I… let him do it.”

They enjoyed the peaceful silence for a short while. When he thought about it, the wind actually sounded nice after a long time, and the rustling of branches looked divine when he couldn’t go outside and witness them from up-close. Chan wanted to feel the coldness of the wind waves through his hospital room and just… shut down drowned in breeze. How crazy of him to long for coldness during the winter? People usually wished for things they lost or couldn’t have, though, for once, Chan wanted more of what he already had.

“Next time you come for a visit,” Chan said exhaustedly, “bring Felix, would you?”

“Without Minho?”

“Just Felix,” Chan repeated the same words.

Changbin laughed lightly. "He asked me tell you he said hi."

Chan smiled in return. "Tell him I said hi too."

"This is from him," he gave Chan a small folded piece of paper. "I haven't read it."

Chan's heart warmed from the sudden thoughtfulness from Felix. He paper's edges were slightly folded, like he was holding it between his fingers for a long time.

'I miss you 🙂'

He couldn't help but smile at his clean handwriting and a stupid smiley face at the end. It reminded him of kindergarten kids. Brightly, Chan looked at Changbin only to find him smiling as well, although he didn't see what it said. He knew Changbin was just happy to see him smile after all the shit they've been through during the last couple of weeks.

"I'll go now," Changbin stood up and straightened his black shirt. "By the way, we are still performing the mission at Kim's Casino today at 9 pm. I know you'd love to watch them get slaughtered, so I told Hyunjin to connect your phone to the surveillance cameras. Have fun."

As the door slammed shut, Chan's eyes shined with delight. He had actually forgotten about the plan from all the shit that was going through his head. But, frankly, Changbin was right about his eagerness to watch all of Kim's men get killed by his best henchman and a few other goons.

Violence and Felix - that was all Chan needed to feel satisfied.

…

A sharp jab of pain woke him up after what seemed like a 30 minute nap, though it surely wasn't for the room was teeming with dark shades of heavy blue. As soon as Chan raised his hand to hold his freshly stitched shoulder, he regretted ever having that idea in the first place. He was glad the room was a single because he would've woken up everyone around with loud eventual hisses.

It was 8:45 pm and he both wanted to go to the bathroom and ask for painkillers prior to watching the show that his people were about to perform. Yes, thinking about standing up on his own was easy, but actually doing it was a completely different thing. Had his ego been a bit lower, he would've called the orderly.

Hence, he first raised his arm to grab onto the holder of the infusion system connected to his arm through various tubes. Trying to push himself up, he growled to the unpleasant stinging sensation in his stomach, but mostly his shoulder. The pain from his abdomen was over the damn prickling; it hurt way worse but only when Chan made drastic and rapid movements. Though it was extremely sluggish, he managed to pull himself into a sitting position without howling his lungs out. Why couldn't he just call the fucking nurse instead of torturing his already miserable body?

Now came the hardest part - standing up. Chan was frankly scared to even try and pull for the momentum that he needed to stand up, but as far as he knew, only pain led him to success. Grabbing onto the stand and dragging himself up with impeccable force, Chan was able to remain still on both of his legs without drawing attention from nurses. Painful steps with the help of his infusion stand, and he made it through the door.

The utterly long hallway was empty and lit up just by several dim lamps on the wall, each almost dying from how old they were. Chan kept walking slowly with his bare feet as the unclean laminate floor made him uncomfortably cold. He should've told Changbin to buy him slippers.

On the painfully slow trip to the bathroom, Chan had to take several walking breaks and lean on the wall for additional support due to fatigue he was feeling; he already got used to the piercing sensation. He wondered whether it would've been easier to piss himself and clean rather than walk kilometers to the damn bathroom.

He thought that the discomfort would've been gone when he opened the bathroom door, but boy was he wrong. Frozen and uneasy, he looked at the woman in the bathroom while she was washing her hands tediously. Chan recognized her through the broken and stained mirror; those soft facial features and warm cheekbones as she sprayed water onto her face to freshen up. She didn't look sick even the slightest although they found each other in a hospital - that was good to see. But when she turned around and looked back at him, Chan swore he heard her breath hitch. Almost like she recognized him too. For a split second, Chan's face softened and he thought about saying just one word that could break the woman into tiny pieces.

_Mom?_

But he didn't have the guts to do so. No, that was just an ordinary lady, not his mother. He didn't need more problems. That was a while ago and if he could’ve gone 8 years without her, there was no need for weeping right now.

The woman slightly shook her lead like she was rejecting any secondhand thoughts and ideas about that boy being her son she hadn't seen for over 8 years. Instead, she showed him a smile that made his heart jump. 

"You can use the bathroom. It's free."

Then she left in an instant, likewise when Chan had left her. It took him a solid minute to regain his cognition again and remember why he was here for. Though, he still couldn't help but peek his head back through the door and watch her disappear from the hallway. Suddenly, it didn't seem so long when she was walking through it; they could've made it even longer just so he could stare at her and watch her leave. Nothing changed about her demeanor - there was still that light and easy step in her walking that Chan remembered when he was little, even the slight swing of her right arm was still present.

But she wasn't his family anymore. Only by blood, not by soul.

Maybe he really was going crazy. When he asked for another dose of painkillers from the orderly, his vision started getting blurry and patchy for whatever reason even though he had woken up around 20 minutes ago. 

“You are not supposed to be out of your bed!” she exclaimed when she saw him barely dragging his body to the counter. “How did you manage to get out?!”

All Chan heard were muffled sounds of her high-pitched voice as he held for dear life onto the infusion stand that he’d been dragging along ever since he had gotten out of his bed.

“I… need…” he barely managed to speak from exhaustion. “Some painkillers.”

The nurse looked at him with wide eyes, then she immediately reached for the drawer behind the counter. “Here. One paracetamol and codeine.”

Sha was glad she didn’t bother to help him stand - his ego would’ve hated it. Without water, he downed the single pill and gulped the other drug that was measured in a needless syringe as if it was the easiest thing in the world. The nurse watched him with pity in her eyes prior to actually getting to him and offering him her whole arm and body as a support.

And, of course, Chan couldn't give in despite all of that torturous struggle, so his head instinctively turned to the opposite direction and he jabbed his arm away from hers. Yet the very next step he took lured uncontrollable hisses out of his mouth. 

"Stop being stubborn, will you?" she seized his healthy arm and forcefully helped him walk by providing him stability and pulling him. 

By the time he was back into his bed, Chan was panting from how fast he had to walk because of her. He needed to wait a few more minutes before the drugs started kicking in so he could peacefully watch the cameras connected to his phone. 

Speaking of which, he was 10 minutes late for the ongoing show at Kim's Casino. His healthy arm hovered over the nightstand and pulled his phone out of the only drawer. Hastily entering the long connecting-dots password, he launched the new app on his phone and waited for the black screen to regain color so he could see the chaos Kim was about to live through. 

However, instead of seeing dead bodies and blood on the casino floor, he saw people playing the various games on all three of the cameras he was connected to. The fourth camera was disabled at first, but a few seconds later he saw Hyunjin and Felix behind the master computer that will be the device to make all of surveillance screens black. Felix didn't know Chan was watching; his eyes were glued to the screen while one of his hands was always leaned against the knife in his pocket just in case someone decided to switch to a different plan. He finally looked like one of them. 

But the thing that made Chan's mind puzzled was someone sitting at one of the gambling tables with cards, someone he knew very well to miss such a known face. 

Han was sitting as one of the four players and he was surprisingly winning by far. That wasn't a part of the plan that Chan introduced to the rest of them.


	20. Jisung

Queen of Spades, Queen of Hearts, Queen of Diamonds...

Jisung needed to get the last Queen out of their decks in order to win the round. It was just a matter of coincidence for whom it belonged to. His eyes quickly scanned the faces of his opponents and he wasn't certain about their next movements, however he was sure all three of them were civilians who liked to gamble rather than Kim's men.

"Get them out," he heard Changbin speak sternly from the only earbud he had.

Jisung let out an amused chuckle when the first player began the round with clubs, provoking a confused scowl from all of them. He bit his cheek and smiled. "Money's mine." Then he threw the last Queen onto the pile of stacking cards and left his opponents open-mouthed. He was having too much fun gambling at a foreign casino, whereas he was supposed to make them leave on their own.

Before entering the casino, Changbin told him that there were 4 people out of the 27 that weren't under Kim. He had to be the one to get them out for he was the only member of Chan's gang that still had his face unknown apart from Felix. Kim knew how all of them looked like and, therefore, he would've known they were planning a little surprise party if he saw them approaching his field. 

Exactly 5 minutes - that's how much time he had left to make them leave.

"Mine, mine, mine, mine...!" he sang purposely like a crazy lunatic and dragged the money towards himself. "Let's play again!"

Prior to appearing at the casino, Jisung had a character study session with Jeongin for he knew exactly how human psych worked. They were dealing with gamblers, players, recklessness; and Jeongin thought the simple reverse psychology tricks should work out on them. At the end of the day, they wouldn't be called gamblers if they went home after a single lose and quit spending an immense amount of cash on filling the holes of their own complexes. They know they shouldn't play anymore, although it seemed irresistible, yet they always end up at the same side of the road.

"Reverse psychology," Jeongin nodded certainly while advising Han. "And add a little bit of spice to your acting. Play crazy maybe?"

That's how Jisung ended up with his wide eyes being insanely eerie as he spoke slowly with drastic changes of facial expressions. One second he was oddly laughing and the other his hands were seizing his hair and slightly pulling it.

Luckily, he managed to weird out two of the players and make them leave on their own, however the last player, who was opposing him, was sitting unbothered at his place. By the barely noticeable wrinkles on his face, Jisung thought the man was in his mid-forties. Nonchalantly, the last player kept shuffling the deck of cards, though Jisung couldn't afford to play another game. He had 3 more minutes left to get him and another person out of the damn casino and he surely wasn't going to do it through reverse-fucking-psychology. 

"Don't you have a family to feed?" Jisung lifted his brow, same lunatic echo lingering through his throat. 

The man glanced at him, but continued to shuffle the deck. "Don't you have classes tomorrow?" 

"I know about your business. Meet me outside in a minute." 

While casually avoiding the gambling tables, Jisung walked to the main door and got out. There was no possible way to know who the last civilian was, let alone save him. Besides, he didn't even know if the man from his previous games was going to get out. If he didn't, that's a double loss and a messed up plan that Chan would most certainly criticize if he was to see it. 

But soon enough, Jisung heard a sold click of the closing door as his eyes met with another pair of their own kind. It was him - the man he needed to get out before the timer went out. 

"What business?" the older asked while lighting up a cigarette that slightly shined in the dark. 

Jisung chuckled briefly. "None." 

"Then why did you ask me to go outside?"

“Well, you see…” Han slightly paused, then narrowed his eyes at the man and tilted his head. “I’d better not tell you. You would be blown away.”

Right after the words left his mouth, a horrific explosion from the casino sent numerous pieces of broken glass windows flying like knives at their direction. Jisung was quick to cover his face and pull out the pistol from his back as the man ran for his life.

As he went through the already broken door, he analyzed what the explosion left demolished and what was yet to be ruined by Chan's gang. Although everything Han could hear was the buzzing in his ears, he managed to see Changbin and two other goons across the casino and read from his lips.

"Ready?" Changbin mouthed as he raised his submachine gun. 

Jisung grinned smugly. "Rise and fucking shine!" 

The three of Chan's biggest goons lined up and began spraying everything in the room, including people, lamps, leftover windows, lottery machines, furniture and basically everything Kim had in there. Chan would've loved to see the song of their screams and shouting, as well as the scenery. He would kill to be here if he could right now. 

Jisung retreated at the back of the bar, however he was soon met with a pair of suffocating arms behind his back that were now circled around his neck and seizing tight. Thanks to his quick-witted mind, he was able to point the pistol at the man's foot and pull the trigger which conducted to both of them slamming the ground in growls. He tried to pull out of the strong grip, but the brawn difference was evident enough for him to try and reach for the pistol that flew away from his hands. Unfortunately, he sucked up an excruciating punch to his face - so painful he thought some of his teeth fell out. As much as he tried to distance himself from the enemy goon, his muscles couldn't manage to fulfill his attempts. The fist met his face again, and again, and... Then he saw the goon twitch from another gunshot. Jisung looked around to see who helped him and his already swollen eyes barely met Changbin's gaze - his SMG was out of bullets and he switched to something more precise like a pistol akin to Han's. 

"Quit fucking around and stand up!"

Jisung tried to lift himself up, but his head felt so light that he thought he was flying.

Changbin growled after poking his shoulder from up. "Stand the fuck up! Chan is watching through the cameras!"

All of a sudden, Han's senses came back to their normal performance when Chan's name was mentioned. It's scary how usual he felt after those three obnoxious punches.

For a second, he thought he might have become deaf, however it was just the SMGs dropping out of aim because there were no bullets left in them. They really massacred the whole casino in just a minute; not a single soul rising from the floors in try to crawl outside. Shivers went down his spine when he saw a small pile of bodies that randomly fell onto each other after getting shot.

Han didn't know what was more messed up - torturing a man until he can't take it no longer or waking up to a pile of dead bodies that got murdered in a brief minute. Both were terrifying and both were exactly what Chan loved - glorious and enjoyable.

"Sir!" one of the goons yelled from the other side of the game room.

Changbin forcefully grabbed Han and dragged him towards the goons in a hurried manner. The closer they got, the louder the sobs got from a young woman that was lying on the floor, not far away from other bodies. Han could tell her upper arm was injured by the way she seized her hand around it to stop the bleeding.

"You said to leave one of the girls alive if possible."

Changbin nodded and told them to leave the casino and head home; him and Han could handle the situation without further intertwining. Besides, nobody was supposed to know about the kidney donor they needed for the return of Hyunjin's favor.

It sounded far more agonizing to hear everything that was happening around - the screams outside the casino, the police sirens from afar and the heartbreaking weeping of a woman below them. Perhaps, this was the reason Han couldn't be one of Chan's best goons. He could fight and protect himself to the certain point, yet he couldn't bare the sound of others' pain.

"P-Please let me live..." her voice trembled like a sticks on a winter night. ”I'm no harm to you."

Changbin looked away. "We need her kidneys, but I think I found a valid donor."

"So we take her or no?"

"NOO!" she cried and nagged on Jisung's pants.

Changbin kicked her arm away from him and hissed. "I don't know how certain the willing donor is. I'm just wondering do we take her or kill her like others."

"Taking her puts us at more risk."

"Exactly."

They both looked at the woman who was now bawling her eyes out on the floor, crumbled in a ball for she knew what was to happen. Although she was on the enemy team, Jisung still had an urge to reassure her that everything is going to be fine, though he well knew it wasn't. That's how they put dogs to sleep, they speak softly until they finally go away and Han knew there was no future for her. She either lives or Han faces terrible consequences because Chan was watching.

"We can't leave you," he spoke softly, but fastened up when he heard the sirens approaching. "I'm afraid-"

When he least expected it, she swung backwards when he touched her shoulder, hand bleeding from a piece of glass, and cut right across his face. Han didn't feel anything at all, but he sensed the warm blood oozing from his fresh wound. More importantly, he felt fear when she climbed on top of him holding that same piece of glass and preparing to strike again just at his neck.  
And Jisung would've died there. He would've died if Changbin didn't pull the trigger that threw her back at the floor and left him gasping for air. He touched the ugly scar to see how bad it was, but he couldn't exactly tell.

"How bad?"

Changbin grimaced and tried to drag him upwards for the police were almost there. "Doesn't matter! We have to go now!"

"Freeze!"

It was already too late. A squad of 6 policemen broke into the building, catching them with their guard lowered. And there was no fucking way they freeze and get arrested for first degree murder.  
Changbin started running towards the backdoor and Han was following him in tow. Prior to actually going through the door, Jisung heard a few gunshots and he thought the policemen had shittier reactions than him. 

They both ended up on the streets surrounded by people who had a safe distance from the casino, but were still close enough to watch and scream as the two of them appeared outside. Before they could think about where to go, the next crew of policemen cut them from the left by parking sideways and blocking the traffic while the other 6 got out of the casino just after that. 

"Fuck," Changbin mumbled and reached for Han's arm to continue dragging him to where they could go. 

But Han yanked his hand out of Changbin's grip and looked at him with a defeated expression. "Changbin, man... W-We can't..." 

"What are you saying for fuck's sake?!" 

But there really was no way - they couldn't outrun the policemen, let alone outnumber them. It frankly felt like a defeat for once in their life, a defeat that was going to lead them in prison along with Chan and Hyunjin and Felix... 

"Don't move!" one of them shouted with a gun pointed right at Han's head. 

With lost hope and a failed plan, Han gave up. He knew he wasn't supposed to, not even if he was dying according to Chan. But he couldn't find a rational completion to this. 

He raised his hands up in the air like he was reaching to grab onto something, maybe hope, maybe forgiveness. "Before you go," Jisung began, "I want you to know that it was an honor to have you as a companion, Changbin." 

Changbin breathed out and gave him a pitiful smile. "You too."

Then he raised his hands along with Han and dropped his head to the floor. Although they completed their mission to take out majority of Kim's men, they had to sacrifice something of their own for everyone's success; whether it was life, freedom, money or peace... But seeing them on the jammed streets with their hands in the air and heads turned down was definitely something they had never expected. Han thought he'd get beaten to death and Changbin wanted to die a hero while protecting the ones he loved the most, but instead they were shamefully frozen like plain statues. 

But never has Jisung ever regretted meeting any of them and working for Chan. He loved his job in the gang to the core of his bones and he didn't ever want to imagine himself as a student again with a completely normal life and a completely normal family. 

Chan once told him to die doing what he loved. And Han truly loved being the assistant chemist. 

As much as they thought that was the end, a little surprise never failed to enter their party. They both dropped their hands as soon as the car blasted through the parked police vehicles and slowed down next to them. 

"Hop in!" Hyunjin yelled from the inside of the car while Felix was focusing on driving. 

Han had never thought he'd be so glad to see them in those black outfits and masks on their faces. That was truly a blessing.

Changbin and Han jumped in through the windows and they were sure close to getting shot for the hundredth time today as the bullets flew past their still dangling legs and pierced through the door. When their legs were off the ground, Felix accelerated abruptly which resulted in Changbin injuring his knee from sudden speed.

He growled in pain. “Fuck! Go, go, go!”

Felix sincerely gave zero fucks for Chan’s expensive car and drove straight in-between the two horizontally parked police cars; smashing their car’s own door and destroying the trunk of policemen’s. They held for dear life as Felix drifted turn after turn while trying to get out of their sight.

When Jisung readjusted and made himself comfortable enough not to crack his skull if Felix braked, he told Felix to keep going wherever he could. Their main objective right now is to make them lose track as soon as possible; later came the plan of getting Chan and Minho.

"Jesus," said Hyunjin reluctantly. "What the hell happened to your face?"

Jisung tapped the wound that cut between his left eyebrow all the way to his chin. His bottom lip looked obnoxiously distorted like he was missing a big chunk of it, though Hyunjin told him it was just deeply cut.

"You know how to stitch it up, right?" Jisung asked hopefully.

"Do I look like a doctor?"

Jisung scowled. "No?"

"Then, that's the answer to your first question."

Jisung glanced at the rearview mirror and, oh god, he looked hideous with all that blood and a scar. Maybe he'd get less beaten now if he were to deal drugs again. But that was only if they manage to get out alive.

Changbin wasn't good. Ever since they got in he was hissing and holding onto his knee. Nobody knew how bad it was, but it sure seemed serious if Changbin made any sound. That man was trained to keep his face straight after getting shot.

"Dislocated?" Han asked.

Changbin shook his head. "Sprained."

"Shit. Can you walk?"

"Probab-"

They got cut off by the sound of their back window breaking. The police were onto them again; now without hesitation to kill.

"Heads down!" Changbin demanded and they all hid behind their seats except for Felix who had to drive.

Changbin was quick to act by returning the bullets back just after their shooting timer. Jisung backed him up and told him to cover the left side of their car while he has right. He was sure they would win the shooting game just if they had enough bullets - only one full clip was left for Han's pistol while Changbin was hanging low on ammo too.

"One more clip left! What about you?"

Changbin cussed. "Six shots!"

That was not good.

"Alright, we shoot on three!"

One...

Two...

Three.

Both of them peeked out of the window with their aim ready and shot. Han was aiming for tires while Changbin was aiming for headshots. He missed the front tire by a strand of hair and was left with 5 bullets now.

Their round was over and now it was the time for the officers to shoot. They bent their heads and waited for exactly 10 seconds until they could shoot again.

"What about now?!"

"Only one bullet left."

Shit. "Aim for the tire."

Right when he finished the sentence, like he jinxed it, their back tire popped and the weight shifted to one side leaving them slower than the police car. Now they had to hit something other than the asphalt.

Right when the 10 seconds went up, they peeked their head for another round, this one a more critical one. Changbin waited for a few seconds so the police car gets closer to them. Then he shot his last bullet at the tire, but, unfortunately, he missed it again. However, Han was the one to hit the tire and the driver just after that.

"Nice one, champion!" Changbin exclaimed.

"Go, Felix, go!"

This was their last chance at attempting to get away from the police, other way they'd all get caught either alive or dead and be put in either a prison or graveyard. Perhaps not even a graveyard - they'd let their corpses rot for what they've done.

The police car came crashing down the road as they still continued to drive further away from the city. None of them had a clue where they were supposed to go now that they couldn't get Chan, Minho nor Jeongin. Actually, they didn't even have a clue what Minho and Jeongin were doing.

"Should I call Jeongin?" Han asked worried.

"No," Changbin denied. "Crash the car first."

"Crash the car?! Are you crazy?!"

"Crash the car and run towards the forest. Stay together and go as fast as you can."

Han and Hyunjin's jaw dropped. "That's a bad idea, Changbin. We can't outrun them in any way! It's better to just keep driving! "

"Look," Changbin exhaled deeply. "I know that there is no possible alternative that we harmlessly get out, but we are missing a tire, they are faster, there's more of them... Just... Just go."

Han could sense the tension in his voice that was starting to build ever since their plan started to fail. It began with partial doubting and unrealistic tries to keep going, but Han knew it was going to end in a way far worse than that. Changbin couldn't run and he was demanding them to go. That could only lead to all of them getting caught or just him sacrificing himself for the team. And a real leader would've known when it was time to go instead of try. Changbin didn't know.

"Call Jeongin before we go."

Changbin denied again. "No. Jeongin is taking care of Chan and Minho. I obliged him to do so. Felix, hear me out," he cleared his throat and spoke clearly without stuttering. "Do no stop the car. Go full possible speed and then we jump out of it and let the police chase it. It will bring us enough time to run away from them."

Hyunjin taunted. "And we go where? Back to the city?"

"Exactly."

"Damn, I knew you guys were lunatics when I met you, but this is some next level shit."

Changbin negated. “Do you understand?”

They all nodded, hence Felix began to speed up. They all kept silent and focused so they could hear Changbin’s signal to go off. Sincerely, Han was prepared not to run, but to watch over Changbin for he knew the injured man couldn’t get far on his own; and he definitely wasn’t leaving him behind.

In a minute, which felt like an instant, Changbin raised his voice and told them to go. Han opened the front door, pushed it and slickly slid out of the car. What he didn't expect was the momentum that built up and made his body slide on the filthy asphalt when he got out of the car, which caused his pants to rip off and his ankles to lacerate. Although dizziness dominated his brain, Han crawled like he was drunk to the nearby forest in order to get himself to clear. It wasn't dense, but it had enough trees to cover them up and make the police lose track in the midst of branches and trunks. 

He ran and ran and ran and, then, he looked back when there were nothing but tree trunks and dead leaves amongst his presence. His skin felt dry from air that was hitting. Tension spread inside of him when he failed to see any of his crew mates when he looked behind. God, he really didn't like Hyunjin, but right now he'd do anything to at least see him. Shouting wasn't an option he had, hence he continued to run far away from the road until his slim legs couldn't take it anymore. If someone who didn't know him saw him sprinting through the forest, they would've thought he was a Bigfoot (or in his case a Smallfoot) and he would've definitely become the next new sensation with that hideous scar and bleeding knees.

To his fortune, Hyunjin and Felix found each other while running and stopped right when they saw Han out of breath. Both of them looked perfectly fine, just a tad sweaty and red from the sharp cold. 

"Is-Is Changbin coming?" Han inhaled deeply after saying.

They both shrugged and looked at each other, eyes quite wide from the sudden question. "I didn't see him ever since we got out," Felix claimed.

"Okay," it wasn't okay. "Go without me, I'll wait for Changbin and come right when I find him." 

With no further explanation, Hyunjin was the first to go and Felix followed him in tow instinctively. 

All the worst scenarios pierced through Han's head while he waited for his companion to arrive. At first he thought they caught him, maybe even shot him, but he had an utter feeling that Changbin was just being sluggish and couldn't manage to run like the rest of them. 

That turned out to be true when he saw that short man limping his way to him with a pained expression on his face. Jisung could surely tell it hurt like fucking hell when Changbin was partially jumping on his right leg in order to go faster. 

He hurried towards his injured gang mate. "I got you." His arm found a way under Changbin’s and they began limping together on their way back to the city. 

"Wait," the older hissed. "Call Jeongin for me and tell him to pick us up." 

"Right now?" 

"Yes, right now." 

Jisung took Changbin's phone and searched contacts for Jeongin. He waited a few seconds for him to pick up and, while doing so, he said that Felix and Hyunjin had already passed them and were on their way back to the city. 

"Tsk... They're both gonna get caught without us." 

"Oh, trust me," Han scoffed. "Hyunjin might be a lost fly, but Felix knows what he's doin- Jeongin?!" Jisung almost gasped in surprise. 

"Uh... Han-" 

"Did you get Chan out of the hospital?" 

"Yes, I did, but-" 

"You need to come for us right now! We're at the west boarder in Mapo-gu!"

"Han, I got a small problem-" 

"Come pick us up now!" Jisung kept recklessly demanding.

"I would," Jeongin sighed, slightly panicking on the other side of the line. "I would if you house wasn't burning down right now and Minho wasn't inside of it."


End file.
